What is the most bizarre counsel you received as a JW, from a JW?

by Funchback 180 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • truthseeker100

    I am glad you appreciated it Morpheus and Oubliette.

    Oubliette don't the student testimonials in that advertisement give you that warm and fuzzy feeling about how normal these people are? LOL just kidding

  • wannaexit

    when I was a kid, a co told us kids that the song "put your head on my shoulder" promoted immorality.

  • brandnew
    I think it was "put your LEGS on my shoulders.......ummm...yeah.
  • sir82

    Not exactly directed at me, but I once had the following conversation with an up-n-coming MS:

    UCMS: "Do you know what a guy is really saying, when he holds a girls hand?"

    Me: "Er, no?"

    UCMS: "What he's really saying is, I want to have sex with you!"


    I can easily picture him sharing that little nugget of wisdom with every JW male in his sphere of influence, now that he is an elder.

  • Vidiot

    I'd suspected long before my fade that when particular elders ranted uptightly about women's dress and grooming, it was because they themselves didn't have the self-control to not walk around half-hard at the sight of a little female skin.

    Which I also thought was kind of pathetic.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    There is a direct coalition in people that is holier than thou and

    obsession with sex..

  • Vidiot

    @ James Mixon...

    Hooo, is there ever.


    I'd also concluded long before my fade that...

    a) ...people who constantly ranted against sexuality were actually horny freaks, and...

    b) ...sexual repression fostered sexual deviancy.

  • Oubliette

    TruthSeeker: Oubliette don't the student testimonials in that advertisement give you that warm and fuzzy feeling about how normal these people are? LOL just kidding

    Maybe not warm, but certianly fuzzy, ... or feathered, as the case may be!

  • Aprostate Exam
    Aprostate Exam
    At get togethers, I danced a lot and with many sister friends. So one night at a get together, the same bastard elder from my previous comment came up to me, pulled me to the side and said, "brother you move your body and hips too much." I answered, "But this is salsa dancing brother." He pissed me off so badly that I moved even more exaggeratedly as we passed in front of him. Yes, now I know he was for sure looking at my C*ck and B%lls.
  • dhlpcjw

    Played a song on guitar at a "wetness gathering". It was something top-40 and inoffensive. Later an elder from my KH pulled me aside to say I shouldn't have played it because another elder from a different hall who was there just informed him that the VIDEO of the song I just played has questionable content.

    I tried to reason with him that it was doubtful many there had seen the video. Besides, I didn't play the video- I played the SONG. He said it was the same thing.

    It struck me as odd since this was normally a pretty laid back elder. A heavy drinker and was well known to perform some questionable songs himself. So it was clear to me that the other elder was forcing him to discipline me.

    Exasperated, I said: "well fine, I already played the song. I can't take it back. I'm sorry if someone was offended. Should I apologize to everyone or do you think that would be giving further attention to something inappropriate? Do you think some could be tempted to look up the video?"

    He dropped the matter once he realized that bringing this to my attention was fruitless.

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