I think people create their own realities, and there are definitely people that find it much easier to follow and have their lives ordered around than those that dare to think for themselves. Even when armed with truth, honesty, facts, a person will choose something what is comfortable and easy. JW makes it easy in that if her family is in, associations are in, the cult is far reaching - we all suffer from it occasionally - family still in, friends that won't speak to us. I don't agree with anything she's saying, but I do understand.
I want to relay a story of my experience with someone who reminds me so much Reeina. About three years into working in social service, particularly the homeless population, which to me is some of the most fascinating people in the world, I came across a client who needed some attention.
She was part of a white couple, both very well known in the homeless crowd, he had dubbed himself her boyfriend and protector because where I worked the homeless population was primarily black and hispanic. He came to my office one day and said "Jane" had not used the shower in about two weeks and refused to change her clothes. Now, Jane could have been a model, I mean drop dead gorgeous, she was about 45, of course you could see the lines and worry in her face, extremely beautiful, but very quiet. She would attend some of the workshops I gave, and she would always eat the food we set out, but she kept to herself, I wasn't one to push. However, when one of my clients came to me about something going on, I paid attention.
So when Jane came passed my office, I asked her if she wanted to split a meal with me. She knew me well enough to not be suspicious, and she came in and we chatted. She had a fascinating life, had lived all over the country, came from Arizonia I believe, and worked as a hotel maid for many years until the hotel burnt down and then she wasn't able to pay for her apartment anymore, she started living in the street. Somehow she had gotten to the state I was working in and met up with the guy, let's call him "Max", who had dubbed himself her boyfriend and protector. I liked Max quite a bit, he and I had some lovely lively conversations and he seemed more of a renegade than anything else. He always had clean clothes, took a shower everyday, went from day centers through the day and slept in a parking garage at night that the homeless people had some sort of unsigned agreement. Max had a bit of mental illness, and so did Jane, but they were functional and not dangerous to anyone.
She told me Max was getting on her nerves because a new white guy had come into the area and took a liking to Jane and Max was very protective of her. Whenever this new guy would start talking to Jane, Max would freak out. So in a very passive agressive way, she just stopped caring, wouldn't shower - although she would still hang around him. But she told me, he was getting crazy with his paranoia and she was going to leave him if he didn't stop.
I asked Jane if I could help her. And for two weeks straight, I made phone calls, took her places, I got her $1500 dollars in emergency money from Welfare. I found her a place to live, a beautiful home that a woman had opened up to homeless single women. I even found her a job. A JOB where she wouldn't make huge money, but she would make enough to support herself. I was so excited. She wouldn't have to live in the parking garage, she would be able to support herself, she would be an independent person.
I received the check at my office, because they didn't have a mailing address and couldn't afford a post office box. She was to come see me and I was to take her to her new place, and pick out some nice clothes from a thrift store, for her work that started the next week. Jane never showed up. A week went by, two weeks, three weeks - Max of course told me that she was avoiding me and that they had made up. Finally, she couldn't stay away, we had a big seminar, with loads of food.
I asked if I could speak to her, she agreed. I wanted to give her the check, she refused. So I asked her why she didn't want the money, why she didn't want to live in the house with a few other women, and she said, "well I don't want welfare, that's welfare" and then she said, "well I don' t want to live with other women in a house" and I said, "but you have your own room" and she just looked at me, "I'm happy with my routine, I have been doing this for 14 years." I said, "you would rather live and sleep in a parking garage, then in a warm house with your own bathroom?" She didn't say anything, because what I was saying was completely true and logical, but she had made up her mind.
In one weeks time she was right back to her routine, with Max by her side.
Whenever you see a JW that has been doing it for years considering going back, think of Jane and sleeping in the parking garage.