The PERFECT Translation...for Churchoids!

by theMadJW 723 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • theMadJW


  • theMadJW

    Now, for those of you who wish to learn WATCHTOWERese, repeat to yourself "You'd do well to ask yourself", and "Benefit More Fully", and "Enjoy the Rich Banquet of Spiritual Food from the Faithful & Discreet Slave Class"!

  • theMadJW

    John 4:23- Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship Us, the Holy Trinity, in spirit and tradition, for they are the kind of worshipers We seek. 24 We are Ghosts, and Our worshipers must worship as Ghosts and in authorized Church Dogma!. 25-The woman said to Them: “I know that the Triune Messiahs are coming, who are called Trinity-the-Christ. Whenever Those arrive, They will declare all things to us openly.” 26 - Jesus God said to her: “We who are speaking to you areThey .” - RCV

  • theMadJW

    Lesson #1, from "How to Speak Fluent Churchese (

    The word "God".

    In churchese, the word "God" NEVER EVER refers to a Supreme Being!

    So in order to fluently speak churchese as a native churchoid would, one must always think of a, say, God with a split personality.

    As THEY call it "ONE" God... (that isn't one in any REAL sense) a 3-in-one oil. A Trio of God-Persons or "essences", like divine perfumes....

    Thus it's not "GOD" spoke to Moses, but "Gods" spoke to Moses, and "They", not "He", and 'They' never say " I", but "We". If you find it almost impossible to think that way, try having a friend safely rap you on the head with a baseball bat; it almost ALWAYS helps you see things in triplicate...

  • shamus100


    How's the meth? Have your teeth fallen out yet?

  • theMadJW

    No- I haven't started speaking churchese, myself!

  • Chalam

    donny Regardless of what each side claims, the bible is not "crystal clear" on the subject as some want to believe.

    I find my bibles crystal clear regarding Jesus :)

    John 1:1 (New International Version)

    1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

    Matthew 1:23 (New International Version)

    23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

    Hebrews 1:3 (English Standard Version)

    3 He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.

    2 Corinthians 4:4 (English Standard Version)

    4 In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

    Philippians 2:5-7 (New International Version)

    5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
    6 Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
    7 but made himself nothing,
    taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.

    Revelation 22:12-13 (New International Version)

    12 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

    False notions of Jesus deny these verses or tamper with them.



  • Chalam

    theMadJW Have you had your transubstantiation lately?

    No, I don't believe in it. I have the freedom to choose what doctrines I believe.

    JWs on the other hand are force fed every piece of junk and rotten food served up by the WT or face disfellowshipping.



  • theMadJW

    That sure is apparent- you made the WRONG choice...

    You must REALLY love the Lessons in speaking Churchese, then!


    Oh Plankton, won't you ever learn?! I'll include some NWT scriptures after a Watchtower quote. ...please, no laughing out loud..

    The man Jesus is dead forever. We deny that HE was raised in the flesh, and challenge any statement to that effect as being unscriptural. Studies in scriptures 1899 5;454, studies in scriptures 1917 7;57

    The New World Translation reads

    NWT John 2 vs19-21- 19 In answer Jesus said to them: “Break down this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.” 20 Therefore the Jews said: “This temple was built in forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?” 21 But he was talking about the temple of his body.

    And we all know how accurate the New world translation is, right Plankton?

    Ego Eimi funny = I AM funny


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