Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw

by reniaa 223 Replies latest jw experiences

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  reniaa

  Oh dear so many posts and not anough time with a new baby to reply to all....:s

  Right let me address some things people think i am going back for and why i shouldn't...

  Going back to be loved part of a family or a boyfriend -no, I am happy enough with the friendships I have so i will allow for new friendships but it isn't an issue for me as to why to go back. Also I don't want a new man in my life atm so going back to avoid a new relationship might be a better arguement, as I know men are men, and a single mum outside of JW's would make men see me as a easy lay not to commit too, but inside JW's men will be still be put off by my situation. (am i cynical about men? yes I am but thats all men in and out of JW's lol)

  Going back because i'm scared of armegaddon or outside society - I would say i'm disillutioned with an outside society that that sexualises everything, making people think sexual intimacy is more important than emotional intimacy, The bible makes me think we are in "end of days" atm the scripture I can't get out of my head is "Lovers of pleasures rather than God", armegeddon itself doesn't scare me so much as I want a relationship with God that is correct.

  Is jesus God? - What puts me off other Christian religions is the idea of the trinity basically making Jesus into God, I have studied the scriptures personally in the bible using, 3 different versions of bible and nothing I have read for me shows jesus is God, yes like the above posters shows no one can "know God but through Jesus" but that doesn't mean jesus and Jehovah are one being, in fact the way those scriptures keep defining Father and son as separate would for me uphold the JW view in this respect. Also these scriptures mean jesus opened the path for us to have a relationship with jehovah which maybe why we can use his name and know him. I was surprised how few are the religions in christianity are mono-theistic, this for me is the strongest arguement for JWs and always has been.

  JW lies - there no getting around the fact that in predicting the "End of times" and swapping and changing with "generations" and 'new light' they have lost a lot of credibility, I always knew this would be an issue even as a young JW and probs why I have not as much issue with it as some, its one i struggled with even before the generation stuff, I can remember even thinking as a child they were getting into hot water, especially as none can know time and place and the best we can be is in expectation.

  Well with the above the only way to address it is to find an alternative Christian religion that has it right! and that is what I did but find I have to address the faith teachings of other Christian faiths first, that they all have there own set of teachings that have to be looked at individually, and after looking I can't say they are any better especially with a view to teachings but i won't specify because my conclusions are from personal observation and thats all anyone can do.

  (btw if you hold the lies JW's teach against them why is it so easy to accept the proven lies of Christmas etc? i wonder about this with people that throw the lies thing at me a lot? is a lie more acceptable because more people accept it?)

  I am a real person! and my struggles are real but I am pro-witness atm so what I write will reflect this.

  To be honest I can't see anyone being effected by my words on here, from what I read most people take the comfortable postion that i'm deluded, too brain-washed etc I would argue against both because conclusions i've come to is from researching the bible again. I will say Jgnat maybe right in that I have looked for reasons to support my set postion already but if the arguements had been strong enough I could have been swayed.

  I don't like that ultimately my position is Jw's are the best of a bad bunch and allow me to have a relationship with Jehovah as well as jesus which no other christian religions offer. Give me a better option and I'll look into it. but bear in mind you have to show me that another faith has it right doctrinely.

  Making my own religion isn't an option mainly because i don't feel inspired to set up a new christian faith, but i do think the 'not forsaking the gathering together' important, isolation does breed problems.
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  Eyes Open

  Hi reniaa. It was good to read your reply.

  I don't like that ultimately my position is Jw's are the best of a bad bunch and allow me to have a relationship with Jehovah as well as jesus which no other christian religions offer. Give me a better option and I'll look into it. but bear in mind you have to show me that another faith has it right doctrinely.

  Firstly, another faith that has it right doctrinely? Another faith? Do you mean to say you have been willing to study the bible with more than just the NWT and WT literature, including bible-related information freely available on the interent, and still believe that Jehovah's Witnesses have anything like doctrinal justification?

  If so, please, please, please read this book (links to Amazon): How to Read the Bible: History, Prophecy, Literature - Why Modern Readers Need to Know the Difference, and What It Means for Faith Today by Steven L. McKenzie.

  Secondly, why should anyone here have to hand you an organised religion on a plate for you to have a relationship with God and his son? If the best you can offer your creator and Jesus Christ is "I picked that one because it was the best of a bad bunch", I would suggest you give some serious thought to what is more important to you - what God has supposedly said in the bible or the need to be integrated in a group.

  It sounds like you want to do what is right. It also sounds like you need to be a lot more open-minded when you study the bible, or else you're going to end up back in a high control group (go ahead and compare its control techniques to other groups such as Scientology) masquerading as a Christian religion.

  All the best. Please don't take this decision lightly - life is much better when you know you're living it for the right reasons i.e. not solely to fit in with and please other people.
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  digderidoo

  My last meeting was around 5 or 6 years ago and that was the Memorial which was the first time for a couple of years. Even now i go through periods where i would like to go back, even though i don't necessarily believe in God. For me, it is more a feeling of comfort. Some years ago my brother (x jw) went to a witness funeral, he came back saying it was like putting on an old pair of slippers. Something he felt comfortable in and something he was used to. At the same time he said it was nice to put those slippers on at times, but now he has a new pair. This sums it up for me, the meetings for me were a place i could get comfort in, surrounded by friends i grew up with, almost an extension of my home. I tell myself when i go through periods of wanting to go back, that its more to do with something thats going on in my life at present and feeling a need to be within my comfort zone than anything else.

  I wonder whether this is the same for you?

  Paul
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  R.Crusoe

  Reniaa,

  You seem to be pressuring yourself into having an organised religion to be part of.

  If your inner self has an ego or pain body which needs an organised faith to feed its life force and overthrow the real inner you (which may be very neglected and uncertain of standing alone) then I see how you may be compelled to return to JWs which I also suspect you know is not the truth that you allow yourself to accept it as on returning.

  What you feel is a common overpowering reaction to your life situation. Becoming aware of loneliness being acceptable to god - the god within you - and the seeming lack of 'life' being perfect, are things peculiar to your life experience. It's as if more should be happening and you're always searching for it. Always seeking something in the next day or weeks instead of the moment you are in being perfect and normal and the absolute intention of the cosmos. It is not revolutionary, but just like a flower, beauty and divinity are to be found in the silence and simplicity of existence.

  There is no great adventure that you must discover. In fact it is within you as you rest in your armchair. It is within the child that you hold. What you seek is in your midst!
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  jgnat

  I will say Jgnat maybe right in that I have looked for reasons to support my set postion already but if the arguements had been strong enough I could have been swayed.

  Oh, honey, we've barely just got started. Like I've said before, so far you've picked the weakest arguments. When you have the time and energy, I'd be willing to take on a tough one. I wouldn't mind following the argument that it is an abomination to pass the emblems rather than partake, as Jesus has not yet returned, and there is a false division of believers by the Witnesses. On thorough study, the bible just will not support two classes of Christians.

  In the meantime, enjoy your little family, go for walks, and smell the flowers. There's a great, beautiful life to be lived, and I do believe you have the vigor to take it on with both hands.
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  real one

  Is jesus God? - What puts me off other Christian religions is the idea of the trinity basically making Jesus into God, I have studied the scriptures personally in the bible using, 3 different versions of bible and nothing I have read for me shows jesus is God, yes like the above posters shows no one can "know God but through Jesus" but that doesn't mean jesus and Jehovah are one being, in fact the way those scriptures keep defining Father and son as separate would for me uphold the JW view in this respect. Also these scriptures mean jesus opened the path for us to have a relationship with jehovah which maybe why we can use his name and know him. I was surprised how few are the religions in christianity are mono-theistic, this for me is the strongest arguement for JWs and always has been.

  This statement shows you have no understanding of scripture. You would rather let jw teach you about God and Jesus instead of reading the Bible for yourself and asking God's Holy Spirit to guide you to understanding. Oh Im sorry you can't be guided by Holy Spirit, only the gb.

  SAD
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  OnTheWayOut

  a single mum outside of JW's would make men see me as a easy lay not to commit too, but inside JW's men will be still be put off by my situation.

  That's a rough reason to go back. Don't make yourself an "easy lay." They will learn.
  I look at this as "If I am not a JW, men will assume I am easy, if I am a JW, men will avoid me."
  If you want men to avoid you, just avoid them. If you just want to find a "nice guy" it will take
  time, but it really has nothing to do with JW's.

  the scripture I can't get out of my head is "Lovers of pleasures rather than God", armegeddon itself doesn't scare me so much as I want a relationship with God that is correct.

  There are plenty of "moral" people out there. There are plenty of immoral people out there.
  While you are still searching for your "correct beliefs" group, try hanging out with groups
  of people that support a cause that is not religious.
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  triplestrength

  Go Back if you feel it will make you happy.

  BUT I garuntee you will never be happy there because it's all built on lies and rubbish.

  if you like hearing lies and believing them to be true, go back.

  if the future you want sacrifices the present, go back (it's not the real future but so what?).

  If you want conditional friends, go back.

  If you want to be dominated by humans, go back.

  if you want to cast off your own personality and be someone else, go back.

  if you want others to judge your life and emotionally blackmail you, go back.

  if serving an organization makes you happy, go back.

  However if you want a LIFE that you live for you, then go out there and get one, because if you go back then YOU have given your life to them to control and decide for you what is right and wrong.

  Please don't go back, the price is way too high.
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  sass_my_frass

  All the best!
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  isaacaustin

  I thought long and hard about posting this but the mis-information on this site finally persuaded me, I already accept many may not accept what I say on face value and get their appologist pens ready for making sure no pro-witness propaganda slips through the net on this site but here goes......

  I've been on this forum for a few months my first post was about how i was thinking of returning to Jw's and at my sisters recommendation to look at this site for both sides of the story before taking that step.

  I faded from Jw's 10/11 years ago now I left my hubby at the time divorced him to going on to have more relationships and kids, I was definately given the impression after asking on this site and with what I read that if I tried to return I might face DF or at least a JC but definately a couple of elders questioning me over what i've been upto these last few years - None of these have happened

  I talked with an old JW friend (yes i do have then and she never shunned me quite happily accepted an offer of coffee from me and my asking for a chat) I told her i was interested in going back and was very frank about what I done in the last 10 years but not sure how returning was done now, she quite happily said she go ask for me to find out.

  Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

  Quite likely you would not be dfed. An offer of a "Bible study", probably consisting of the "Bible teach book" which is the WT interpretaion of the Bible will be strongly pushed on you. I do not see how this proves that the org is God's channel of communication or the one true relgion.

  If you can prove to me that this is God's channel of communication (not simply assert) I will accept and go back myself.

  Can you do this? I am listening.