wha happened? writes:
ok next time I go to a meeting, I'm dry humping my wife during prayer
TO ALL BODIES OF ELDERS:
According to our Bethel Internet Monitors, the apostate known as wha happened? has plans to "dry hump" his wife during prayer at the meeting. Subversive activity of this nature needs to be stopped, and an example needs to be made of the person (or persons) engaging in this blasphemous behaviour. When this behaviour is witnessed (unfortunately, this will mean that you brothers will have to monitor your congregations during prayers, because we aren't going to pay for security cameras to be installed in the Kingdom Halls to facilitate this witch hunt keeping the congregation clean, although you are welcome to finance such an expense independently) the individuals involved are to be invited to a Judicial Committee meeting IMMEDIATELY following the prayer, and summarily disfellowshipped, with the announcement made before anyone leaves the building. Although we live in a land where the laws of Caesar forbid us to carry out theocratic justice by stoning or other forms of execution, this is the best solution we have for the time being.
Warm Christian Love,
The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society