Your most memorable Kingdom Hall meeting disruptions!

by easyreader1970 109 Replies latest jw friends

  • Hortensia

    I remember the bathtub in the apartment over the KH overflowing, the ceiling fell in on the folks in the KH below. Once a drunk came in and drank the memorial wine. But the funniest was my own nephew - a little guy who was being hauled out by his mother for a spanking. As she passed me he threw himself on the floor and grabbed my legs and start screaming "save me - save me!" My sister tells it as a funny story now but she was embarassed then.

  • david_10

    During the mid-seventies, there was a population explosion in our congregation and I recall that we had around 35 children of pre-school age. Needless to say, the path to the side door was well-worn, if you catch my drift. The neighbors called several times and spoke with the elders and left messages that they were noticing our hard-line stance with the kids and felt that we were being too harsh. However the elders paid no attention, and we all felt that we had a scriptural basis for letting the beatings continue. Imagine the shock and surprise, though, when the police came into the hall one Thursday night and stopped the meeting. They stayed for around 20 minutes and interviewed some elders and parents, but they finally did leave with only a warning handed out. It was extremely humiliating, and, for me at least, a wake-up call-----I don't think I ever spanked my kids again. Ever. Even when they may have needed it. It was a different world 30 years ago, but if this were to happen today, I don't think the police would leave so easily. I think that Child Welfare Services would be called and a lot of parents would be on the carpet getting a huge dose of their own medicine.

    But here's the interesting part of that incident: Do you think that the congregation learned it's lesson and began acting more discreetly and humanely? Yes and no. At the next Service Meeting, a special needs talk was given discussing the situation, and the elders decreed that we should not take our children outside to discipline them anymore; instead we were to take them into the library and give them their whippings in there!!


  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse
    During the mid-seventies, there was a population explosion in our congregation and I recall that we had around 35 children of pre-school age.

    You mean the one right after 1975 when everyone decided they may as well have children as Armageddon hadn't come?

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    There was a story going around a few years ago but I'm not sure if it was an urban legend. It involved a sister wearing a belt standing up and getting someone's wig caught on the buckle. Hilarity ensued and someone fell off their chair and broke their collarbone.


    Picture Lucy and Ethel. My best friend and I were giving a demonstration. She was really nervous and had written notes on her HANDS. I didn't know until we got on stage and almost lost it when I saw the writing. I did manage to keep it together, that is until she started turning her hands sideways and upside down to read while holding the mike. I totally lost it, everyone was laughing and it took a couple minutes to regain my composure. I took the mike from her and we tried to take up where we left off. I fell apart 2 more times because she continued to read from her now mikeless hands and finally couldn't continue and had to leave the stage.

  • bluesbreaker59

    OK, I have a couple, man I wished I would've seen some cute "Playboy" asses though... damn...

    At my hall, I remember being 7 and a younger child (5 maybe) farted REALLY LOUD, and I laughed and laughed about that, I finally got hauled out, but not spanked.

    My grandma was a "silent killer", and lots of times she would be ripping them off during the meeting, and she'd lean sideways to do it. All of a sudden you'd be breathing in the most foul smelling air you've ever smelled. Never really caused a disruption though.

    We had some bums join us, and they'd come and go as they pleased for a few weeks, then we never saw them again, apparently they were invited by the mentally handicapped brother.

    There was a mentally handicapped "brother" that used to sit in the back of the hall, and he had a steel plate in his head, apparently he was in Vietnam. He would have "spells" during the meeting, and then piss himself at the end of it. During the spell he sounded like a little kid riding an amusement park ride, yelling "WEEEEE", "Yippy- Yippy" and laughing like a maniac. He also wasn't allowed to drink pop or have sugar, and constantly we'd see him around town drinking huge bottles of "Hillbilly Holler" or "Hee Haw", both were generic Mt. Dew.

    One time a chubby young sister, probably 16 or 17 was trying to sit down to give her talk on the school, and her dress kept coming up, like 3 or 4 times, she tried to fix it, finally she stood up, exposing her blue polka dot panties and chubby, cottage cheese thighs, I nearly vomited. She was also terrible about sitting at book studies with her legs spread wide, her older sister constantly tried to get her to close her legs.

    There was a sister at my old hall with TERRIBLE B.O., I mean it would choke a maggot!!!! She was young and not fat, like early 20's, and she had terrible "female odor" too!!! I could stand to be within 10 feet of her, because it would overwhelm you.

    One time an older sister messed up during her talk, and said really loudly "Oh Bummer!!!"

    When my little cousin (3 - 4 year old) and his best "hall" friend, whenever they misbehaved, and their moms would haul them out, they'd both start begging and screaming, and say, "NO, NO, not the library, I'll be good, I'll be good"

    Of course the greatest though was my step-grandpa calling on "Sister Payne , in the rear" I had to excuse myself for my laughing fit

  • WTWizard

    Probably the biggest Kingdumb Hell disruption I have seen was when a visiting speaker didn't show up for the Public Talk. They had to take the Washtowel study first, and then a local hounder ended up having to deliver the talk. Unfortunately, it was not terribly messed up.

    They have had local needs parts about people starting fires in the bathrooms, however. Too bad the whole Kingdumb Hell didn't burn to the ground.

  • TrekkerJW

    You don't know how great this thread is for me today! I'm a bit down because I just found out that I'm invited to my brother's wedding but not the reception in July; it will be my first time in a Kingdumb Hell in four years. This thread was a great pick-me-up. I guess laughter really is the best medicine!

    To keep this post on topic, my grandma had an incident with her skirt at one meeting. I was beside her and as we stood up to sing the song between the TMS and SM, her skirt fell down. She was wearing a slip, fortunately. I just rolled my eyes and kept singing (I was a bit of a stoic in my teens); I think only the family in the row behind us noticed, they laughed through the first verse or so.

  • BurnTheShips

    The CO passed out on the platform.


  • legalchickie

    One Sunday meeting about 10 apostates decided to visit our KH. They spread out and seated in various places within the Hall. One of the men sat on the front row during the talk and visably read the Sunday times right in front of the speaker. What a hoot!

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