new, nowhere to turn, ashamed & afraid

by azzazel 106 Replies latest jw friends

  • PullMyFinger

    Azzazel: Besides religion and support groups -- there are psychotherapists. Maybe what you need right
    now is a therapist who could help you process your feelings and your current life situation. If that's truly
    what you want. I wish you the best.


  • Farkel

    : you sound like you dont know your own soul mommy thats why you say the cruel things you do

    Words don't get much crueler than that.

    "You are all a bunch of heartless jerks, who judge and scapegoat people. You have no hearts and no souls, but PLEASE don't judge me or my motives."



  • cocolocoii

    Hi Azzazel!
    I read your post and I really feel empathy for your situation.
    It is shamefull and painfull to confess to a group of elders what you have done. But it is more painfull when people who you thoght where your friend abandoned you. It is sad to become an object of gossiping.
    I know how you feel!
    The worse is when your own heart condenated you for what you have done.
    Please remember what the bible says: If you come back to me I will come back to you. Live what is bad and I will come back to you.
    Pray to God and ask him for fogiveness, and don't worry anymore about that. Put in your mind that God have already forgave what you have done, and try not to do it again.
    Think about how Jesus showed compasion for other and meditate about God love for humanity.
    Remember that maybe you lost a battle but not the war.

  • Farkel

    :i can see i am unwelcome here,
    : goodbye to you all

    So Azaezel will be a LurkerNoMore, huh?. I was just beginning to enjoy having the NewGuy around, but I guess she wants to be a Nobody.

    Seen This Kind of Troll Before, Class

  • messenger

    con, sham, and a trick, if you are real I am a member of the governing body. No one so vunerable could attack so many so well. I think you are not who you pretend to be and get some type of thrill engageing so much conversation.

  • Mommie Dark
    Mommie Dark

    I was going to keep my trap shut at this obvious bit of trolling, since folks are always telling me how mean and suspicious etc. I am, but since some really decent folks, including some wimminz, have expressed similar views, I'm sayin' my bit too.

    Those of you have read my articles at Free Minds and those who know me are fully aware that I was left destitute with a baby and one on the way when their father was killed in an accident. I lived in communal situations, with relatives, and in the cheapest roachbag apartments. I survived on welfare intil the Social Security survivors' insurance started. When my boys started school, I started work. We had food stamps and medical assistance for most of the thirteen years I spent as a single parent. I didn't make excuses for our poverty or for the lifestyle we created within it. I walked to the bank, grocery store, clinic, park, and welfare office, carrying the little baby in a papoose carrier, pushing the bigger babe in a buggy big enough to hold him and a sack of groceries.

    The point is that your crying 'don't judge me till you've been there' is pure rationalization. Lots of women right here on this forum have raised little ones successfully, alone, without resorting to turning tricks. It's your choice. personally, if I was going to sell myself it would NOT be in short-term rentals as you described. Especially if I was as pretty as you claim to be...but if I HAD chosen that route to support us, I darn sure would not be crying to a bunch of strangers that it isn't fair to judge me for my chosen road.

    the troll smell is a bit too strong, I feel nauseated...

  • Tina

    Hiyas MD,
    Yep Im another did it alone for yrs and yrs too.
    Yanno what I find interesting here? The first block of poeple mentioned are the exact same people who came down hard on 'bad associate' in the chat room recently.....nice try at trollin BA
    ANyway((((((((((MD))))))))))))been thinkin about ya,T

  • WhyNow2000

    Many people here tried to be sensitive to your current state of mind -

    very commendable. I, like you, have been lurking here for quite long

    time before deciding to join. Most of the people that you decided to

    put them on a black list (such as mommy & farkel ) are the very

    people that were catalyst to me joining the DB.

    Many people left the organization because they were not allowed to

    express their PERSONAL view on things. Now that they do, you label. A

    label that you are not willing to wear. Yes, sympathy has it’s

    limit. I am sorry the situation that you are in. But at the end of

    the day, you are responsible for your life. A replay for your plea

    for support is a privilege, not a right. So please stop belittling

    their sympathy.

    Hey ianao

    I agree.

  • SixofNine

    It does show, though, just how quick we are to believe, eh?

    If we could believe this person, why wouldn't we believe that 12 men in Brooklyn speak for God?

    Oh yeah, we did.

    I think there is a strong family relationship between Urban legends, trolls with stories, prophets like MDS, You Know, and their ilk, "holy" writings in general, hystory as myth, and the Bible.

  • Big Jim
    Big Jim

    I posted for the first time yesterday under the topic meet new friends if you read my story you will find that I was forced out of my home at the age of sixteen because I did not want to be in the non-truth.
    I lived as a homeless person for four plus years, I did some things back then that I thought I would never get over or out of my mind.

    In was wrong because I am 40 now, I am married with four children and I also own my own business.

    What I had to do is to not be so hard on myself and realize I did all that I knew to do at that time to make it.

    The most important thing is to use whatever you are doing as a stepping stone to put yourself where you would really like to be.

    I have never understood the concept that there is different levels of wrong when it comes to morality.

    An example is this, what is the difference between watching a movie where a man and woman are acting like they are having sex, say a R rated movie then watching a porno film where they are having sex.

    My point is that wrong is wrong and right is right there is no levels of either. So do not be so hard on youself do what you feel you need to do then move ahead.


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