What is the most bizarre counsel you received as a JW, from a JW?

by Funchback 180 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot
    I was told by an elder that I should not be watching zombie movies because they used live people to play the part of the dead.
  • ctrwtf

    A sister once told me that she wanted Frank Sinatra's "Fly Me To The Moon" played at her wedding reception.

    Her husband to be shot it down because of the lyric, "you are all I long for, I WORSHIP and adore." Can't have any of that can we? I think they divorced not long after the marriage.

  • John Aquila
    John Aquila
    When I was newly married, I hugged my wife during the song and was counseled not to do that because it would cause the friends to have improper thoughts about us having sex.
  • cultBgone

    Don't forget that we weren't supposed to read fortune cookies at the Chinese restaurants.

    And some would say never to buy things at yard sales because the demons could be possessing them...but that was a major hangout for the overzealous pio sisters as they could shop and "witness" by handing the homeowner a tract on the way out.

    So crazy.

  • Sabin

    Orphancrow, he was a pervert!

    I was told by a sister, " you need to learn how to do small talk like me, then you can be friendly with everyone without having them as friends".

    Here`s another one " you need to protect yourself from the brothers & sisters in the cong".

    A visiting elder came up to me after a meeting & said " you are to honest when you answer up" WTF!

    I was always in trouble for opening my gob & telling some-one the truth. I thought honesty & Christianity went hand in hand. How wrong was i.

  • apostrate

    When I was in my early 20's I did not know what the word "euphemism" meant. Not only do I now know what it means, but I realize that the "brother" you are about to hear about did not really know what it meant either.

    One night after the service meeting this "brother" came up to me and said, "The other elders and I have noticed that you tend to use "euphemisms" a lot."

    Not knowing what that meant, I just gave him a perplexed look and said, "What???"

    He said, "You know, you use words like "golly" and "gee whiz."

    Not trying to be funny, but I again looked at him and said, "Gee! I didn't realize that!"

    Then I just walked away from him, pissed! With all the other things that I was going through at the time, I couldn't believe that someone would try to make a big stink about me saying, "Gee"!

    This "brother" happened to be the husband of Diane Wilson, who would later write the book, "Awakening of a Jehovahs Witness".

    When I read her book, she told the story of how her husband had scolded others for the same transgression.

    Goooolly! (Gomer Pyle voice)

  • Mephis
    CO's wife turning up to eat dinner with pioneer mum. Summer holidays and the film Waterloo (PG rating, this was early afternoon British tv viewing in the late 80s) was on.Love me my historical stuff. She decided to come into the living room while dinner was being made. CO's wife then began to give a story about how violent films weren't what Jehovah liked and how watching violent things made you do violent things. I asked her about Joshua asking for the sun to stand still so he could kill his full quota of Canaanites for the day and the drama about that at the convention. She went back into the kitchen. 26 years later, I've still yet to mount a cavalry charge against the French.
  • cultBgone

    @apostrate, long before I became a dub, I was scolded by my fleshly sister for the same thing, because saying any word like Gee, Gosh, or even Goodness! was jest a shortened form of "God" so those words were not proper and went against Jehoober.

    Nothing quite like telling a young innocent teenager that they were displeasing the "creator of the universe" by saying Good Grief!

    Dubs do love Rules and Guilt Trips.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    I was a low budget pioneer. I had worked part time, was an MS who gave talks out of town and even a part on the circuit assembly! I lived on nothing and simply relied on Jehoober to take care of my sustenance and covering. Of course I worked but always bought used clothes, suits etc. The PO, who shopped at Macy's once approached me and counseled me that my suit wasn't nice enough to be on the platform as I was. I asked, "You really think so?" He said, "Yes". I mentioned that he could really help me solve the problem and I would appreciate it. If you buy me a suit at Macy's then you will be happy and my problem will be solved. Until then, shut up about it." He was a real bag of feces. The Circuit Overseer had no problem with my attire, he used me all the time. I think jealousy was the real issue with mister "wannabe important in the Circuit".
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Shirley W: that is exactly what happen"the nosy but jealous brothers gave us counsel".

    The funny thing about it a few years after we won the money I saw elders wives sitting in

    the audience on the game show Price is Right, lets Make a Deal and other game shows.LOL

    We won on the New Treasure hunt game show in 1972...

Share this