What really is a Soul Mate? --- Is it possible Yes or No?

by Hope4Others 83 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others

    Passive suicide,

    I'm hijacking my own thread but I would like to talk about this with you and put the soul mate to the side...

    ...my dad didn't ever show his feelings with me ....

    I understand that....I so wanted to be close to my dad when I was young, yet I was in fear of him. He was this guy everyone loved, extremely good looking, smart, women just were

    lets say threw their self at him. They would be brazen enough to call our house. His own childhood was hell. You live what you learn! I wanted to be able to hug my dad at night and kiss

    him on the cheek like so many other kids did with their dads. It would take me 20 minutes of trying to overcome the fear to do so... many nights I did not I was so scared...My mom she

    loved us but she was extremely reserved. I vowed to myself that I would not be like my parents I would be affectionate with my kids their life would be different. Perhaps self determination

    wanting to be different, not that I did not make mistakes. I had a hell of a first marriage, I loved too deeply, I'm lucky to be alive. But i guess the thing is we all have a story, hurt, pain,

    things to work out and when you find that special person that loves you for who you are just helps to continue in your dreams, hopes and desires. Perhaps we may never meet that soul

    mate it does not mean we can not find love.

    Hope4others

  • llbh
    llbh

    I think we just know when we have met our soul mate , the chemistry, the frisson, that leaves feelings that can not be dismissed.

    To let this go will always leave asking 'what if..'.

    Regards david

  • passive suicide
    passive suicide

    Hey. By my last comments please do not think that I feel love is not possible. Hope4others....i can tell you are a very loving person, and I don't mean to be a damper on that. I was just giving my opinion to the question posed...... I do not believe in soul mates......but I do believe in love, Commitment, caring, understanding, empathy, self sacrifice, and all the rest.....all things required to maintain a LONG lasting relationship! I can relate to your feelings for your father, and it makes me strive even harder to be all the more available to my own wonderful daughter...... It's amazing how much our own children can teach us about ourselves.....and our own issues growing up, if only we're open to it. Your question is heartfelt, and to that I can only be honest... To ME....there is no such thing as a soul mate, love at first sight....or any other romanticized rubbish. Only a good fit between two eff'd up individuals, who have a reason greater than themselves to commit to making things work. whether it be children, financial...or just caring so deeply for that person, that you wouldn't have the heart to ever abandon them...physically, or emotionally. Call it cynical. i call it realism.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Passive Suicide, how's this for a differnet twist on things. I believe with a "soul mate", you just have compatibility on many levels, much more so than typical friendship or coupleship. It's compatibility to an incredible level and respect rarely will be an issue for "soul mates."

  • caliber
    caliber

    I once seen a photo of a child born in a Nazi concentration camp; I was simply numb-founded that

    amid-st all this suffering, pain and starvation a perfect beautiful child was born !

    The force of life does not see doubt or impossibilities , but it merely presses on with

    all it's might to survive , to live! I will always seek to at least grasp the coattails of this

    most POWERFUL FORCE !

    caliber

  • llbh
    llbh

    Thought i woud btt beacause i enjoyed it and found it so apposite

    David

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Definitely YES. I've been married to Chris for 25 years and we felt an immediate connection when we met. Oh sure, a lot of that was purely sexual, but we've always been friends. We can have a conversation with just a look and finish sentences for each other. We are alike and yet different and thus complement each other.

    It's pretty cool!

    Nina

  • passive suicide
    passive suicide

    Well..........to that i need to bring up the 'Change ' factor..... We all change as we grow both spiritually, as well as physically. What felt like a connection beyond all comprehension in the past, can turn quite suddenly (it may seem) into " I just don't know you anymore....', or "You've changed". It may be even more subtle in that one persons interests have changed over time, and that connection has been lost with that. While I agree that respect is one thing that will help a relationship stay together....I cannot agree that it will KEEP a relationship together. In fact quite the opposite. both people may see the changes each have made through life, and realize it would be unfair to each other to carry on like the connection between them has not been effected . When it becomes apparent that with those changes has been growth in different directions....and a certain amount of unhappiness. Who can have the heart to stay committed in something that brings mutual discontent?

  • Hope4Others
    Hope4Others
    When it becomes apparent that with those changes has been growth in different directions....and a certain amount of unhappiness. Who can have the heart to stay committed in something that brings mutual discontent?

    I certainly agree with you there, people change, interests can change over the years and it is very possible to go in different directions in your wants and needs. It is also possible

    that the other can no longer fill those needs. I guess that's why quality time & spending time communicating is of utmost importance. I have seen many a couple because

    of schedules just seem to pass in the night. Relationships take work no one is perfect but love and hard work can help make it a success if both are willing.

    cheers

    hope4others

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    I like the term kindred spirits. And yes, I do believe in both.

    momz

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