Diary of a thinking to return ex-Jw

by reniaa 223 Replies latest jw experiences

  • nelly136

    sounds wonderful, which meeting you going to wet your feet with? you must be gagging at the bit to meet up with all your old friends and at least you'll have your coffee mate to sit with you for moral support.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Reniaa this is something that you should be very aware of and that is that they will try and goat you in toward them by many of varied tactics

    at their disposal, if its good Christian men that are available to you or the phony pretentious wholesomeness of the

    association and friendship ......yada yada

    The love bombing tactic is just one of their emotional tools that they will use, all smiles and handshakes at first.

    You stated in your first post that people here have made misconceptions and wrongful accusations at the JWS, I'm wondering

    what they were, perhaps we can discus some of those ?

    Have some faith in your own personal integrity and character.

  • Bring_the_Light


    DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. People will give you heartfelt advice based on their own experience and prejudice. It is your life. I think the sum of "OUR" advice is to keep hold of your own thoughts, don't let JW's or anyone push you around. Social controls and "enforced truth" have nothing to do with God, they are the tools of man.

    I don't want to lose you (or anyone) from the community of Ex-JW's but it would be hypocritical to chastize you and demand loyalty to "US", so I wish you the best. The institution of disgruntled Ex-JWs will always be here when you need us.


  • BluesBrother

    I can see why he is called Mickey Mouse

    If you are seriously thinking of going back you should not be on this site.

    Of course you are welcome here at any time, to say what you like...Do not judge us all by what some tell you. There is no requirement here to be "fitly united in the same mind"

    It is true that bodies of elders vary so much. It is my belief that the American experience is that elders are more aggressive over there than we see over here - as a general rule. When I served in that role once we had someone come back and confess to stuff while he was out, but we still had him back without any discipline ...

    If you really feel that this is what you want - then do it...After all the information about false teachings and misconduct of the WT, you still want to be one of them??? , OK we are all free to do what we want.

    I suggest though that it may be harder than you think. Every time that something is said , (eg. like the 607 date) a voice in your head will tell you that "it is not true"..One cannot unlearn what you already know..

    But, All the very best wishes - and you can always visit us here , but be discreet with the 'brothers'

  • Awakened07

    You've latched onto a couple opinions someone told you on JWD and came away with this:

    "THIS SITE led me to believe would happen".

    See the huge logic leap?

    You've gone from a couple opinions to "THIS SITE".

    This is very typical of JWs and I was no different before. It's US against THEM. Black and white.

    I have not said it would happen. Thus, not the entire site has said it.

    This is a problem for us 'apostates'. If one 'apostate' does or says something that is wrong, it's automatically inferred that all 'apostates' think the same. It's... 'apostacist' (like 'racist').

    'Apostates' are not one, homogeneous group of people. Not everyone here speaks for me. I don't speak for them. This is actually a difficult concept to some JWs. I had the same thought pattern when I first came here. I expected to find another 'group' I could join. But this is not a 'group'. Sure we have certain things in common and we can find friends here, but we're not a homologous group with the same thoughts and opinions.

    I understand how you think, reniaa. I had the same mindset when I was fresh out, and maybe a year or two thereafter.

    You'll have to decide what to do. I would personally perhaps rather have joined some hobby ring or club, but...

    'Your mileage may vary' as they say. Some JW congregations are better places to be than others. But you will have to agree with what the Watchtower says, at least publicly. Of course you will be allowed to have doubts, but you will be advised to get over them by studying more. If you don't find the answer from those studies, you'll have to bury the concern in the back of your brain and hope it'll be answered in the end somehow, and not share it with others. Many Witnesses do this. For some, the amount of unanswered questions simply overflow the brain in the end.

    If you go back, I wish you a good life for you and your children. I see how you would want to go back from a social perspective, getting friends and a common ground with other people, an anchor in life. I believe that can be found elsewhere and in places where you can be true to yourself and your own opinions, but that's perhaps not for everyone. Maybe that was a stupid comment; when I was active myself, I knew people called us brain washed. I knew people thought we were naive. I didn't see how I didn't think for myself. I said "But I do think for myself!". It's hard to see when you're in the middle of it. Inside that box, it certainly seems like one is free to think for oneself. There's just so much outside of that box of knowledge. Sometimes one or two items from outside the box seep in, and you see arguments from the world outside. You read the WTS books and magazines to find something to stuff the hole with. Sometimes it'll be successful, sometimes not. Then comes cognitive dissonance.


    In day to day life, you'll mostly not experience this, so I shouldn't overemphasize it. You'll go door-to-door with a smiling, happy sister, you'll go to meetings and conventions and find many smiling, happy brothers and sisters, and you may most of the time feel happy yourself. Difficulties in everyday life will be attributed to 'this wicked system' and how you're being persecuted by Satan and his demons if not by mere people. You'll live in the hope that someday soon, all that will be gone and you'll be vindicated in your beliefs. Of course - one doesn't say that out loud. Out loud, it's "Jehovah's name will be vindicated".

    On this site, the arguments against JWs and the WBTS are often centered around things that have been said in the literature and from the podium. Prophecies that didn't come true, etc. Sometimes arguments from a theological standpoint, arguing various scriptures etc. We'll argue that the Watchtower believes they were selected in 1919, but didn't really teach much of what they do today back then. And on and on.

    To someone like you, none of that matters I think. You're more 'loose' in your beliefs I think, and many are. You probably rely on the 'core' beliefs, like no trinity, no hell, no soul, the name Jehovah, the worldwide preaching work. Anything outside of that is not so important, and if there are things that are wrong outside of that, it's caused by fallible men not getting God's message right the first time, or the light getting brighter. Or maybe even that Jehovah doesn't really care much if we get all the details right, as long as those core things are. Sometimes I think we here at this site tend to forget that people have that perspective. I think many more or less active JWs share it. You'd say the Bible's authors were clearly fallible, so why not the WBTS? Well, they claim to be God's only channel on earth today. If so, it is a little strange that God himself has a problem getting his message across, and has to go back and forth. Even those who say the Bible authors were fallible men will say that the Bible is either infallible (as the WBTS actually says), or that at least the red thread of the Bible is infallible and the true word of God. If even that is put into question by you because you say "Well, they're fallible, so even their claim to be God's only channel could be wrong", then what is there left to believe in? Whatever you decide could be true? How wishy-washy can you allow yourself to be within that system? [edited to clarify] -That was not a quote of one of reniaa's posts, just an example of mine. [/edited]

    Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, which was not my intent. I wish you good luck and a good life whatever you end up choosing.

  • Quandry

    Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

    Well, I wonder where she got the authority to say that this is all you have to do? She is obviously not an elder in the congregation, is she? How can she assure you of this?

    At any rate, you must do what you must do. Maybe you can finally get answers to questions. If you do, please come back and share with us. One I'd like to know is, why oh why was the WTS associating itself with the United Nations for many years, and not letting the congregation know about it? If someone asks them, they risk getting df'd. Why not let everyone know if there is nothing wrong with it?

    Yes, please do come back and let us know how things turn out.

    Also, will you be shunning your sister like a good witness should?

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles

    Result! she came back this week and said "all I had to do was goto meetings again" and an offer of a study was there for me if i wanted it to explore the open doubts that I had expressed i now had.

    Well, I wonder where she got the authority to say that this is all you have to do? She is obviously not an elder in the congregation, is she? How can she assure you of this?

    That's exactly what I was thinking!

    Honestly speaking, that sister's really not in any authority to guarantee you such a thing ... she must really be desperate for a bible study. Don't be surprised when you find out she's targeting your kids as bible studies as well.

  • MissingLink

    Be honest with your elders. Be honest with us. Be honest with yourself.

    We'll welcome you back once the elders have had enough of your honesty.

  • Warlock

    Every religion has it's members, ex-members, pros, cons, etc.

    Every religion has made changes in doctrine. Some more, some less.

    You will never find a religion that is 100% true in all of its teachings and you will never find a religious organization that does not have problems of one kind or another.

    I say, find whatever you are comfortable with and go there.

    J.W.'s are NOT the only religion that has caused pain in the lives of some of its members.


  • heathen

    reniaa- I don't recall seeing any fire and brim stone posts from anybody about reinstatement .It's the six months of sitting in the back and being ignored that most feel is pointless and meaningless. There's no scriptural reason for it , I think the bible is saying that if one is still acting wickedly they should be removed all together but once someone has admitted the mistake there should be no reason to hold anything against them . The WTBTS even lies that it's a form of shunning when it clearly is what the Amish do .The apostles also mentioned to not let the sun go down while not resolving the issue . ephesians 4:26

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