by avishai 155 Replies latest jw experiences
dorayakii--I love you--you are hilarious!! Love your writing ability and sense of humor
fantastic privilege of prayer--apparently the privilege of prayer is not fantastic, it is very real
unbelievable level of faith--it was believable
LOL!!!!!!!!
Then why is there a book called The Divine Plan of the Ages?
Priceless!!! Thanks for making me laugh so hard I cried!!
Fleaman:
he once picked on me to answer!!I didnt have my hand up!Naturally i was daydreaming and he woke me up...man,was i flustered
I once got caught like that, too, so answered: "Same point!" (fortunately, someone had given an answer just prior to my being asked!).
Ian
After reading some more replies, one of them jogged my memory:
I wanted to date this sister (now my estranged wife) and my jw mother didnt want to allow it (I was 19 at the time!) and so we were banned from doing so. The PO got involved as she went to him to discuss it, he happened to be our book study conductor at the time. In the mean time this sister and I got our parents together and got an agreement to go out with each other (with strict restrictions). My mother didnt update this elder as some time had gone by etc.
Anyhow I started to notice after a few months that I wasnt being asked to read or say prayers at the group, there were a few other brothers so it took a while for me to realise I wasnt being asked. At first I thought it was odd but enjoyed the break from doing those chores, but in the end I thought I was being singled out and didnt know why. I went to the PO and mentioned it, to have him confirm he was restricting my privileges for going against my mother. I explained what had happened and why hadn't he informed me that I was being restricted because we could have cleared this all up then. He replied he wanted me to discern there was a problem and then come to him!!! Still actions such as these created the pressure that in time would make me leave.
ARRGGGHHH!!! Posting on the "Was your Kingdom Hall Attacked" thread made me remember this little gem - and it can go nowhere else but this wonderful thread:
I used to have to go the local post office once a week for the kingdom hall bulk mail. I was the assistant book-room guy for magazines. (they had another guy for the books and bibles). What went down was that you had to pick up a big cloth bag of watchtowers one week, awakes the next, and so on. The mags were rolled up in about 4" diameter rolls in brown butcher paper.
We had a kind of pigeon hole cabinet in the literature room with everybody's name on it. Each pub had to subscribe to a certain number of magazines and pick them up on friday night after the service meeting. There were bigger holes at the bottom for the few pioneers or extra-holies who got more mags per week. Naturally, everybody paid cash when they picked them up. Pioneers got a discount. (note - at the time, if you got the full contribution, even publishers made a few cents profit on each mag - pioneers making a little more).
So, the drill was for the assistant book-room troll to pick them up in the front trunk of his Corvair, shlepp them over to the hall, and then cut open these rolls and count out the appropriate number and stick them in the pigeon holes as per the orders. I had been doing this every week for about a year or so when the new go-getter of a presiding overseer happened by to see my technique to open the rolls and stuff the boxes. I was supposed to do this thursday or friday afternoon to be ready for friday night, but got caught doing it right before the meeting friday evening.
What I was doing was to cut open those rolls with a single-edge safety razor blade and then count out the magazines for each tray. PO noticed that after a while at this repetitive task I was not being totally careful to cut right down the overlap where the top magazine margin left a little gap so as not to damage even the very outside mag in the roll. About one mag per roll was getting its cover ripped through with the razor due to my carelessness.
Now, you might imagine that just a little private word to me would do on this...NAWWW!!! - this jerk waits until after the friday night meetings and gets both the magazine servant and the book & bible servant and both of us assistants and gives me what for over it. The lashing was complete with a demonstration of proper technique for de-husking Jehovah's priceless food.
It did not matter that the brothers and sisters were probably letting most of these priceless food treasures stack up (unplaced) in the rear trunks of their service worthy 4 door sedans to be summarily tossed about once a month or so.
as I said at the top, ARRGGGHHH!!!
For sitting in a small little sports car with a young bro. Granted we were out in service but who knows what we could have been doing. After time, I realized what they were implying and I thought you people are nutz, there was no room in that car to do anything, my dad called it my go-cart.
Which leads to having a two door car because it was not practical for service. Which I responded, YOU'RE RIGHT, I will give up pioneering because my car is not practical. Not another word was never said.
I got in trouble for going to college as well. Again, I offered to stop pioneering and that again shut everybody up.
When all that business in the States was happening with the kids killing eachother in school, my posse and I were accused of being part of the trench coat mafia because we had the gaul to wear long coats.
We were counseled that the music we were listening to was demonic and one elder said he could see the "demons coming from the speakers". But there were too many of us and all we did was laugh at the guy.
The young guys in my hall were told by the PO that their hair cuts were too fadish and they needed to get a regular hair cut. He suspended their priv. in the hall (no mikes, no talks, not working behind counters, etc.). Although they were very happy about losing their priv., their mother finally pressed them to get "conservative" hair cuts. Not a month later in the Awake in the YPA section, there was a kid standing giving a talk with exactly the same hair cut these guys had. They boys made hundreds of copies of the mag and as a joke, they put copies of the page everywhere they could, in the guy's book bag, in his coat pockets, they put it under his windshield. The guy had a good sense of humor because he thought it was hysterical that they went to all that trouble and he apologized.
There was a MS who was behind the counter and he had dropped a bunch of mags, so I went behind the counter to help him pick them all up and I was told I was not "allowed behind the counter because I was a sister". I guess being in the hall is like being in the temple, certain rooms (counter) are off limits.
I had an ankle bracelet and I was told that I could not wear it because it was wordly. Hmm, never took it off as I explained that I had never seen anything in the Bible that says ankle bracelets are bad and that I was thinking of getting a nose ring because that was mentioned in the Bible, but then I thought again because it looked painful. Tsk, tsk, tsk, once again talking back.
I am sure anyone who was young and raised a JW has tons of similar experiences.
Counseled for a slit in my dress.
counseled for going to discos.
counseled for taking a handicap man to a disabled only swimming pool.
They wondered how he got in and out of his swim trunks. (winking/smiley emoticon!)
counseled for barfing in my 20s.
counseled to keep my Watchtower comments shorter or I would not be called on.
counseled that my dating a brother for longer than two years was inappropriate and the elders broke us up.
1. When it became known that I was leaving my rural congregation for the city life, an elder told me that I shouldn't go around hugging sisters so much, especially when I move to a larger city congregation since it would be in appropriate especially since the brothers in the new congregation wouldn't know me right away...I was a flaming gay teenager.....helllloooo, I'm more butch now of course, but I always thought that was odd.
2. I was around 15 or so and an elder approached me before the meeting and asked me to welcome back so and so who just came in since he was going to be reinstated at that meeting. Of course I replied that I will wait until after the meeting and after the announcement of his reinstatement, but he kept pressing me to go welcome him back. So I followed Br. Elder's advice and started talking to him. Another Elder saw me talking to him, then came and pulled me into the back with my Elder Dad. I explained that the other Elder brother told me to go speak with him, that I hadn't felt comfortable doing it. I was counseled that I shouldn't do everything I'm told and should only follow Jehovah's arrangement. To this day I don't know if those 2 Elders were F******* with me but it was a bizarre mind trip. On the way home from that meeting, my Dad said I didn't do anything wrong, just to be careful with them and if anything comes up with them again, talk to him first.
The wierdest thing that I was "counsiled" for was during my second JC. An elder brought forth an allegation that was made by a recently divorced sister who claimed that I had said that her & I should have breakfast at a local hotel. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I asked if there was a second witness to this statement. He said that there wasn't, but it was something they (the JC) were concerned about. I told them that unless they had a second witness, and unless the sister was willing to be called in that I would not discuss it. I also stated that this sister was merely having wishful thinking, and that she should be counciled for gossiping. The elder that aired the charge then said that it was not my position to lecture him about handling judicial matters, especially when I was the subject of a JC. Arrogance!
What I was doing was to cut open those rolls with a single-edge safety razor blade and then count out the magazines for each tray.
I got counseled for carrying a knife to the meetings/KH. I had the same assignement, except it was a few years later when the mags came in boxes. I would take my pocket knife and cut the tape holding the box closed. Granted it was a nice lock blade Buck knife, but it wasn't anything that wouldn't fit in a pants pocket.
An elder pulled me aside and said that it didn't "look good" for me to be pulling that knife out and using it in the hall. A little stunned, I asked what I could use. He said there was a pair of scissors in the literature counter...borrow them each time and return them.
Another one I remembered, this uptight CO told the pioneers in the pioneer meeting that the sisters were too plain and we needed to wear more make-up. You have to understand, this group was pretty earthy, so make-up was not something we thought was necessary. Now keep in mind, his wife was dressed to the nines and had a full face of war paint. He parting comment to the group (all of which were sisters) was "every old barn needs fresh paint". He actually got a tongue lashing from an elderly "anoited sister" who was full of piss and vinegar. Yup, he got schooled by a sista. According to her, no one ever told her she was out of line, maybe cause they were afraid that once she got in heaven she would get even with them all.
This same CO asked a sister if she had been out jogging that morning and when she said yes, he said he thought so because he felt the earth trembling. Then he told her that her time would be better suited doing something else. I am not sure what because she was already by standards the ideal witness.
He also, told people that they could not say "contribution" because it was inappropriate "donation" was appropriate. Again, a sista pointed out to him that the boxes in the hall say "contribution", so if it really was a vulgar word, would it be written on the boxes in the hall.
Unfortunately we had that jerk for 2 go rounds. I figured it was punishment for something. That whole idea of hell on earth thing.
As for the skirts being too short, you would think they would eat the stuff up considering what they want people to tell during a JC when they admit to having sex.
