I just remembered an elder counseling me for not making my bed
Cor Saoirse - and you never got counselled for having an elder in your bedroom? Lol
Whats the dumbest reason youve been counseled?
by avishai 155 Replies latest jw experiences
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MidwichCuckoo
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Oroborus21
-wrinkled dress shirts, black and dark colored shirts, (Was told only white shirts were appropriate)
-my western bolo style ties and dressy cowboy boots, quite common in my home congregation, didn't go over too well in LA
-usual stuff of low hours and meeting attendance
-some dating and sex stuff
-the internet
but probably the dumbest thing I ever got counseled on was for parking in the red. It was at our bookstudy and there was never any parking. Almost directly across from where the bookstudy was, was a commercial store of some kind. To me it looked liked they had painted the sidewalk curb themselves to free up space for their loading zone. Since it was always after hours I would just park there. I never once got a ticket. But the mother of the bookstudy conductor, who was a real bee found it objectionable so instead of coming to me with her problem, she whined to her son. I said that I hadn't gotten a ticket and that I didn't believe it to be a legitimate red zone but i was still told that the appearance of it was wrong and might hurt the conscience of others.
So i started parking farther away (keep in mind this is the hood we are talking about) or often not going at all.
what was humourous was that this brother and the other elder who counseled me on the color of my dress shirts were notorious speeders.
-eduardo
the stamp counsel has to be the best one. there were many times when I simply couldn't help but laugh at the counsel, but if someone had tried to counsel on stamps, I probably would have wet my pants with laughter over that one. that is precious. It sounds like confuscious was in a pretty narrow minded congregation to get counseled on so many petty things.
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rebel8
What is this? International Resurrect Old Threads Week? Maybe it's a sign of Armageddon...........!
Counseled for licking envelopes and stamps (did someone say that?)....because it was rumored there was horse blood in the glue.
Counseled for cracking eggs directly into cookie dough. Should crack them into a separate bowl to ensure there is no blood in them b4 adding them to food.
Also for telling ppl I participated in Walk to Save the County and wanted to participate again, because no one can save the county except Jehovah. (That is a charitable walkathon to buy land to save it from development.)
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dorayakii
For having like, 2 hairs on my chin when i was about 16... "You sould shave, its not appropriate to wear a beard in the Kingdom Hall"
For referring to the WTS as "The Society". A few years ago there was something going around that we couldn't say "The Society", anymore, we had to say "The Faithful Slave" or "The Governing Body"
For wearing a hat into the foyer of the Kingdom Hall... I wasn't even baptised yet then, but i was told, "Brothers should take off hats before they enter, only sisters are alowed to wear a hat inside because it shows their submission towards the brothers"
For wearing a different coloured jacket and trousers (pants)on the platform while giving a bible reading. (The jacket was tweed and the trousers were grey)
For wearing concealed silver wrist and neck chains
For going to a public secondary school (umm... aka. "private high-school" for you Americans)
For going to university
For going shopping alone with a sister (A rumour went around that we were courting. I tried all kinds of ways to get out of that one, but i really just wanted to admit it and cry out "I'm gay for Vishnu's sake, why is this a problem" but i obviously couldn't)
For watching The Matrix and LotR and enjoying them.
For having a Windsor-knot on my tie instead of the normal (imho) trashy Four-in-Hand knot. (After the Awake! article "Neckties Then and Now" came out, i reprised my old Windsor knot.)
For saying in my talks that we have the "fantastic privilege of prayer". (apprently the privilege of prayer is not fantastic, it is quite real. I retorted that it was just a figure of speech and that when you say that something is brilliant, it doesnt necessarily mean it it literally shining.)
I also got councilled for saying that the Bible Students showed an"unbelievable level of faith".... (It was believable)
For giving too perfect of an experience on the platform at the Circuit Assembly. (I should have seemed less faithful, so that other kids in the audience could relate to me... The experience was a pig's-trough load of embellished bull$#!+ anyway, lol)
For describing God's "purpose" as a plan in a prayer at the book study.
Yep, i had this one as well... Jehovah doesnt need to plan, he has everything worked out already.
So i asked, "then why is there a book called the Divine Plan of the Ages?"...
The elder said, "how did you know about that book?"...
i said, "umm.. its mentionned in the Proclaimers book"...
he said, "oh, ok, anyway, that term was changed when the Faithful Slave came to a scriptural realisation that Jehovah does not plan anything, he merely purposes. You shouldn't really say that Jehovah 'plans'"...
That got me right confused, lol, i'd never heard the word "purpose" used as a verb... (I purpose to go on holiday this year)
yummby Jehovahs people are the happiest people on earth, you are not reflecting that quality"
Sparks: 11:Telling a householder the Awake! magazines are simular to Readers Digest
LOOOOOOL
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slugga
For having like, 2 hairs on my chin when i was about 16... "You sould shave, its not appropriate to wear a beard in the Kingdom Hall"
I got stopped once on the way out of the hall by an elder who put his hand out, stuck his fingers in my chest and pushed me back inside and then told me to lose the beard because apparently it looked like I had just eaten a cat and all the hair had exploded out of my face.. yeah go figure! -
avishai
For having a Windsor-knot on my tie instead of the normal (imho) trashy Four-in-Hand knot
Yup, the four in hand is for guys that are too lazy to make a nice windsor.
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Gretchen956
okay I haven't read through all of the pages of this, but I have some too.
1. Counseled for saying "petered out" about something tapering off. That was offensive language describing a male's genitalia. Who knew??
2. Counseled for "flirting" with a clown at the world's fair. The clown (gender unknown to the present day) came up and started messing with me. My pioneer-mate, who was with me at the time, turned me in for this, saying she was stumbled and that I was giving a bad witness. We were in a city 150 miles from our hometown at the time.
3. Counseled for kissing a boy (peck on the lips). Did I mention I was in a car with 8 other people in it at the time? Didn't matter, it leads to fornication and we were not engaged.
4. Counseled for wearing inappropriate clothing, but hey it was the 70s and I had nice legs. How short? Well let me just say that we didn't measure up from the knee, we measured down fromt he crotch. That was before I reformed, got baptized, and pioneered.
5. For not showing proper submission to the brothers. I tended to look them right in the eye. Also one of my eyebrows had a low BS meter on it and it tended to lift of its own volition. (sp?)
Actually there were so many times earlier in my teens I can't even remember them all. My cousin and I would hang out, she would talk a good line, but I was never one to not accept a good dare. So she would join me, have a great time and then get all guilty about it and go to the elders. Happened countless times. We were in there so many times it should have had a revolving door. Oh they thought I was sataness. Actually now that I know better the stuff we were up to was pretty tame by today's standards (or then either for that matter).
Sherry
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jeeprube
Counseled for a drunken party at a campground, not because we were drunk, but because I was one month from turning 21.
For aux pioneering and not getting my full 60 hours in. (Pioneering sucks!)
Almost counseled over my wife wearing hot-ass dresses to the meetings......they never had the stones on that one. (I think the elders secretly liked her dresses)
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Funchback
1) For saying to a Circuit Overseer (Br. Conti) while out in field service, heading back to the car: "Who wants to ride shotgun?"
2) For rapping (even though it was a bible-based Rap...LOL) at a JW talent show/gathering. One lunatic brother shouted out in the middle of our (three JW rappers) performance: "Rap music is DEMONIC! Turn it OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!" He freaked out everyone. Then he ran outta the room covering his ears, trembling like he saw a scene in 'The Exorcist'.
3) My friend (Mark) had a bunch of us over his house for the first time. He took us on a tour. The first stop was his bedroom so we could check out his extensive record collection. Me and a sister (Colette) stayed in the room WITH THE DOOR OPEN while the rest of the group continued with the tour and we were sitting on his bed, looking through the crate of albums. The next day, I got a call from Br. Brooker (now deceased elder) asking me if I was in the bed with a sister. I explained to him the situation but, he still said I was wrong. LOL! Oh, and some out, fat, missing-tooth sister who smelled like old tomatoes dimed me out. She minded everyones business. Damn Millie Ross!!! (yeah, I'm naming names).
4) When I was DJing a wedding reception, some idiot Br. Righteousness was offended that I played a song called, "Girls Night Out" by Tyler Collins. It was a song about the ladies getting together and going out to have a good time without any men. The Brother said it can encourage wives to cheat on their husbands.
Ironically, Colette and I are good friends today and we are both proud exJWs!!!
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Funchback
Oops! One more...
5) A sister (JoAnn Wakeling, a former fortune teller) counseled me because I told her that I often win stuffed animals from the Skill Crane (you know, when you put fifty-cents in the machine and you steer the crane to try to pick up the stuffed animals). She said that it is the same as gambling, that it's a game of 'chance'. So, since I could be such a wiseass, I counseled her for watching 'Backdraft', which was a rated-R movie.