She refused to Return His Calls After a First Date, Then in Rage, He Rants Out, Very Revealing

by Scott77 254 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  talesin

  Ah, after such a relaxing evening, it's nice to come on the DB and get my daily dose of crazy.

  Gavin DeBecker knows his stuff, and Scott77, you are right - DeBecker lectures about listening to your gut. He likens it to an animal in the forest, sensing something is wrong. The animal doesn't stick around and question its instincts. It gets the puck out of there. (excellent reference, mrsjones)

  The guy writing the letter is obviously a bunny-boiler.

  "you said it was nice to meet me" "you flicked your hair" "I've texted and called you repeatedly, and still you ignore me"

  He went from poor guy to plausibe psycho in zero - 60 ...

  
• 

  King Solomon

  The point of dating is to determine compatibility as quickly as possible, and not waste each other's time. People who disqualify themselves, or reject you, do both parties a favor: both can move on to find others who are more compatible. It doesn't matter WHY they reject: just that they DID.

  This guy doesn't get it, and since he is convinced he already knows it all, he wouldn't accept whatever Lauren told him, and would probably in essence argue against (discount) her feelings, telling her what she feels is incorrect. That MAY work with some women, but not a women who's on the ball, self-actualized.

  She's wise not to waste more energy on teaching a fool what he wouldn't want to learn, when after only a single DATE? It's not her job....
• 

  ziddina

  sigh.....

  I can understand the issues many women have with this sort of man.

  However, I've NEVER had such a problem.

  My parents and the cult TRIED to turn me into a submissive, compliant female - which causes damage that CAN lead to giving off what COULD be mis-read as "mixed messages"...

  But I've always been VERY efficient at getting my displeasure and anger across. If I don't like someone, they KNOW it - FAST!!!

  In fact, I've scared quite a few men in my lifetime - and I'm not bragging, just sayin'...

  This might be a good place for one of MY cartoons - it can explain my outlook better than a buncha text:

  Hee hee hee hee heeeeee!!!!
• 

  Cagefighter

  Mrs. Jones- I find your comment about my penis incredibly crude and offensive. I hope the moderators ban you. I would never begin to make disparaging comments about your anatomy because I disagreed with you on an intellectual level.

  I am reporting this to the moderators and I hope to never see you on this board again.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Hey, you brought up your penis first (pun not intended) but do what you gotta do. *snicker* *run penis, run!*
• 

  panhandlegirl

  Anyone who has seen "Fatal Attraction" knows that women are not the only ones who have to be careful with those people who will just not leave you alone after you have said no to them or not called them after a date.

  From what talesin said about bunny-boiler, I see she has seen that movie (I'm sure most of you have).

  I agree with NC comments. When a man starts trying to tell you what to do,or even suggesting something of the sort, it's time to say good-bye. I have actually called security at a Mall to see me to my car when I have

  noticed too much attention being given to me by a man. I listen to my "gut" feeling when I meet or am around someone I just met or am not familar with.

  msjones, thats for posting that article. It was excellent. I am going to order the books mentioned there. You can never learn too much on this subject.

  Cagefigher, I don't see all men as dangerous, but this e-mail reeks with danger sighs/red flags. As stated eariler, by NC, I think, A woman does not owe a man,or anyone else, an explaination for not wanting to see/be with them

  anymore. It's a matter of choice.
• 

  EntirelyPossible

  I mean, I would totally be a stalker, but that sounds like a LOT of work and I am a fundamentally lazy person. Small talk with boring people falls into the "too much work" category as well.
• 

  panhandlegirl

  ziddena, I liked your cartoon.
• 

  NewChapter

  Pan--

  Last week I was working with my trainer, and he had me doing some very dignified squats! Yeah, well anyway, most people simply mind their own business and it is no issue. But there was this creepy looking guy working on the machine across from me, and he kept stopping to look at me. He even made eye contact, which pissed me off, because he didn't need to worry about my business. The little alarm went off, and I stopped in the middle of the reps and walked away. My trainer was kind of baffled and followed me. He asked what was wrong and I asked him about the creep in the corner. He said he was in there everyday, but yeah, people found him weird. So I told my trainer I had no intention of continue with the asshole ogling me. I explained that I did not make it this far, relatively injury free, buy ignoring my inner warnings. He was in total agreement.

  If I was the kind of woman that Prog thinks we should be, I would have ignored my inner warning, and submissively kept taking orders from my trainer while perv boy stared.

  Was this an overreaction? Well I work with a male trainer. He even will lay a hand on a muscle I need to focus on. But I can tell from his eyes and posture that it is business, and I don't get that scary feeling. Other guys have made eye contact with me in the midst of a workout. They've even nodded and smiled and then got on about their business. So what did I see in this particular guy, since I'm not prone to freakouts? I'm sure I saw a lot of things, and am only conscious of a few. That doesn't mean that others haven't had thoughts I'm not aware of, but because they respected boundaries, they did not threaten me.

  We don't know what this woman saw in this guy that night, but we can see from her email that she was dead right. Cricizing her is ridiculous. She owed no one anything. That would be like me walking up to creepy eye man and explaining that I was stopping my workout now and walking away because he was creeping me out. yeah---right. Like I want ANYMORE interaction with some stranger that I find threatening. And she shouldn't feel obligated to interact further either.
• 

  NewChapter

  Hell, it just occured to me that if I was the kind of woman that Prog thinks is proper, I probably wouldn't have been working out, but would have been home shooting out babies instead.