Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw (page 6)

shell69

Purely MHO, but if your returning to the same congregation or even a local one; and in your curcumstances with a few children. a baby I would say that the elders are most certainly going to want to have a chat.

They will be considering the influnece your lifestyle may have upon other sisters particularly the young ones..... They cannot allow the impression that its okay to go off, have a worldy life, have a few kiddies and return like the prodigal son... and nothing be said about it.

But good luck to you if thats what you want.

Shell

reniaa

Thankyou for your replies everyone, i've been busy over bank holiday weekend and so had little time to reply,

You've all made really good points I fully expect to answer a few questions from elders eventually, I have nothing to hide, I left JW's because i thought trying to find love outside of JW was the answer, I now find that outside comes with it's own set of problems, If i would call Jw's 'Strict' as word to describe them, I would call outside 'Selfish' on the whole, to describe what feel is the prevailing mood encouraged by TV and internet driven cultures.

"Do I think WTS have the 'Truth" hmmm difficult one! the sharp scalpal used on this forum to cut open teachings of Jw's has to be equally applied to other religions if we are to be fair, and unfortunaltly none suffer well from the pruning. Just because a change in a teaching is 1800 years old doesn't make it less a teaching of men, if it hasn't any real biblical roots like the 'trinity' and any Christian religion using it has to be answerable, just doing something because everyone else does it isn't a good enough excuse when we have the bible as a reference point. I currently think Jw's follow the bible better than most other Christian religions that aspire to follow the actual teachings (having had a taste of the consequences of fornication and adultery I can see in most cases the consequences outweighs the benefits especially if you look at prevailing morale trends). Christian religions that just follow jesus and don't look to closely to his words other than forgiveness don't appeal to me with their people-pleasing wishy-washiness.

You guys have shown me valid issues that can be taking against JW's and i have taken them on board, If i go back it will be with knowledge it is not as blindly as you seem to think it is.

All this been said it's early days for me and I will keep you all posted :) I don't expect it will be quick because of my personal circumstances but again Thankyou for all you imput and when i have more time i will try and answer some replies more personally.

Ironically it was people on this site that said "you sound like aJW you ought go back" that was one of the pushes for me lol

quietlyleaving

Renaia

I haven't read alll of the thread - just your first and last post so forgive me if this has already been said.

I can identfy with you as a mother with a baby - while you are deciding whether to go back please check out mother and baby groups in your area. Check out different ones if need be.

The attractive thing about JWs is that you get everything in one package - association, worship, identity etc. Plus you are constantly reminded that you are right and have the truth. Everyone talks about the same readymade stuff all the time.

I am encouraging you to put together your own package - that is much harder but is safer and more rewarding in the long run. The JW package is designed for short term use (armageddon arond the corner) so it is very basic/restrictive and can be dangerous because they do not consider the needs of vulnerable people, like children for example or mothers with babies.

You are an intelligent young lady who it seems to me can take on challenge (you have done that often enough here). Decide your own meaning like Jesus encouraged and use whatever available resources that there are around you in your own community.

doofdaddy

Reniaa

I have read most of the stuff you have written and have read all of this. I can only come to the conclusion that when you return, you will (once more) become the victim of another's actions. In my opinion, the issue is not to do with your religious choices, it is more to do with your passive attitude to life and unwillingness to except responsibility for your personal decisions.

Seriously, I recommend therapy around your relationship and attitude to your parents.

The jws will not fill that void nor will "the world" until you grow up.

nelly136

i wouldnt worry about your circumstances, they've offered you a bible study so that means theyre prepared to come to you and fit around your schedule.

R.Crusoe

Reniaa,

Some of us humans look for the best of a set of poor choices and go with the best choice for perceived self fulfilment.

But if that choice makes claims about itself which are lies I personally cannot sanction it - even if it is a best fit for me. I would rather suffer the poor mans reality than deceive my inner self with an enhanced one.

So it depends upon how each of us choose to live I suppose.

I know some people who would choose another mate for financial reasons and kid themselves it was for less selfish notions.

Sometimes spirituality and/or lifestyle amounts to the same sets of choices. We may kid ourselves we follow god when in fact we seek sanctity within a group of accepting others - a tribal feeling that we belong to friendly others. It feels more safe and wholesome than scouting through life as a solitary!

My advice is to see it for what it is and not to deceive yourself that you choose the unique divinity of the cosmos so you can aquire a friendly set of aquaintances! If it's friends you have found then realise that's all it amounts to - albeit you have to follow their guidebook of daily life!

fifi40

Reniaa

It does seem you are trying to find somewhere where you feel whole or complete, a sense of belonging............the scary thing is I dont think a person, bunch of people or religion give us that and certainly not a religion that is as confused and questionable as the witnesses.

The question I want to ask you is this

If you go back and become a fully paid up member and then one of your kids or yourself needs a blood transfusion what will you do?

I know this is an emotive question but it is a hard fact that some have to face and unless you are absolutely sure that the JWs are right then why would you put you and yours in this position?

Maybe it is time to start looking at who you are and why. Maybe it is time to search your own deep motivation and question what is really going on with you.

Take care on your quest

Love

Fifi

jgnat

You are a very interesting lady, reniaa. I wish we lived close enough that we could go out for coffee. No offence, though, but your arguments are very weak. On every subject you have brought up, you gloss over the protests and concerns that are expressed and run straight to the straw man. After you beat up the straw man, you declare your conclusion the victor. This, to me, makes me think that you usually have your mind made up before you leap. This may be a lifetime pattern.

I, for one, did not predict an instant JC for you. I did encourage you to go to the Memorial, just to observe how people behaved. You were silent on that point, but you did let me know that your (evangelical) boyfriend was horrified by the ritual. You haven't really explored where that horror comes from. I'd used the word abomination, but you've ignored that as well.

Please do keep in touch. You have an interesting life.

Mary

Reniaa said: I talked with an old JW friend (yes i do have then and she never shunned me quite happily accepted an offer of coffee from me and my asking for a chat) I told her i was interested in going back and was very frank about what I done in the last 10 years but not sure how returning was done now, she quite happily said she go ask for me to find out. Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

'Explore the open doubts' you have about the religion? Um, you realize of course that this 'exploration' that the JW's encourage can only be done with literature that the top guns have "approved", right? If you make any attempt to openly question any of their doctrines by means of non-Witness literature, they'll come down on you like a ton of bricks. For what it's worth, there are still a couple of things that the WTS teaches that I agree with.....one of them is the Trinity. I don't believe the bible teaches a triune God. However, just because I think they have this particular doctrine right, doesn't mean they have "the Truth", simply because it's easily proven that they have numerous other doctrines wrong.

I don't think I've ever really read any of your posts, but it sounds as though you are struggling with life outside the religion in the real world-----not an uncommon occurrance, given the fact that the Witnesses, like so many other cults, have their members live in a bubble. When they step outside the bubble it's sometimes very difficult to deal with life outside the familiarity that they've grown used to. You're remembering 'fondly' the 'agape love' that they teach you is found nowhere else in the world except at the meetings, when in reality their love and friendship is based soley on if you're an active member of the congregation. If you need others to think for you, to tell you how to live your life and what to believe, then by all means go back to the Hall. If the social aspect of it is more appealing to you than truth, then this cult is the one for you.

One more thing: if you admit to them that you've been on an "apostate" website, they may not disfellowship you (depending on how repentent you appear), but you certainly will be closely monitored for years on end and that information will almost certainly go on your Publishers Records card, just in case you become a "problem" down the road.

ninja

if you're gonna go back,go back...stop bleating on about it.....but you're off your bloody head....only my opinion of course....he he

Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw

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