Cantleave,
Welcome to the board. You're not a hypocrite, you're just trying to figure a way out with the least amount of damage. Take your time...but don't take too long...its no fun knowingly living a lie.
And if you're ready, you should totally take Flipper up on his offer. Don't worry, he won't apostatize you. He's a great listener. Its amazing the weight that is lifted off of you by simply having a conversation out loud about where you are in regards to the JW faith.
Best wishes for peaceful journey,
Shop