Being "on the hunt" sounds like desperation ... but does not someone have to decide at some point" to pursue "the idea
boyfriend --- girlfriend
Being on the hunt kind of is a desperate thing for some people. The point at which I would pursue the idea of relationship, would be with someone I knew well enough to know we both wanted that with each other. I'm not going to sit here alone thinking, "Really, I think I'll go on the hunt for a boyfriend."
So is not the precedent set....that the men must take the iniative .. he must take the leadership role then in seeking a relationship .. right ?
No. I don't think a man should be on the hunt either. Leadership role? What do you mean by that? If I meet a man and we hit it off, there will be a kind of "dance" between us where we discover things like chemistry, things in common, the enjoyability of conversation, exchanging wit and at some point some subtle, clever flirting. Then we usually discuss how much we enjoy each other's company, personality, etc. And somehow it ends up we spend time together that ends up romantic. As far as leadership goes though, I will never kiss a man first, unless it might be a kiss on the cheek. It's important to me to see how he handles that first kiss.
....is it not that conifidence in taking the lead ( being proactive ) that is super attractive and appealing to most women ?
I think you are confusing "taking the lead" and headship with backbone. Most women do not find a guy who is easily pushed around and passive to be attractive. That means we don't want to see him let anyone push him around. Power should never be an issue. With the right two people, it will fall naturally where it should without ever discussing it.
Headship is a term that makes most women bristle. Especially those of us who came out of the JW's. To us it just means oppression.