Jehovah's witness meetings are NOT BORING......

by punkofnice 122 Replies latest jw experiences

  • punkofnice

    @Keyser soze – sorry you got the elbow!

    @Pirata – Did you imagine a cannon ball taking some of the power trippers out?

    @clarity – Perhaps if you had of rushed to the stage and ‘announced the truth’ it would have livened things up for those like us who just wanted to sleep!

    @what now? – I used to watch the wasps trapped in the light fittings try to get out.

    @nugget – Did that give you good 1 st aid experience or was it more of a ‘koolaid’ experience? – So, when they did the bible high lights on the Song of Solomon your comments were expert!

    @Mr Quirk – 3 cheers for Billy!!! Hip Hip…..

    @hamsterbait – Sorry about the cult crap but at least you could help negate it with some good old Led Zepp!

    @FirstLastName – You’d get slapped for taking notes? Mind you I guess the only thing you wrote was; ‘Do more for the FD$ or die….soon!’

    @The Finger – Counting seems to have been a top ten past time at meetings.

    @Outlaw – Hey, I had a top like that lad….and the teeth….Oh, it IS me.

    @unshackled – Truly artistic. Did you ever draw bags under their eyes?

    @ProdigalSon – Rolling Stone. Far more interesting than the washTowel!

    @talesin – King Elder sounds like a filthy pervert to me!

    @band on the run – At least at my church the Book of Common Prayer doesn’t have cheesy illustrations and bait and switch propaganda techniques to make me ‘do more or die….soon…..subject to overlapping!’

    @Scully – Reading the washTowel at bedtime gives me nightmares.

    @undercover – I feel for you. I only hope the kid will grow up and become an uber-apostate!

    @steve2 – You have great observation skills!

    @d – I wonder how many of those in the arena thought it was the big ‘A’?

    @Whaite Dove – A sister tweezing her whiskers? Was that the famous ‘bearded lady’? Just shows me some sisters have more manliness than the CoBE.

    @talesin – Agreed

    @JRK – As long as you didn’t play those crappy ‘bible charade’ game we all loathed.

    @White Dove – I found that JW’s are amongst the most superstitious people EVER despite what they claim.

    @Terra Incognito – Perhaps he was not human but a robot. Mind you, I think the FD$ wanted us all to be robots!

    @exwhyzee – That poor Bruv in the wheelchair – He prayed to Jar-Hoover and ended up ‘tired out’ – sorry, bad pun!

    @JustHuman14 – It truly was shocking and what’s more shocking now looking back…it was TOTALLY avoidable if the FD$ had really given a crap.

  • nugget

    yes I did get a good funily enough. The brother picked up the chair that had fallen off the platform with me and left me on the floor. I had to get up unassisted and get back on the stage in deathly silence. I did the whole talk trying not to look at my householder because I would have laughed. It was a pity I wasn't working on introductions to arouse interest.

  • punkofnice

    @nugget - I guess they were very worried about the chair. After all it's part of Jar-Hoover's 'belongings' and therefore less important than you.

    Was it the chairman that picked it up? (Bad pun...ducks....)

  • godrulz

    Every JW meeting I have attended has been boring and amateurish (I have never been a JW), including their funerals (which should be a time of joy and hope for believers). In contrast, when I go to church, there is joy, peace, power, the presence of God, vibrant worship (that JWs fear or know nothing about), dynamic, relevant exposition/application of the Word (vs boring monologues of WT indoctrination), genuine fellowship, love, etc. Some meetings can be boring, but this is the exception. It still amazes me how people can remain in dead religion when there are alternatives that have life based on God being there (the KH does not exalt Jesus and denies the person of the Spirit=demonic oppression/deception).

  • White Dove
    White Dove


    I remember the birds flying around the top of the Dome (Tacoma) and loved it.

    Also, I had a 3-ring circus going on with trapeze, animals, and everything.

    I imagined myself on the trapeze many times.

    The ceilings were so high!

  • simon17

    Sunday's were easily the best because you had the WT so you could at least draw on something, read something, circle random words, make some stupid little game since you had material to look at and write on.

    Also doing the sound was a MASSIVE "blessing". Back in the sound booth you could do all sorts of random things, or at the least continually talk to people who were coming and going from the bathroom.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    The thing they talked about that got me completely scare, and so the only thing I ever really paid attention to besides demunz and other torture, was the faithful being burned alive on the stake.

    Also, don't you just know that kids about 10 years ago were very frightened about being nailed to a torture stake, as described in the Greatest Man book?

    Torture and demunz, the only things kids actually understand from meetings.

    No wonder they get tons of nightmares.

  • Girlie

    As a convert who came in during my late teen years, I thought the meetings were interesting. Then with each passing year and no new light other than the convoluted BS that was passed as illuminating information, it became boring. Towards the end of my time as a JW, I would sit in an empty room of the Hall to be left to my thoughts until it was over and then rush out to avoid talking to any of the "friends". Those meditative moments were what I needed to plan my exit.

  • DanaBug
    or even wondering what it would be like to swing by a trapeze from the stadium ceiling.

    I also did this during conventions. I would imagine myself up there in the catwalks finding a path without falling to my death. Or I'd scope out the spotlights and figure out where they'd be shining if they were on. Watched people exit the auditorium and timed how long it took them to get back. Also did the marking off for every mention of Jehovah, Jesus, anointed, other sheep, paradise, etc. Looked up dirty words in the Bible index. Read whatever magazines I had with me. When I was younger, my hands were dinosaurs and my lap and chair a landscape since I really loved the Land Before Time movie.

    On the upside, we've all probably got a much longer attention span than other people who never experienced this.

  • oompa

    so nobody spanked it in the bathroom stall?...or was that just.....uh....just someone i heard about once? funny how many things we did with the WT back then as kids....i of course did the coloring and all....but i would blur my eyes while looking at a page full of text and start drawing a line from north to south while zig zagging around the i was working my way through a maze....or i would blur it first and try to memorize the maze...then trace it while not blurring the page.....geeze was i already going nuts????................oompa

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