PEER PRESSURE!!! I gave in to Pioneering during August...I feel dirty...

by stuckinarut2 90 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Odyssey

    Hi Brainfloss -

    I was known as Stirred, but have not been able to log in for a long time. I unded up having to register again with a new name - Odyssey. I think it is fitting me better now anyway.

    I wanted to get back to your two definitions above. IMO, most witnesses have very strong personal integrity but have been deluded and perhaps so entrenched in their routines that it is difficult for them to see above the hedge so to speak. If one is not computer literate, internet savy....and I know many who really are not....and you have hardly any downtime due to all the work/meeting/life/service commitments, it is hard to even have time to investigate ones thoughts. However, most live by strong code of telling the truth, being honest, the best of their human ability.

    I would question those in power however. I'm just in awe at the speed of changes and the attention the GB now seems to relish and are feeding down to the leadership at all levels. I never have P or AP as I did not like the coercion, attention, name. Now the authorities are creating every greater division and casting.....that to me is laking integrity. The old ways are so easily discarded and now we are expected to get behind this new zeal for an organizational name, its leadership and not question anything about the changes.

    Those that are awaking perhaps you can consider them to have less integrity because they don't stand up and call a spade a spade. I am feeling ever more uncomfortable in my skin as I am still viewed by my community, friends, and most of my family that I'm a JW. I haven't taken the step to DA but am in active now for several months. I will not preach this "new light" or anything else right now and feel averse to even the idea of it.

    So I guess, I am the type you speak of that has weak or no integrity. I'm in gel state....became lacking in firm convictions and am finding my stand. Many on this site have encouraged that we do not DA ourselves...not to give a nod to authorities. I get that to a point but I don't feel right with myself. I want to be free to be me - to voice my questions and reasonings. I know that the ramifications could be very hard and that is what is holding me back.

    I think we all cling to some sort of "new" normal and relative truth. Perhaps that is integrity for the individual but not interpersonally acceptable for some. I think the greater concern to me is organizational integrity as I still like to give some benefit of the doubt to the individuals I know. I do believe I have grown to be more sceptical and am try not to become a pessimist.


    Odyssey (formerly Stirred)

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