Hello! I am new here and have been "lurking" for several months. The discussions have helped me tremendously to break free from the Society. I want to thank you all for your help and heartfelt posts. As well as the laughs I found here. (ex.: Armegeddon being so close you could stick out your tongue and touch it! That got me through hearing about the D.C. from relatives without cowering in fear that they could be right!).
The road is rough right now and i am coming to terms with everything. I feel I needed to finally join in an effort to help others who are now finding this site and their way out as well. This past week was very difficult. I kept concentrating on what some of you have written to encourage others and used your kindness and experiences to get me through my personal trials.
A little background on me: I was raised in the "truth" and have also had to overcome the fear of Jehovah destroying me for not agreeing with the Society. Still get nervous about if I am doing the right thing (feeling as if I am about to shake in fear quite literally),even though my reasoning has shown me what a control tactic that is and goes against the bible. The Beoreans got to question the apostles and were commended! I tried so hard to make Jehovah happy. Was as perfect as I could be. Have always felt nothing I do is ever good enough. Whether for my mother or the organization. You know how much we were told we were good for nothing slaves just doing what we ought to, which should always be more, even if we were pioneering, giving up education and didn't have 20 cents to our name. That's how it was as a teenage pioneer fresh out of highschool for me. Married the most wonderful man in the world! Have 2 beautiful children and feel completely blessed.
We are both on our way out and loving the life of choice we can now give our babies!!!! It took years for us both to get to this point, but we are so thankful we have seen the light. (though it took me quite a bit longer!!!) I really have devoted much time to reading this site and gleaning from your experiences. I did not give up on God, though i was angry and felt like it at times, I am now reading the bible and enjoying it! Can you believe it? I find it amazing that as a JW it was such a chore and now is a delight! What a contrast!
Thanks again for being here and allowing me to join you!
( From the "Sound of Music" song "my favorite things" "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" I just had to pick something that makes me smile, you know, for "when the dog bites, when the bee stings"--when i'm being shunned---"I simply remember my favorite things and then i don't feel so bad")