I am considering suicide...

by Nebeska Nada 104 Replies latest jw friends

  • tmo1965

    You need to get to the nearest hospital NOW !!! - suicidal thoughts are a medical emergency!!!

  • Quandry

    Take a walk. Get some fresh air and exercise. Enjoy seeing the blue sky. It is there for you to enjoy.

    Life is yours...you are going through a rough spot as many do from time to time. Please don't give in to despair.

    We are rooting for you!

  • Nobleheart

    Nebeska I feel sorry for what you're going through.

    I went through a period of severe disillusion and shock too for some time, due to the WT.

    Please know that it does get better. You have my cyber support and I send you a hug!

  • nicolaou
    Don't worry... I will seek help...

    And, I will write here again, tomorrow...

    Perfect, look forward to it!

  • Heaven

    (((( B the X )))) Billy, I am so very glad you did not go through with ending your life.

    I do understand these feelings, but suicide is a nasty, permanent solution to a temporary problem.

    NN, not sure I can add much more to what everyone else has already said so I have a question for you.

    What do you enjoy doing? What gives you joy and lifts you up? Please tell us.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Please google hot line suicide and you will be able to instantly speak with someone competent.

    I can't tell you if you are having suicidal ideation or actual impulses. Briefly, I was on the verge of suicide for decades with agoningizing facial pain with a 95% suicide rate. I was obsessed. I vidvidly recall visiting my dentist in a famous 60s sitcom building, Family Affair. The TV repp made it abisurb that real life was happening. My heart pounded. I wanted the courage to walk onto fast moving traffic in 6th Avenue. My analytic mind stopped me. I went to a payphone to call the NYPD for help. Somehow I thought the police would not be gentle moms. The thought of going to Bellevue seemed worse than death.

    If you ask for help and you did here, people will help. I never liked people not in my shoes to judge my suicide. 95% or more kill themselves for a rational reason. I just could not without understanding why. Primarily, I did not want to die but to live abundantly.

    Talking about your feelings and impulses helps. I was hospitalized with depression voluntarily many times during the illness. It was not fun, but I was alive. Decades passed. My mom would come with me almost nightly to psychc ers or ministers, priests that I would visit just to get through th enight when things seemed darkest. I was determined to live abundantly or die trying. My father abused me severely within JWs. I was very isolated. Self-esteem was not good. Talk, if someoone isn't available, talk to someone else. Antidepressants don't cure your problems but they are night and day in helping to cope.

    There is a sophsticated system to help people in this country without censure or punishment. Repeatedly, I have read to always take someone seriously. They are not grandstanding. The closer you are to closer concrete plans, call for help. I never left the optin of suicide off the table. My coping was to say not yet, one more night. Most suicides are impuslive, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. After decades, a new treatment emerged and I became pain free. Life is blessed now with its burdens.

    Acknowledging pain is essential. Sometimes you can join a support group of others contemplating suicide. I found other suicidal pain sufferers the most articulate and eloquent. Doctors were very helpful but never walked the walk. Postponiing a day at a time can get you through. Please let us know how you are doing. Jesus promised us tribulatoin, not wealth and fame. He is present with us. Every hour, I thought that my God endured the cross. Unlike that rascally Jehovah, Jesus knew all lthe tears, the body torn asunder to death. He was present with me in my sufferiing. Besides this strand, I also was damn angry that he would not use a magic wand for me.

    If you have time, I suggest Viktor Frankl, The Meaning of Suffering, from a concencration sufferer, and Jung, The problem of JOb and the full text of Job itself. C.S. Lewis, famous for Mere Christianity, wrote two books on suffering. The Problem of Pain, written by someone preaching who has never faced true pain, that I abhor, and A Grief Observed, written in staggering pain after his wife's death. C.S. illustrates what I describe as too facile and then in A Grief, the actuality of pain.

    Feel free to pm me.

  • Lozhasleft

    Nothing and nobody is worth losing your life for...you only have this one...please save it. Everyone here cares very much...I hope it helps you to get through this bad time...

    Loz x

  • cantleave

    Titus - what's up? I thought things were going to plan. PM me.

  • WhatWasIThinking

    Nebeska, please get help ASAP. I had a friend commit suicide and it was devasting to his friends and family.

    What matters most is you. Your life is precious and valuable even if you don't see that now.

  • elderelite

    Hey comrad, been a while but glad to see you :-)

    Ill add my .02

    Yea... I spent a few weeks with a gun in my hand ponderimg it... Came too close for comfort... Would have were it not for my daughter and another friend who had the love to call me when i didnt respond to other attempts to contact me.. Neither of them Will know the life they saved that day...

    Its permant solution to a temporary problem.

    The pain WILL go away. It WILL get better.

    Thinking positive thoughts for you man! If u ever want another ear added to the clear numbers who care, pm me and ill give u my email address

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