Two weeks ago today I helped celebrate my grandaughter's 2nd birthday and we had a blast. So much fun. The 1st birthday party for me happened when I turned 50 and the people where I work through me a surprise party. I was still going to meetings so felt kinda funny but still had a great time. And I did'nt get struck by hailstones or anything because of it.
...Jehovah`s Witness Kids don`t miss Celebrating Birthdays,Christmas..ect..ect!!....
mrsjones5 said: "So Canary, when are you going to throw a costume party?"
Actually, when I was a witness, I wanted to throw a singles shower, where all the married people would bring presents for all the single people. Alas, I am NOT good at organizing parties.
"Even more interesting..How many of us made sure our kids got to do the things we could not,as Jehovah`s Witness Kids.".....SO TRUE OUTLAW.
I love holiday time, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. A day or two after Thanksgiving the guys set up the tree. It's so fun to pull out the ornaments I bought each year and the ones the boys made me at school when they were little. Every year I buy one or 2 very special ornaments. The fellas leave the tree trimming to me and while decorating I listen to Nat King Cole's Christmas CD and a Charlie Brown Christmas.
We leave the lights on the tree lit most of the time...it seems kind of magical.
Reniaa, it isn't just about "When in Rome", it is about the sense of community celebration and more importantly, ritual. PLEASANT joyful rituals that were looked forward to. JWs got nothing. Ever wonder why baby/bridal showers are so WELL attended? It is because they got little else! They have nothing. Ritual and celebration are things humans have and do.
Did we miss presents? Sometimes. But seeing everyone, and knowing that we were going to have traditional favorite (or hated, even) foods, that one day a year that uncle joe actually doesn't have to work a holiday-whatever. JWs are very careful NOT to have any rituals or celebrations regularly, lest they give honor to anyone/anything other than Jehovah God.
Is is not a little sick how much we look forward to the coffee break as JW's? That's pretty much the closest thing to a ritual that JWs have to look forward to. We had a few that the elders shut down (or tried to), such as roller skating on halloween, and of course our youth WT studies.
I think rituals are one of the things that separate man from beasts.
FAMILY ROUTINES AND RITUALS MAY IMPROVE FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AND HEALTH, ACCORDING TO 50-YEAR RESEARCH REVIEW
Holiday Family Traditions Among Beneficial Rituals
WASHINGTON - Family routines and rituals are important to the health and well-being of today's families trying to meet the busy demands of juggling work and home, according to a review of the research over the past 50 years. The review finds that family routines and rituals are powerful organizers of family life that offer stability during times of stress and transition.
The 50-year review, part of a special section dedicated to the study of family routines and rituals in the December issue of the American Psychological Association's (APA) Journal of Family Psychology, finds that family routines and rituals are alive and well and are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents' sense of personal identity, children's health, academic achievement and stronger family relationships.
Psychologist Barbara H. Fiese, Ph.D., and colleagues at Syracuse University begin their review by distinguishing the difference between a family routine and a family ritual. "Routines involve instrumental communication conveying information that 'this is what needs to be done' and involve a momentary time commitment so that once the act is completed, there is little, if any, afterthought," says Dr. Fiese. "Rituals, on the other hand, involve symbolic communication and convey 'this is who we are' as a group and provide continuity in meaning across generations. Also, there is often an emotional imprint where once the act is completed, the individual may replay it in memory to recapture some of the positive experience." Any routine has the potential to become a ritual once it moves from an instrumental to a symbolic act.
Of the 32 studies reviewed, one of the more common routines identified was dinnertime, along with bedtime, chores, and everyday activities such as talking on the phone or visiting with relatives. The most frequently identified family rituals were birthdays, Christmas, family reunions, Thanksgiving, Easter, Passover, funerals and Sunday activities including the "Sunday dinner."
During infancy and preschool, children are healthier and their behavior is better regulated when there are predictable routines in the family, according to the review. Children with regular bedtime routines get to sleep sooner and wake up less frequently during the night than those with less regular routines, according to one study. Regular routines in the household, according to the review, shorten bouts of respiratory infections in infants and improve preschool children's health. Other studies examined whether the effects of regular routines are restricted to two-parents families. "The presence of family routines under conditions of single parenting, divorce, and remarried households may actually protect children from the proposed risks associated with being raised in nontraditional families," according to Fiese and colleagues.
Family size influences some of the routines and rituals of the family, especially the mealtime ritual. In larger families the father's caretaking role increases in order to help out while the mother's leadership role is less relative to that experienced in smaller families, one study finds. But in single-parent families or in other situations when fewer adults are available as conversation partners, more time is spent in adult-child talk than in two-parent families of similar size.
Despite these differences and the time and work challenges to arrange a family meal, the authors say the studies show the repetitive nature of the family mealtime allows families to get to know each other better, which can lead to better parenting, healthier children and improved academic performance.
"We know that families are busy, but we also know that most mealtimes only last about 20 minutes," says Dr. Fiese. "Three or four shared family meals a week is about one hour - considerable less time than a weekly televised sport event or movie. Although intervention studies have not been conducted yet there is reason to believe that regular family mealtimes that include responsive and respectful communication among members would benefit all who sit at the table."
The amount of direct influence routines and rituals has on making our lives better is up to future research. "It is likely that competent parents are more effective in creating family routines and that satisfying routines provide a sense of competence," according to the review authors. "It is also possible that families who are able to maintain routines and rituals even in the face of divorce may be distinguishable by other characteristics, such as lower levels of conflict, which can contribute to child adjustment."
Article: "A Review of 50 Years of Research on Naturally Occurring Family Routines and Rituals: Cause for Celebration?," Barbara H. Fiese, Thomas J. Tomcho, Michael Douglas, Kimberly Josephs, Scott Poltrock, and Tim Baker; Syracuse University; Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 16, No. 4.
Full text of the article is available from the APA Public Affairs Office or athttp://www.apa.org/journals/releases/fam164381.pdf.
Outlaw, I did miss celebrations, and so did my MOM. We always had a half arsed non chrismas celebration sometime in Dec/Jan. We didn't go for Christmas dinners w/the family after I was 8. So I remember very much the difference in my childhood when my mom stopped allowing us to celebrate the holidays with our relatives. We would go for dessert and the 'traditional' hot buttered rum (Which I think was bogus, as it was only on Xmas and the folks didn't give THAT up!). Weird, we couldn't do presents or play games on the holidays, we couldn't eat the turkey/ham etc, but we could have dessert?? I feel bad-my aunts had to make sure dinner was done and over before we got there. Once we got there early and went off on some drive to let them finish. What was THAT little hypocrisy supposed to prove?
I missed that my mom felt she could acknowledge our birthday in a roundabout way, but to allow anyone else to was somehow untheocratic. What is THAT supposed to prove? She could 'worship' me, but no one else could? Phooey on that!
What would Christmas be without some Nat King Cole tunes?..Simple Christmas`s with Popcorn Wreths..Old ornaments from Christmas`s past...............Christmas always seemed so magical.....The multi coloured lights,the food,Freinds and family that come over..Kids laughing and playing.................................... I love this thread...............................................OUTLAW
"I missed that my mom felt she could acknowledge our birthday in a roundabout way, but to allow anyone else to was somehow untheocratic. What is THAT supposed to prove? She could 'worship' me, but no one else could? Phooey on that!"....................LOL!!.........It`s not about worship..It`s about letting a kid know they are special..Letting them enjoy special days,with out feeling guilty..The WBT$ robs children of that..It`s Criminal..........................................OUTLAW
I was a Methodist until I got sucked into the JWs at age 30. And while I was always walking the walk and talking the talk I was MISERABLE not doing the holidays and ANY celebrations. I loved Memorial Day growing up, picnics and company and parades! I LOVED the 4th of July with barbeques and company over, playing badminton and eating all day and going to the fireworks! I LOVED Halloween and handing out candy and trick or treating! I LOVED Thanksgiving at my gramma's house with the smells and cousins to play with and beautiful nummy pies and watching football and the smell of my uncles cherry pipe tobacco. I adored Christmas and watching my mom decorate the tree after my dad got a fresh one and put the lights on for us. And waking up Christmas morning to mounds of pretty packages....Im telling ya what...to put all that aside for the sake of this...THING I had gotten myself into...ripped a hole in my heart. For 13 years I would go into a depression from Oct 30 to Jan 3rd.
When I left the JWs in Jan 97, when my kids were 8, 6 and 2...I jumped back into celebrating LIFE like there was no tomorrow and my JW husband, though he hated Christmas, did not try to stop me because he knew it was futile. My kids immediately were invited to birthday parties and began doing the holidays and drawing valentines and gave me hand made presents for mothers day. They joined all the sports and dance classes that they wanted so badly to do...and they have THRIVED and BLOSSOMED over the years.
The JWs always TOLD outsiders that they GAVE to their kids "all year long" but the reality was entirely different. All you have to do is read the Child Custody booklet they wrote wherein they tell kids to LIE in court about their participation in activities in order to not appear to be religious fanatics to the judge. If you have to LIE about it...then perhaps the truth is you DONT allow your JW kids to LIVE THEIR LIVES.
So busy are the JWs NOT living the only life God gave them...waiting on Armageddon that wont be coming ever...that they waste both their lives and the lives of their children.
"So busy are the JWs NOT living the only life God gave them...waiting on Armageddon that wont be coming ever...that they waste both their lives and the lives of their children."
How I would love this as the new theme for the year that they put up on the platform wall behind the speaker!!!!!!! It says it all.