We shall NOT watch how we walk

by mikepence 109 Replies latest jw friends

  • Liberated
    Liberated

    Abuser = someone who has lost SELF-control

    As an abuse survivor, I want self-control; and I want others to have self-control. I don't want to get 'out of hand' and I am extremely uncomfortable with those who lose their self-control. Bill Bowen is not asking for anything unreasonable. He knows, and it seems everyone here does too, that a peaceful march will be an effective march. There will be more than the media watching; the victim's statements are just too important to lose them in rash and uncontrolled behavior. They need to be heard, not drowned out.

    writerpen: I agree with your excellent illustration. After all, I don't think Mike would want the sort of demonstration he is talking about to take place at the courthouse while he is having his case heard.

    Libby

  • Cassiline
    Cassiline

    Mike

    Your responses to Bill's comments are questionable. Considering the FACT that Bill posted just about everything you replied to in the invitation to the March. The original post, posted on JULY 7th stated just about everything you try to refute in answers to Bill. Page one of this thread you started. Refer to Bills post of July 7th below your post. I find it hard to believe that this just became a problem when its been public knowledge for a month and a half!

    Numbers in your post and Bill's mine.

    mikepence
    Master Member
    United States of America
    Posts: 437
    Since: May 31, 2001
    Re: We shall NOT watch how we walkAug 20, 2002 15:02

    All funds donated are fully refundable for 30 days. We still intend to go to the Northeast and press charges, and we have already begun our dialogue with the prosecutors up North, toward that goal. If any who have donated feel that they wish to rescind their donation, they are welcome to do so, with no hard feelings on our part.

    Let me respond to Bill's comments:

    (1)

    Plan to be at Pierpopint Place and Columbia Heights at around on 1:30 PM on the 27thof Septtember, 2002.

    First of all, this it too late in the day on a Friday to be doing this in a business district of New York. It would be much more effective to do this earlier. This is just an aside, but this point was brought up by a friend who was a long-time Bethel resident.

    (2)

    We will proceed in an orderly fashion to 25 Columbia Heights . This march is not about anger, it is not about other issues you may be upset about, it is about protecting children and supporting abuse survivors.

    My children, abuse survivors, hit the roof on this one. You don't tell survivors of abuse how to act! You don't tell them to be orderly, to keep up appearances. Control is what ABUSE is all about! This is 100% about anger, and to pretend that it is not betrays a lack of understanding of human psychology, and of the need of people who have been abused to express themselves in whatever way they need to. A therapist would never tell you to be orderly, or that it is not about anger. C'mon!! Psych 101, people! Recovery begins with the ability to express yourself without being controlled! Isn't that obvious? Who's agenda is this? Ask the survivors of abuse. They will tell you that they don't need to be told what to do. Ask my kids, if you want. I will give you my phone number.

    Confronting an abusive parent is messy, disorganized and sometimes ugly. What matters is that it be unfettered and honest. We are confronting our abusive "mother." To pretend that we even *could* control that is naive.

    I prefer that all banners and posters support this theme. We are united for one cause. Some have stated they wish to express other agendas at the march, I feel this is not appropriate. What if you were an active witness whose child had been molested, would it be fair to them to express views that may be offensive? To reach out to all and keep the focus we have to be neutral on doctrinal issues. Silentlambs is about support of ALL, not any certain side of doctrinal issues.

    Again, we are being controlled and told what is 'appropriate' and what may be 'offensive' or 'fair'. What is appropriate and fair is that survivors of abuse be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they need to. This is about them, right?

    Pretending to be doctrinally neutral when we are demonstrating against the group in front of the media is a farce. Our very presence there is an affront to all the JW's claim to be true. Let's be serious.

    (3)

    hen we arrive at 25 Columbia Heights, we will first have a program in which abuse survivors will be asked to make a brief 60 second comment for whoever wants to speak. I will introduce different ones after the opening comments...We will then conclude with closing comments by those who wish to speak and I will conclude the program.

    Do you really think it is ok to even insinuate that you are going to limit someone who has suffered years of sexual assault to 60 seconds of time? Would they do that in group therapy? In front of a psychologist? A court? What is with the control thing, again?

    I could go on. Let me be clear:

    1. I like and support Bowen. I have done more with him than many of you will ever know.

    2. I believe that Bill, like all of us, has areas to grow in. I think he may still have a bit of elderitis and a lack of exposure to psychotherapy. He should listen to those of us who have had a lot of exposure to the mental health industry and to the needs of victims.

    3. My children made it clear to me that they would love to be in the march, but that they are not comfortable being in an environment where they feel as though they would be judged for expressing themselves however they feel they need to.

    4. Bill should know all of this. He could not have predicted how things were going to go when he disrupted the meeting when his disfellowshipping was to be announced. He peeled out in his truck as he left the Kingdom Hall. Jesus tipped the tables and made a rope of whips to clean out the temple, right? So, why is Bill asking of us what he and even Jesus rejected? All victims of abuse need to react in whatever way they feel they need to. Anger can be quite appropriate.

    (Perhaps because Bill has not confronted his own parents yet about the videotape they helped to make about him, he is not at the point yet in his own recovery where he sees the value of confrontation. I don't know, this is just speculation on my part. But it underscores that we all have our own journey to make, and we should not be controlling others based on where we are on our path.)

    Any situation where a crowd of abused people confronts their oppressor is going to be messy, and rightly so. Pretending it even *can* be controlled is foolish. Thinking that it *should* be controlled betrays a lack of understanding of how human beings work. There will be adrenaline, there will be tears. There will be every color of the emotional rainbow. Embrace it all. However things unfurl, messy or not, it will be perfect as it is, if it is the product of free expression.

    Do no harm to others should be the only mandate.

    The worst thing you can do to a victim of abuse is to tell them how to feel, how to act. Recovery is about freedom of thought and action, it is about not being silenced or controlled any more.

    I heartily support the path of all survivors of abuse. But, the silentlambs march, as outlined by Bill, I cannot endorse. I hope that Bill will not see this as a personal attack, but that is something that *I* cannot control. I did discuss this with him privately, and we agreed to disagree.

    No, we shall NOT 'watch how we walk.' NOR SHOULD WE.

    Mike Pence

    All Are Invited to Attend

    SILENTLAMBS

    ABUSE SURVIVORS

    MARCH

    BROOKLYN, NEW YORK

    Help Jehovahs Witnesses see the importance of protecting children.

    September 27, 2002

    2:00 P. M. (1)

    Pierpoint Place&Columbia Heights

    For further information see:

    www.silentlambs.org

    877-WTABUSE

    You Are Invited to a silentlambs March in Brooklyn New York

    On September 27, 2002 we are asking for survivors and supporters of those who have suffered abuse within the Jehovahs Witness community come together for a (2)peaceful march in Brooklny, New York.

    WHY ATTEND?

    At silentlambs we care about children, in addition, we wish to let abuse survivors know that are not alone and have our support. This will be a united statement to the Watchtower organization that they must change policy to protect our children. Also, if you can serve as an eye-witness it is another way to take a stand for righteousness in behalf of all silentlambs.

    WHO MAY COME?

    EVERYONE! At silentlambs we practice "don't ask don't tell" when we gather for important events. We do not care if you are DF, DA, or what you may personally hold as belief. We ask that all simply support those who were abused as Jehovahs Witnesses without prejudice as to standing in the organization. If you plan to attend please email and let us know how many are in your group to help us to know beforehand how large a group will be there so we may plan accordingly.

    WHERE:

    (2)The march will start on the west side of Pierpoint Place and Columbia Heights we will then walk about seven blocks to our destination 25 Columbia Heights.

    WHAT WILL WE DO?

    (3)When we arrive, those who wish as time allows,(3) may make a sixty second statement on how their lives have been affected by abuse within the Jehovah's Witness organization. All are invited to bring a stuffed lamb for each Jehovah's Witness victim of abuse they know to leave as a symbolic gesture of how many have been hurt by Watchtower Policy.

    EYE WITNESSES:

    If you wish to serve as an eye-witness regarding how the Governing Body has allowed Watchtower Policy to hurt children, you are invited to come forward. Please email your name, address, and telephone to Bill Bowen at [email protected] . Whatever your status regarding the organization you have the right to serve as an eye-witness. Read enclosed letter to the Governing Body for further explanation. Please bring any written documentation such as Watchtower correspondence along with your first hand experience of what happened to you or your family when abuse problems arose.(3) Please be willing to explain how you were hurt by Watchtower Policy.

    TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS:

    We have obtained discount hotel and rental car discounts if you wish to attend and spend the night. Please email at [email protected] and let us know how many in your group are planning to attend and we will provide you with a list of accommodations to choose from and how to make arrangements. You can also arrange air travel through www.travelocity.com

    TRAVEL FUND:

    If you wish to assist abuse survivors to attend who are financially unable, we are setting aside a special silentlambs travel fund. I am contributing the first $100 to help those who may not be able to afford travel expenses. Your assistance will determine how many we can assistance to be there.

    If you need financial assistance to attend, please email as [email protected] Please send your name address and telephone as well as a brief description of what assistance you need in order to participate in the silentlambs march.

    WHY COME?

    I think it is best described by poem that was posted on my guestbook, it goes as follows:

    It's not enough to have a dream unless I'm willing to pursue it...

    It's not enough to know what's right unless I'm strong enough to do it...

    It's not enough to join a crowd, to be acknowledged and accepted...

    I must be true to my ideals, even if I'm left out and rejected...

    It's not enough to learn the truth unless I also learn to live it...

    It's no enough to reach for love unless I care enough to give it...

    In conclusion, it is an honor to be associated with those who speak and take a stand for what is right. Your efforts to attend will make a difference. Abuse survivors are the real heroes of silentlambs, with hearts like a lion and courage like David, their actions protect children they wilever know. Our united efforts will protect children who have yet to be born.

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Letter:

    6-6-02

    Service Committee/Service Department

    c/o Watchtower

    25 Columbia Heights

    Brooklyn, NY 11201

    Dear brothers,

    I am writing to address a serious matter involving the Governing Body of Jehovahs Witnesses. The basis of this letter is found in the scriptures at Galatians 2:11-14. In those verses it describes the occasion when Paul confronted Peter for wrongdoing. The humble reaction of Peter not only showed his repentance but his willingness to follow theocratic direction.

    It is interesting to note in a recent letter dated February 7, 2002, this position was reiterated by the head of the Department of Public Information, J. R. Brown. Therein Brother Brown states, "Our Governing Body is willing to resolve differences of opinion within the framework of the congregation and according to Scriptural principles." This is a welcome affirmation of how an organization directed by Gods spirit should operate. No one is above Gods law, even as Peter who walked with Christ did not consider himself above reproof from a fellow elder when he became involved in wrongdoing.

    Wrongdoing is a serious matter within Gods organization. By the directions we are offered, no one is above the directives offered by His organization and anyone who knows of serious wrongdoing and does not report it would in effect, share in the sin thus making them subject to a similar judgment for not reporting the matter. To provide the basis for this opinion I refer to the 1985 Watchtower where it makes this statement:

    *** w85 11/15 21-2 Do Not Share in the Sins of Others *** Elders must also be alert not to protect one another or ministerial servants if one of them has committed a serious sin that could result in disfellowshipping. They should follow the principle outlined by Paul, who wrote: Never lay your hands hastily upon any man ; neither be a sharer in the sins of others; preserve yourself chaste.1 Timothy 5:22.

    Today I write this letter as a fellow elder and Jehovahs Witness in good standing. Why do I make that statement? In December of the year 2000 I made public my decision to resign as an elder in protest of Watchtower Policy regarding how child molestation was handled in the Christian congregation. While on December 31, of that year the Circuit Overseer informed me that he accepted my resignation, yet to date, no announcement to the congregation has been made in that regard. By protocol within the organization it would appear as a result I remain an elder until that announcement is made. Please refer to the letter to All Bodies of Elders where it states:

    Page-2

    "An announcement of deletion should be made to the congregation afteeceiving from the Society the returned S-2 form or an S-52 letter indicating that the recommendation has been approved. In such a case, the brother should be informed of his deletion before the announcement is made."

    So according to this information the deletion does not take effect until the announcement is read to the local congregation and I am informed of it being given, thus it appears that along with being a Jehovahs Witness in good standing I also remain an elder. It is true this is a loophole but you might compare it to the loophole used by Watchtower Legal to avoid reporting child molestation in 33 States. As they use their loophole to protect the image of the organization, I use my loophole to try and protect children.

    Therefore with the above thoughts in mind I as a Jehovah's Witness and fellow elder wish to make the following charges against the Governing Body of Jehovahs Witnesses:

    1. Apostasy-The Governing body has taken action against the true worship of Jehovah and the established order among his dedicated people (Jer.17:13; 23:15; 28.15,16 ; 2 Thess. 2: 9,10) They have deliberately spread and stubbornly held to teachings contrary to Bible truth in the establishment of an organizational Policy that hurts children.

    2. Loose Conduct-The Governing Body has shown a. disregard for theocratic order in their failure to protect the flock. ( Gal. 5:19:2 Pet. 2:7; w83 3/15 p.31; w73 9115 pp, 574-6; it-2 p. 264 )

    3. Causing Divisions-The Governing Body has committed deliberate action to disrupt the unity of the congregation and undermined the confidence of the brothers in Jehovah's arrangement by their inaction on matters concerning child abuse and battered women. ( Rom. , 18; Titus 3: 10,11 )

    The actions of the Governing Body in establishing Watchtower Policy with regard to how child molestation is handled in the Christian Congregation at the direction of the Service Department, Legal Department, District Overseers, Circuit Overseers, and local elders, has bro God's law and destroyed the lives of many faithful brothers and sisters.

    Therefore I formerly request to resolve this matter within the framework of the congregation and according to Scriptural principles, by calling for a judicial committee to be convened in Brooklyn, New York on September 27, 2002 of three impartial elders who are spiritual men with no fear for standing up foighteousness, I will bring several hundred eye-witnesses who will provide extensive evidence in the form of written documentation, personal experience, and eye-witness testimony, to accuse the Governing

    Page-3

    Body that by their policy on child molestation they are guilty of racketeering, witness tampering, conduct unbecoming a Christian and crimes against children.

    It is my hope the judicial committee will be able to find acts of repentance commensurate with their wrongdoing committed against children. If so then Public Reproof will help the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses to know the Governing Body has become truly repentant humble men and will act in the best interests of Jehovah's Witness children. On the other hand if proper works of commensurate repentance cannot be found or if they try to minimize the wrong, the Governing Body should be disf'ellowshipped and not reinstated until they take responsibility for their actions.

    The date has been set months in advance to give the Governing Body time to make appropriate arrangements to be present as well as prepare for their defense and also to give the witnesses against them sufficient time to make travel arrangements.

    It is my optimism the Governing Body much like the Apostle Peter, will humbly address these matters in the best interests of the entire organization so as to bring God's blessing and holy spirit in full flow upon his people. I offer you ten days from the date of this letter to respond in a timely manner, along with this letter goes my warm Christian love.

    Very truly yours,

    William H. Bowen on behalf of

    Silentlambs, inc.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=31648&site=3

  • SYN
    SYN

    Mikepence, I've seen your work on the new Silentlambs website. Why the sudden about-face? This is causing me some consternation - I'd always figured you to be one of the people who'd be at the front lines of the protestors in a march like this.

    Why do you want teargas? Do you want to make the Jehovah's Witnesses feel vindicated? If you were a Dub, then you'll know that that's exactly what their response will be: "Look at those evil Apostates, look at how Satan is possessing them!" Needless to say, that will not be good for the Silentlambs cause.

    Also, with the current heightened sensitivity to any and all acts of violence in that particular corner of the world, barely more than a few miles away from a place where thousands died very recently, you want to stage a chaotic march? That is a recipe for disaster!!!

    Also, if I read Simon's post correctly, you used the phrase "worldly people". Um. Personally, I find that deeply insulting.

    Fight for the children, Mike, yours and others! Bill didn't create those guidelines in order to suffocate your freedoms - he asked for people to show restraint, so as to help convince more potential Silentlambs to see that these people were not there as envoys of Satan, just as people who had been hurt and wanted justice.

    Is that so hard?

  • Hyghlandyr
    Hyghlandyr

    Cassiline you really are the Goddess of Pasts Posts. That is what I am going to call you when we have our deification ceremonies in our temple. You go lass...kick ass!

    Any question that Mike didnt know about these dates is clearly removed. Frankly I am not thinking he collected the funds with devious motives. But I do think that he is being petty. No control? We are all controlled to one degree or another. I prefer Bill to "control" me by following his guidelines which are entirely reasonable, than to be controlled by a jail cell for throwing tear gas..as I said before WTFever. Or to be controlled by fear of DFing. Etc.

  • MegaDude
    MegaDude

    Mike,

    The cheap shot was when you posted your original silly post about Bowen's rules for his march AND in the same post mentioned NOTHING about the money you BEGGED for.

  • Ranchette
    Ranchette

    Mike,

    My heart goes out to you and you family. I know you have been through a lot and continue to suffer shock pain and anger from it all. Emotions are just naturally high right now.

    I am just asking that you please reconsider your decision. I am afraid you will always look back on this and wish you had not let emotions get in the way of this event.

    Bills has no desire to control anyone. He just made suggestions that were in his opinion the best for everyone involved.
    Its okay to disagree but please dont let it rob you of the experience
    .
    I am really looking forward to meeting you and your family in New York.

    We will show up, we will show anger and other emotions but we wont be stupid.
    We are not here to control you or your family. We are here to help you.
    Please understand this. Please help your children understand this.

    With Love,
    Sheila Bowen

    Edited by - Ranchette1 on 20 August 2002 23:53:11

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    I'm really saddened by this turn of events. I do hope that NO ONE will disrupt this PEACEFUL protest. Don't let it turn into the types of activity that the defrocked Orthodox priest and his followers are engaging in, in the Republic of Russia. Radical activity like burning Watchtower literature and Kingdom Halls, beating up people, etc. can only turn world opinion against their perpetrators. Gandhi taught us the way of successful protests: they are always peaceful. If you recall history, he brought an Empire to its knees.

  • ISP
    ISP
  • Mister 8iggs
    Mister 8iggs

    Mike-

    I've known you a very long time. I don't know how to react. I love you and your family and I truly like and respect most of the folks on this forum.

    Can't we all stop the bickering? Mike, I understand your point of view...I really do...but when you read between the lines (and the anger and frustration), people have some valid points of concern.

    We are on the same side. Bill is the organizer of this march and if we want to be a part of the march, we need to respect his way of organizing the event. If one chooses to disagree with Bill's preferences, then one has the right to choose no to be a part of the march. You have that right, Mike.

    The problem (or anger or disappointment) that people have with/toward you is that money was involved. They feel scammed or cheated when you don't use the money for what they contributed it for. I know you have a good reputation and I know you are not a scam artist. It's good that people have the option to rescind their donation. But...

    As a friend, I want to offer a solution, or a resolution. Please...PLEASE...reconsider coming to the march. Get to meet with some of these poster's face-to-face. Perhaps there are some special friendship's to be found at this march. You may meet a friend for a lifetime! Give it a chance doing it Bill's way. Who knows? Maybe it will be therapeutic for you and your family. Please don't assume the worst, Mike. If the march doesn't accomplish much, at least it exposes the Watchtower. At least consider coming. I believe that if you go to the march, people will regain some respect and admiration for you as a person and for the causes that you fight for!

    Let's get along. Let's unite. let's make this event happen: Together, peacfully, and in unity.

    I have much love for you, Mike. I have much respect for most of you poster's. Do the honorable thing, Mike. Go to the march...You, Ryan, Becca, and Denise.

  • You Know
    You Know

    Let's get along. Let's unite. let's make this event happen: Together, peacfully, and in unity.

    LOL. This is hilarious. Sort of reminds me of Rodney King's famous "People, can't we all just get along" plea while they were burning L.A.down. I could really let you guys have it with some well-deserved ridicule, but I am gonna give you a break. / You Know

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