I am considering suicide...

by Nebeska Nada 104 Replies latest jw friends

  • tec
    tec

    Nebaska, I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I understand the feeling; as most everyone here does. But the pain will fade and end, without your life fading and ending. There are an awful lot of witnesses on this thread to testify to that, at least, including me.

    "As long as there is life, there is hope". Can't remember who said that, but I've always believed it, and it has always proven true for me. If you have to change something in your life - even something huge - then change it. You have no idea the things that can be waiting for you around the corner. No idea.

    As for your monastery idea, sometimes we need something like that... to take a break and get our heads in order. I think you should first talk to someone, in person, who understands pain and thoughts of suicide. Many suggestions have been given, and I hope you follow them. But if you are at the point of no return, and you need to escape for a while (3, 6, 12 months?) to get your head in order and perhaps find some inner peace, then do what you think will help you find that. Change something... so you still have life, and so you still have hope.

    Peace to you,

    Tammy

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    t,

    we all care about you and we want to hear from you .

    The cult slowly trys to take away your identity and make you feel worthless but don't you let them. They are evil and dangerous step away and breathe fresh air see your future.

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    Oh dear Lord.....

    Right firstly, someone who is going to attempt suicide does not post on a forum... When someone posts suicidal thoughts on a forum they are screaming for help... Suicide tends to be the last thing they want, that's why they go public... No one can help you but yourself... If you need to get away to a monestry GO! I wish I could have done that. Get away, go discover who you are, not the WT persona you have developed...Let that person who has been crushed fly free.... You deserve that.

    I have attempted suicide many times... I walked out infront of buses, lorry's , car's... I used to stand on top of car parks and bridges to throw myself off. I slit my wrists and I took pills.... You know what??? I am soo glad I didn't suceed... I got help, it took a long time but I am recovering! If all of us can come through the other side then you can.

    Yeah suicide seems to be the easy way out, but it's not... Life isn't easy... When you win the fight though, life is totally worth it!

    Peace my friend

  • shopaholic
    shopaholic

    nebeska,

    Finding out my life was been one big lie was completely devastating. I woke one morning and realized that my life had been wasted on this garbage. I cried for days. Once I pulled it together enough to drive into work it was crazy. Nothing seemed real. I begin to wonder what was the point of life at all and on several occassions considered just ending it all.

    Then a thought popped into my head, "Why should I die because some people that I don't even know lied to someone that lied to someone else that eventually lied to my mother who passed the lie on to me?"

    Seek out a therapist. If you're not comfortable with that, talk to someone, anyone. I know when I called Flipper, he probably thought I was crazy or mentally unstable but having him actually listen to my story did wonders for me. If you are not able to talk to anyone, write it out. Grab a pen and paper and just write everything you feel completely unfiltered. Give yourself a day or two and then go back and read it. You'll see that you are angry that you've been told a lie and not wanting to kill yourself over a lie from people that you don't even know.

    There's a lot of living to do, don't let them rob you of it.

  • dm6
    dm6

    Hey Nebaska.

    My name is Darren.

    I know how you feel since i can relate to your emotion.

    I have been in intensive care a few times a couple of years back when i was in your situaition. this is actually nothing to do with the watchtower.

    I had personal reasons, and it drove me to that. All i will say is, i know its really tough at the time of feeling like that and hard to cope with, but when its over you carry on your life with a smile and so much more to do.

    I honestly thought my life was over and i saw it through a couple of times(suicide) but to no avail.

    Now i am through that, i am so glad i didn't, its the same with anything in life, once your through whatever trials your going through, they are nothing but memories.

    i wish you all the strength you can find to not go through with it, because trust me, when your out of this frame of mind, you will look back on this one day and be so happy that you never did - and i know its hard to think like this right now... i couldnt see it myself either..just trust me.

    All the best...

    Dm6

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    I hope you are now in a safe place and getting the help you need.

    thinking of youFS

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    Hey Nebeska…so many great words on here, not sure what I can add other than I too am thinking of you. Hang in there, friend!

    Threads like this show the incredible people on this forum - all the great thoughts and concerned words reveal the big hearts on here. Reading thru all the comments these stood out to me and bear repeating...

    jean-luc: Dont let the WatchTower win. Come back fighting.

    Rocky Girl: A wise woman told me once, when I was teetering on the edge of suicide, that since I was not afraid to die I should think about what I AM afraid to do and then do it. Do something scarier than dying: LIVE.

    sizemik: His entire two posts…powerful stuff.

  • Nebeska Nada
    Nebeska Nada

    Hey, good people...

    Thank you very much.

    I cried whole night...

    I feel better now...

    Thank you...

    I need more time to read all your posts...

    Thank you, my people...

    WTBTS - you will not crush me. My life has a value.

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    Now THAT is the best thing I've read in a long while! Good for you man! And if you ever get those feelings again, well just take a look at the depth of experience and concern from all these lovely people.

    You are not alone.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Well said Titus - you have another PM!!!

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