I am signing off....

by Cagefighter 98 Replies latest jw friends

  • free @ last
    free @ last

    I felt the same as you for a long time Wannaexit, especially since my family was such a model JW family in the circuit -you know - huge family 'everyone in the truth.' Who in their right mind would want to reck their family's image and cause such a blow to their parents pride (especially when you love that parent and they are especially loving themselves)?

    I then felt more like you do Cage so I came out to my family a few years ago and cut ties with the JWs. Great for you that you set up reasonable boundaries with your folks. It is a waste of a short life to be in a cult but believe me it can be just as much of a waste of a life to be on the outside of one. It all depends on how one chooses to spend their time on the inside or out. Each person gets to weigh the pros and cons of leaving in their own personal circumstances and decide what's best for them at that point in time. It's a waste of emotional energy to get that wrapped up in or frustrated with other peoples decisions.

    -Free

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    So .. someone has elderly parents.. still in... a spouse.. still in... grown up children.. still in... grandchildren being brought up in.... lifelong friends all in...

    and few friends on the outside.....

    What happens when you suddenly leave? Maybe send in a DA letter? You break your elderly parent's hearts (they believe you will die at Armageddon)... your spouse decides to leave you... your children shun you... you never see your grandchildren grow up... your lifelong friends also shun you... What a price to pay!! Many have paid that price and suffer for it but it doesn't mean that all of us want the same thing. Some can't stomach staying and I totally understand that... some, like me, can't bear the thought of losing their loved ones and so stay, they suffer too in a different way.

    What's that about wasting time with someone you love? If those of us that are trapped have so much to lose why even suggest it? I wouldn't even know where or how to begin again. After decades of marriage would I even want to or be able to? All I can see ahead of me is very lonely life. Maybe for me being trapped in this religion is the price to pay.

    Does that mean I can't even come here and let off some steam once a while (I don't do it often)... it helps me keep my sanity. If it upsets others to read it then why bother reading it? I thought this was a place where anyone can come whatever stage they're at in their exit strategy. Many of us have only left mentally and emotionally but are still there physically going through the motions. Sure it's tough, and I want to scream sometimes but thankfully there are many on this board who have left completely that are there to give support and without judging. Everybody's story is a different one and we all react differently. I'm just glad that not everyone here thinks like that because otherwise we really would be trapped and with nowhere to go.

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    Cage,

    Could be a shadow projection that makes you feel that way. A part of your repessesd self projected on to posters. In that case it may require some scrutiny to spot it.

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    Cage: thank you for your thoughts but I would like to address a few things you said to me.

    On your deathbed you will not be able to bargain for one more minute you wasted in field service at the meeting and assemblies. You are correct. On my deathbed I will have some regrets of times in my life that I wasted. You will too and so will everyone else on this earth.

    Your parents have had their life and made their choices.Unfortunately my parents got sucked into this cult. They were simple immigrants who ended up investing their whole life in the organization. Its sad! However, I can't change that now. What I will NEVER DO is fault them for doing that they thought was best for themselves and their children.

    What about you? When I started to figure things out, the first thing was educate myself. I got in contact with Ray Franz, visited with Andersons, dialouged with Tom Cabeen and read everything I could get my hands on. Once I became intrinsically sound, then I made the choice to ease out of my "amost 20 years of pioneering". I made the choice to go back to school ( in my forties). I got a degree and landed an amazing job. I also made the choice to instill in my kids the value of an education and sent them off to university. So please don't feel sorry for me.

    It's laughable for you to tell me I have so much to learn. This was a reactive response to your generalized blanket statement that : this board is full of more people trying to stay in the org rather than leave it. I have no interest in keeping that kind of company. If you are trying to set your own" personal boundary" why do you have to announce it to the rest of the forum? Take your leave and be done with it. You appear to be an intelligent person- why make a comment that will generate incendiary responses?

    Do you know how much I treasure [relationship with parents] the real relationship I have with them now? No you don't because you have never tried? I take umbrage to this statement. In reality we don't know each other. You can't begin to judge my relationship with my parents. Love and respect are important ingredients in any relationship, especially in the parent-child situation. I know that my parents would accept me even if I left with a "bang". But I also know it would cause them a great deal of pain grief . I CHOOSE not be the instrument for their pain and grief. At 83 and 76 my parents days are numbered.

    So I go along with the status quo. I go to meeting (not all ) I go out saturday in service (spent in coffee shop)It's not a perfect situation--but it's doable for me.

    I don't think I am doing anything than validating ( and now arguing with) their indecision and watching them waste their own lives. Really Cage, I don't feel my life is wasted. Unfortunately the Jw experience is something that is not easily shed. You and I and everyone else who has had the pleasure or better displeasure of being acquainted with this cult, will carry it till the day we die.

    I am trying to make lemonade with the lemons I've been given. Everyone deals with it differently. Please don't feel sorry for me. I am a big girl. Maybe even a princess once in a while

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    Tornapart: I appreciate your comments and respect your honesty. and I also appreciate cagefighter's feelings.

  • moshe
    moshe
    @elderlite- Rotfl!!!!! Poor cage.... Still caught up in dubbie definisions of "right" and "wrong", as if they are absolutes when it comes to a silly apocaliptic religion.

    I am with CF here, in that I do see some moral issues that honorable folks should strive to attain. . It is only by using subterfuge that some people have avoided judgment day for their deceptions. - it's not a silly religion , if it controls your life by turning you into a doormat for the JWs or worse yet- a judas goat elder, leading the sheep to follow that "silly" apocalyptic WT religion that wastes their time , takes their money, ruins their future and could cost them or their children their life at the hospital--

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    Cagey:

    I am not dealing with your rejection very well.

    (trying the guilt angle)

    I did nothing wrong! Im out!

    What about me!

    whos to say Wannaexit isnt doing the best thing for her, and what does that have to do with you.

    I COULD NEVER DO THAT MYSELF. Those people whos DNA I inhertied are not worth lying and dying inside. But thats me.

  • BlindersOff1
    BlindersOff1

    Many on this board feel the smart way to battle the borg is from the inside .

    Sort of a Sun Tzu type logic .

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    BlindersOff1 said: Many on this board feel the smart way to battle the borg is from the inside .

    Well said! From personal experience- I have 3 friends that have discovered the wizard behind the curtain. They are still in- with a little less cognitive dissonance

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