All funds donated are fully refundable for 30 days. We still intend to go to the Northeast and press charges, and we have already begun our dialogue with the prosecutors up North, toward that goal. If any who have donated feel that they wish to rescind their donation, they are welcome to do so, with no hard feelings on our part.
Let me respond to Bill's comments:
Plan to be at Pierpopint Place and Columbia Heights at around on 1:30 PM on the 27thof Septtember, 2002.
First of all, this it too late in the day on a Friday to be doing this in a business district of New York. It would be much more effective to do this earlier. This is just an aside, but this point was brought up by a friend who was a long-time Bethel resident.
We will proceed in an orderly fashion to 25 Columbia Heights . This march is not about anger, it is not about other issues you may be upset about, it is about protecting children and supporting abuse survivors.
My children, abuse survivors, hit the roof on this one. You don't tell survivors of abuse how to act! You don't tell them to be orderly, to keep up appearances. Control is what ABUSE is all about! This is 100% about anger, and to pretend that it is not betrays a lack of understanding of human psychology, and of the need of people who have been abused to express themselves in whatever way they need to. A therapist would never tell you to be orderly, or that it is not about anger. C'mon!! Psych 101, people! Recovery begins with the ability to express yourself without being controlled! Isn't that obvious? Who's agenda is this? Ask the survivors of abuse. They will tell you that they don't need to be told what to do. Ask my kids, if you want. I will give you my phone number.
Confronting an abusive parent is messy, disorganized and sometimes ugly. What matters is that it be unfettered and honest. We are confronting our abusive "mother." To pretend that we even *could* control that is naive.
I prefer that all banners and posters support this theme. We are united for one cause. Some have stated they wish to express other agendas at the march, I feel this is not appropriate. What if you were an active witness whose child had been molested, would it be fair to them to express views that may be offensive? To reach out to all and keep the focus we have to be neutral on doctrinal issues. Silentlambs is about support of ALL, not any certain side of doctrinal issues.
Again, we are being controlled and told what is 'appropriate' and what may be 'offensive' or 'fair'. What is appropriate and fair is that survivors of abuse be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they need to. This is about them, right?
Pretending to be doctrinally neutral when we are demonstrating against the group in front of the media is a farce. Our very presence there is an affront to all the JW's claim to be true. Let's be serious.
hen we arrive at 25 Columbia Heights, we will first have a program in which abuse survivors will be asked to make a brief 60 second comment for whoever wants to speak. I will introduce different ones after the opening comments...We will then conclude with closing comments by those who wish to speak and I will conclude the program.
Do you really think it is ok to even insinuate that you are going to limit someone who has suffered years of sexual assault to 60 seconds of time? Would they do that in group therapy? In front of a psychologist? A court? What is with the control thing, again?
I could go on. Let me be clear:
1. I like and support Bowen. I have done more with him than many of you will ever know.
2. I believe that Bill, like all of us, has areas to grow in. I think he may still have a bit of elderitis and a lack of exposure to psychotherapy. He should listen to those of us who have had a lot of exposure to the mental health industry and to the needs of victims.
3. My children made it clear to me that they would love to be in the march, but that they are not comfortable being in an environment where they feel as though they would be judged for expressing themselves however they feel they need to.
4. Bill should know all of this. He could not have predicted how things were going to go when he disrupted the meeting when his disfellowshipping was to be announced. He peeled out in his truck as he left the Kingdom Hall. Jesus tipped the tables and made a rope of whips to clean out the temple, right? So, why is Bill asking of us what he and even Jesus rejected? All victims of abuse need to react in whatever way they feel they need to. Anger can be quite appropriate.
(Perhaps because Bill has not confronted his own parents yet about the videotape they helped to make about him, he is not at the point yet in his own recovery where he sees the value of confrontation. I don't know, this is just speculation on my part. But it underscores that we all have our own journey to make, and we should not be controlling others based on where we are on our path.)
Any situation where a crowd of abused people confronts their oppressor is going to be messy, and rightly so. Pretending it even *can* be controlled is foolish. Thinking that it *should* be controlled betrays a lack of understanding of how human beings work. There will be adrenaline, there will be tears. There will be every color of the emotional rainbow. Embrace it all. However things unfurl, messy or not, it will be perfect as it is, if it is the product of free expression.
Do no harm to others should be the only mandate.
The worst thing you can do to a victim of abuse is to tell them how to feel, how to act. Recovery is about freedom of thought and action, it is about not being silenced or controlled any more.
I heartily support the path of all survivors of abuse. But, the silentlambs march, as outlined by Bill, I cannot endorse. I hope that Bill will not see this as a personal attack, but that is something that *I* cannot control. I did discuss this with him privately, and we agreed to disagree.
No, we shall NOT 'watch how we walk.' NOR SHOULD WE.