Stuckinarut2, my wish for you is that you be kind to yourself about this.
You did not fail anything.
You did not take a step in a wrong direction.
Youre fine.
Honestly? I think the harder it is to disentangle is just a reflection of how very much one honors ones vows and commitments.
I am an extremely loyal person and turning my back and walking away is so very hard.
Because of that I feel a lot of empathy for you and your situation.
Its only 31 days out of the big picture and who knows?
Things will probably happen in that time that will make your way even clearer.