Spike: Quit crucifying yourself in the name of this organization. Find a loving, inclusive, kind, spiritual organization that fills your needs. I understand that self-harming mindset you've been lulled into. Don't buy into it.
Were you or someone you know sexually molested by a Jehovah's Witness ?
by flipper 381 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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VoidEater
It's a fundamental part of surviving abuse - sexual, religious, etc. Particularly for a child raised with sexual abuse as an ongoing part of life, it seems that it's your fault, that you deserve it, that you asked for it (as irrational as that sounds), or on the other side of that grief-stricken place heading into anger and just wanting to strike out at the world. Here's a lyric that has proved helpful to me:
Crucify - Tori Amos
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my somach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out nowI've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Just what God needs, one more victimWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being
In chains
ChainsGot a kick for a dog begging for love
Gotta have my suffering so that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, he says will you ever learn
Youre just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the birdWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being
In chains
ChainsPlease be
Save meLooking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Where are those angels when you need themWhy do we crucify ourselves
Everyday I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being
In chains
ChainsWhy do I crucify myself...
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flipper
VOIDEATER- I do believe I remember you mentioning your experience a couple years ago- but it's good for newbies to see as they can comprehend just how much child abuse has taken place in the witness organization. There is no way elders or others could expect a person to forgive what abuse happened to them. I'm sorry you suffered through that friend - and I hope you are doing better these days and are healing
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awaretoday
VoidEater
Great song to pick in your case but you don't need to feel guilty you didn't do it. Someone without a heart did it, someone with no love, no life, no joy no thought, no intellect no self, no pride; just an empty blob of an existence trust me abusers hate themselves more than anything. You can feel and have joy in your life if you let yourself don't suffer honey, rebel against the machine of fear. Rise, stand up and feel the strenght of survival.
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VoidEater
Mr. Flipper: You've always been an amazing presence for me, and continue to be so!
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Spike Tassel
to VE:— I don't believe I am crucifying yourself in the name of this organization. There are those within the local congo who are loving, inclusive, kind, and spiritual, even if it is only in "knowing glances" and sharing in "heartfelt singing" right now. With that, and WT literature, and JWN, I'm a happy man.
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Spike Tassel
Sorry, that should be as follows:— I don't believe I am crucifying myself in the name of this organization.
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flipper
SPIKE- What do you think you would be doing if you ever left the witnesses ? What do you see yourself doing 20 years from now ? Peace, Flipper
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JimmyPage
I wasn't, but a kid I grew up with was. The molester is still roaming free in the congregations out there. Beware of anyone named Arthur! The kid he molested sure manifested a lot of problems but I didn't know why at the time. Now it all makes sense.
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VoidEater
Spike: It sure likes it from the outside looking in. But therapy can help that - if it helped me, it can help you, too. Too bad those giving "support" to you have to hide it for fear of repercussions. Is that really what you want to be part of? Are you even sure that's what's happening? Might it be that you are reading into those so subtle messages of support what you want to see? Wouldn't someone truly spiritual stand up against what is wrong and speak out loud?
And note: my abuser was an elder who was able to take advantage of the growth of the religion and move to a number of congregations through his career - this was no isolated "bad congregation" incident. It was endemic, an established culture of self-created ignorance and protection of the organization.