Tonight I disassociated myself - after 24 years - had 2 hour meeting with Elder (page 5)

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Well, this certainly gives us new, clear perspective on what our "friends" really are.

Watchtower doctrine is a collection of lies supported by an organization of self-righteous, mob-mentality slaves of men.

nancy drew

you'll be fine life is about to begin make a wish

Intel: MOST people do not deserve to know what is in your heart. Your new life is JW-free, to a large degree. Do not feel obligated to read their emails or accept their calls. This will re-open wounds and flood you with negative emotions. The reality is this: Most of these people will go to their graves thinking that WT is God's Organization. Even if you spend the rest of your life trying to effect some sort of change, this will still be true. Release the bonds and move one. You'll have sleepless nights for a month or two. You'll also have emotional episodes that are triggered by memories or by some hurtful comment by a JW. This is to be expected.

The good news? It will get better. You will have a different frame of mind within a few months. Begin making friends with quality people who don't know anything about the JWs. Resist the temptation to put the cult experience baggage on new friends. They cannot relate or understand. If you're not seeing a therapist, give it a try.

Best wishes.

-LWT (of the DA class)

LongHairGal

Intel:

It wasn't easy to do what you did. Disassociation is fine for some and fading is fine for others.

The remark made to you about "if there is no absolute truth, then there is no absolute freedom" really gets me because it is so typical of something a captive JW would say.

It is indicative of their unbalanced view of people in the world and also of the mind-crippling doctrines of their dictator-like religion that really would take away people's freedoms if they had the real power to do so. God help us all. Besides, an intelligent person knows there is no absolute freedom. It is all relative to so many things so this is a very stupid remark.

I also wonder how many others are sitting there "not believing it but sacrificing themselves for their families' sake". I don't envy them one bit.

I wish you all the best on your road to freedom.

Glander

Been where you are. The day after my DF letter was read my wife packed up the kids and went to her family for a few days. I let her work it out and I didn't try to talk 'apostasy' to her. The Watchtower and the elders did the job for me over time.

A year and a half later she wrote her own DA letter.

ifonly789

Intel.. Good on you for showing such courage. Its difficult but it will get easier.

the-illuminator81,, good advice

sd-7

Sounds like a terrible situation. For those who are critical of you for not telling your wife you were about to do this, having been there, it's actually hard to imagine she didn't already see this coming. Surely your conversations would have revealed it. Either way, you're not to be blamed for believing something different than your family. There is nothing morally wrong about that, even if you didn't tell her in advance (which is not really a valid assertion if you've argued about this to a significant degree in the past).

I'd say, grieve, and if she's willing to negotiate sometime, negotiate. But your first duty right now is to yourself. You have to grieve. You have to deal with these feelings constructively. I hope you'll be able to connect with your child in the near future, however; the pain of being separated from your child, and probably feeling like it's your fault, is an awful, awful thing to deal with. I know enough of this sort of pain to know that you'll make a deal with the devil if you had to in order to see your kid again.

I admire your courage in disassociating. The fight for freedom has only just begun. With endurance and hope as your banners, you will win.

--sd-7

Rabbit

Intel,

I started missing meetings & questioning the brothers, The Truth's changing doctrines, while I was married to my JW, she cleverly (I think she had help) figured out my problem...I had to have a demon. It must have just been obvious, ya' know?

Well, fast forward a few years, we were divorced. Kids minds were poisoned and that hasn't recovered yet. Please...be very, very careful...absolutely demand your rights! You've done what you felt was the best, the best way for your situation. Moshe is still spouting his same old tired "doormat" doctrine...not even apparently aware that people come in all shapes and sizes. One size does not fit all.

I am a proud fader. My decision has enabled me to have some contact with one daughter, sisters, cousins, aunts & uncles... I don't know if I'll ever cause them to doubt what they've been taught -- and get out themselves, but, I have had some access. I've also had painful shunning. And, I have never had the inevitable "showdown" with the elders.

Good Luck

Hortensia

change your email address or block their addresses. Go get your tattoo. Join a club, volunteer for something interesting, find out what the television programs are on Tuesday and Thursday evenings - or whenever your meetings were. Make some money, have some fun, treat your child to some fun.

congratulations! it will get better and you'll be so happy you got out

Chariklo

Intel, I've read this whole thread through and found it both illuminating and very moving.

I am very sad for you that your wife has left taking the child, and I absolutely agree with those urging you to insist on your rights...and also, on the rights of your child to see you! Children have theitr own rights and they deserve and need to see both parents.

Congratulations on taking your stand and acting as you thought. This thread also helps me to understand those who don't feel able to do that.

I've had to make some hard decisions in my life, and like Moshe, I've found it's always better to face up to things and just do it. A clean cut is better than leaving something to fester or gradually scraping away at it.

Tonight I disassociated myself - after 24 years - had 2 hour meeting with Elder