All of you should start a splinter JW group..

by fortbethel 87 Replies latest social humour

  • minimus

    I wouldn't want to splinter from the JWs because I do not want to have any association with that cult.

  • noni1974

    I already started a cult religion. I call it the Church of Walmart and we meet in the local Walmart every Friday after you get paid. There is no tithing I just look at things longingly while we walk around and you buy them for me.

    REV Noni

  • N.drew

    nini1974! Too bad the Earth is so big. I think I can't get there. Because it is far far away. My own Wal Mart is 50 minutes. I would be happy to buy you something. Is store brand OK?

  • glenster

    Found a religion: I can do that better than Muhammad and I get the age of
    the universe right, too:

    "13.7 ± 0.13 billion years (433.6 x 1015 seconds in SI units, or 13.75
    Gigayears) within the Lambda-CDM concordance model. This is however only the
    estimated time since the Big Bang. It is not known if something existed before
    the singularity that we call Big Bang, nor if time is linear, since the
    expansion estimated by Hubble's law assumed a linear expansion, and later work
    indicates there may have been variations. The estimated changes in expansion are
    calculated to be both positive and negative, so Hubble and later estimates
    broadly agree.

    Welcome to the church of Glen. Get on those telephones. OK, save your
    money for later--we could get phones.

    Neither the basic God concept or atheism, rejection of belief in God or gods,
    comes with stipulations to hurt or kill anybody. If anyone adds them, blame

    Basic God concept possibility: "How to Think About God" by Mortimer Adler.

    Faith should be understood as such. Don't mess with the rational things, the
    see-able, touchable, measurable things--the proven facts. God is a possibility
    beyond them you may or may not have faith in.

    Don't be 'centric and intolerant whether you believe in God or not, and
    neither should be law of the land (institutionalized 'centric intolerance).
    Nobody should be hurt or killed over these things.

    Religion as law of the land is an ethical and theological dilemma unless you
    can prove there's a God and He wants it. (It was alleged of the Ark of the Cove-
    nant which was gone by 587-586 BC. Jesus and followers didn't ask for it--
    Theodosius did in 380 AD. Muhammad asked for it starting with his prophesy
    claim made law of the land with the Charter of Medina and it's allegedly
    substantiated by the Qur'an--it's not.)

    It should be like freedom of subjective reactions to music beyond the math of
    music. If you propagandize, you get the facts of the math wrong, and if you
    don't like the music, either, you can't be in the band. You have to stay home
    and play by yourself, which is a whole different thing.

    Don't overindulge the self at another's unneccesary hurt or death, unfair
    regard or treatment (lie, steal, murder, etc.).

    Don't pull the plug out be the cord--use the plug.
    Look both ways before crossing the street.
    GTAs are best played on the PC.

    Have the liberal stances on gender, sexual orientation, evolution, race, and
    slavery, etc. (If you make Abrahmic conservatism law of the land, you get
    things like Muhammad legalizing slavery so he could f**k the slave women--Sura
    4:24, 4:3, 33:50, 23:5-6, 70:29-30.)

    Little pup dogs are good. Take them to the vet regularly, feed them right,
    keep them clean and clean after them, be gentle in instructing them, and they'll
    always love you. (Muhammad didn't know that and just kept them out back to kill
    rats so they didn't like him.)

    Homosexuals are a matter of a small percentage of animals and people born that
    way. (Why would God create them that way then want Muhammad to have them
    killed as abominations to be punished--target practice?)

    Those who create mischeif in the land for Allah and his prophet...

    (like saying things considered the objective truth to the Western world: that
    Muhammad was wrong about what part of the body semen is made in, was a misogyn-
    ist about hitting women to keep them in line, was a bigot about homosexuality,
    etc.--a regular Mel Gibson audio tape except he didn't have the excuse of treat-
    ing manic depression with booze, so his religious opinions shouldn't be law of
    the land)

    ...shouldn't be killed. Grace at handling criticism wasn't Muhammad's strong
    suit--he was worse about controlling critics of propaganda than a JWs leader if
    not the president of Iran. Don't let a kid die at a hospital for a group who
    used Clayton Woodworth as a medical advisor and don't kill anybody for someone
    who says God needs it done who advises you to put camel pee in milk if you're
    sick. You shouldn't have to smell it when you're healthy let alone drink it if
    you're sick. Don't make a JWs leader the president of the country--same thing.

    I'm not claiming I'm God's prophet, so if you're creating mischeif in the land
    for me you're probably asking where you can find Bigfoot in the Back of Beyond.
    The moderator will probably ignore you.

  • N.drew

    Wow! It sounds really good glenster. The religion of weird poetry. How to choose? How to know if it matters?

    "the land of me", good. Very good. I think I've been there. What do you look like? Maybe I saw you.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    For the people that still love YHWH and Jesus, there are some good and noble things about the Witnesses that cannot be denied.

    Are any of these good and noble things unique to the Witnesses or can they be engaged in without the trappings of an organization? If you can name some positive things about the JW faith that also require organizing into a formal religious entity, then the idea might have some merit that's worth exploring. Right now, I can't think of anything.

  • rebel8

    Hey lets say we were going to start a NEW group. What would we name it?

    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America [UADNA]. Google that.

  • AwareBeing

    Just go back to basics and do what the disciples did!

  • ziddina
    "Hey lets say we were going to start a NEW group. What would we name it?
    I will try a few:
    Apostate Dubs, Aposticals, Apostates United, TTATT Borg, Aposta Kool-Aid Drinkers, The Apostate Way, Not Apostates Org, Rebels Without A Cause,
    Awake Dubs, The Enlightened, Apostate Witnesses,..."

    OOOOOOOOOOOO, Greybeard, I vote for "The Enlightened"...

    It sounds sorta spooky and science-fictionish, like grayish aliens come to take over our minds or maybe Fifth-dimension beings out to take over the world...

    [maybe I should have left in my mis-spelled "dimention" as in "dementia"... ]

    And we could call the head guy - er, gal - er, guys and gals - "The Enlightened Leaders" and the rest could be called "The Enlightened Followers" - isn't this getting a little too "Kim Dong Yi - North Korea", by now??

    Maaaaybe we could call them "The Enlightened Sheepherders" and "The Enlightened Sheep" - or "The Enlightened Wolves" and "The Enlightened Muttonchops"...

    And speaking of this subject, Bill Maher's movie "Religilous" is on in an hour or so - I've gotta catch that movie A=GAIN!!

    Zid the She-Devil

  • dgp

    Ziddina: I already declared myself to be the Top Gun. If we're going to create a new cult, let's not instill those dangerous democratic ideas about "guys and gals".

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