Why don't you just take it like a man? (page 15)

beksbks

Seems to me you and H have missed the fact that the original comment did not compare shunning to rape.

Seems to me you have completely ignored the points made and have instead just concentrated on the method of delivery and who is expressing them.

I guess in viewing relatively anonymous JW posters, it is easy to see that there are victims here. The hard part I see when individuals like Highlander and Doe make their "get over it or get therapy comments" is that they presume to judge and to know when it is time to move on.

Frankly, no one here is. If someone is wallowing, then they wallow. If they are going through a hard time, they express it. And who is AllTimeJeff, Highlander, John Doe, or anyone, to say that they are playing the victim card and that they should stop it?

Sorry, Beks is right. You miss the point, and you come across a bit self righteous in the process. Although I congratulate those who have got it ALL figured out, yet come back to imply that those that haven't yet could, if only the would follow your simple one to two sentence platitudes full of wisdom and insight.

So Highlander, Doe, I will do my best to do it your way, and I can only hope once I follow your superior method that I to can come back and lecture those in pain that they should just "get over it."

Midget-Sasquatch

John Doe,

OK. Yes, alcoholics need to be told to stop drinking. But you're not acknowledging that a curt remark such as "take it like a man", maybe a quick smack to one's face, does nothing to really help. Maybe if this were the movies.

Lola makes a valid point about not staying too long in a depressed funk and to stop keeping ourselves in the role of victim. But at the same time, you've got to treat the victim compassionately and tenderly till they're ready and strong. Each of us are different in the amount of time we'll need.

John Doe

My aim is neither to be self righteous nor unfeeling. However, enabling behaviour is a false blanket of nothingness that will do more harm than good in the long run. Am I sympathetic to those who are unable to move forward? Certainly. Am I going to help them wallow in self pity? I think not.

beksbks

LOL

SixofNine

Comparing rape to shunning is very insulting and dismissive to those who have been raped.

Meh, I told a woman on this forum that very same thing, several years ago. She told me I was full of shit. It was hard to argue with her, since she also told me she'd been raped. It's a long and widely used metaphor, and no one means it to be a 1:1 "comparison".

Lucky Calamity

Lucky Calamity looks up with her soulful wolf eyes, licks her wounds and growls a little growl . . . then howls a little howl at the watchtower, and lurks off into the night of swirling clouds as the crescent moon smiles down upon her.

John Doe

Seems to me you and H have missed the fact that the original comment did not compare shunning to rape.

Seems to me you have completely ignored the points made and have instead just concentrated on the method of delivery and who is expressing them.

Ok, so that's why I told everyone to ignore what you and Jeff have said because you're being controversial, without discussing the issues in question? ;-)

beksbks

Ok, does anyone see the pointless and slightly cruel aspect here? Lola comes on to an XJW SITE, to tell people to get over being an XJW. I mean seriously. Going fishing with dynamite????

John Doe

Ok, does anyone see the pointless and slightly cruel aspect here? Lola comes on to an XJW SITE, to tell people to get over being an XJW. I mean seriously. Going fishing with dynamite????

Sweetie, dear, lola is not the issue here.

Why don't you just take it like a man?

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