Do you see your self remarrying?

by Cabin in the woods 112 Replies latest jw friends

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi Van Gogh,

    I have decided that no matter what, in the end all that counts is love and people.

    I'm an independent loner too and reached the same conclusion. I have a lot of learning and catching up to do.

  • Van Gogh
    Van Gogh

    Serendipity:
    We all do, even if ignorant of that realization.

    Khufu and Dansk:
    Come on now guys - give her a break. Besides, I'm a self-professed mortal - I don't qualify.
    (though we could invoke her intercession on match-making matters...)
    VG

  • bubble
    bubble

    I actually left the org to get remarried.

    He was a MS and I was an MS's wife.

    Naughty naughty.

  • Terry
    Terry


    I have several impediments to ever marrying again as well as huge obstacles to even dating.

    I am currently going through a divorce and I'm not a young fella anymore.

    I find I simply cannot bear (or tolerate) conversation that has anything whatsoever to do with superstition, astrology, spirituality or religion. I just loathe it.

    I don't argue. I don't scoff. I just don't wish to be sucked in to a nonsense discussion of lunatic fringe ideas again! I don't want to be debunking or proof-texting any conversation I have on a date.

    I signed up for Match.com and it was a disaster!

    I went out twice to meet two different ladies after very lengthy e-mail conversations that showed compatibility.

    Well, phooey. They were both "spiritual" to the point of needing psychiatric care!

    Unless I find an EX-JW who can understand my disgust with all things religious I'll be a celibate bachelor the rest of my life.

  • peggy
    peggy

    I was married 28 years. I have been single a little over two. I sometimes wonder what I would be like in another partnership. I was 17 when I met my husband, 18 when we married. I am now 48. I sadly think the best years are gone.

    Peg

  • aarque
    aarque

    I was never, ever going to remarry after finding out that my spouse was really a cross-dresser and we split up (He hid it from me the first few years we were married) I was happy being single... until one day, in a chat room, a message popped up. "would you like to talk?" I had nothing better to do, so I did. We met face-to-face six months later and two years later got married. We will celebrate our five year anniversay in August. In the past year, I help him through a fourth hip replacement and he helped me through two bouts of cancer and my dad's passing. I can't imagine my life without him. My mom is right: "never say never".

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I think I would like to add to my previous answer. I was divorced at 27 with 5 small children(after many years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse.).I was(age 26)..recently baptised a JW in a very very small town. The lonliness was overwhelming many many times. I was DF, and for 9 years while I was out, I could have married. What kept in my mind, even DF, was to marry only in the lord. Only marry a JW. Since reinstatement, I almost married one brother, (temporary insanity) and fell head over heels for another, I truely thought he was my gift from Jehovah. He crushed a part of my heart that I hope heals and repairs. As we hear story after story, many marriages fall apart when ones faith has been altered. The couples that survive ....are a couple that is truely a couple, the ones that love the core of who each other are. Movies are made from these unions. I would love to be married. The commitment, the very idea of growing older alone deeply saddens me. Recently I wrecked my car. I needed help, wanted to be comforted. I realized there is no one in my life where I come first in theirs. No one that would drop whatever they were doing, to come to me. I am dating again. I have kissed frogs, lizards, snakes, horney toads, and let a few princes get away. If I do remarry, it will be a decision that I make not based on what anyone else thinks is what I should be doing, or what they think is best for me. It will be because I am wild about him and he is about me. That knowing each other has added to our lives, we are great friends and the companionship expands out lives. At the end of a lousy day, a wonderful day, we can lay down together and sleep knowing that what is most precious is with us. purps Terry,

    I am currently going through a divorce

    congrats,

    purps

  • Cabin in the woods
    Cabin in the woods

    I have been reading this thread again this am and although I started without any intention of probing deep into my friends spirit it seems that this is what is happening. GOOD!! Some really good things might come from this! ! Looks like we are going to have to increase the number of apostafests we will be having so there can be some meet ups for different ones!!! (the sound of chairs being pushed away from pc and the clattering of people perusing through kitchens looking for that recipe for J.W. certified appropriate for any occassion tuna casserole)

    For myself, I want to feel safe. Period. That is number one, want to be able to laugh out loud and not be told I have laughed enough... guess that falls under being accepted for who I am. I come with a lot of sharp edges and do not quarantee that I will be willing to shave them smooth for anyone. Cuddling, walking in the rain and not being afraid to show who they are.

    Now I am going to be 53 and lets face it... the frost has definately started falling on the pumpkins over here. hehehe so if I ever were to want to meet anyone they would probably have to be over 50, other wise people would look and say 'well look at that nice man...spending the evening with his aunt or mum" uuughhh. Now any of you nice men on here got an uncle or perhaps older cousin, dad????? that is single and might want to meet and spend time with a rockin' 50 plus? hhhhm, didn't think so. I will just continue reciting ... I am going to love the single life, I am going to love the single life...

    Wished that age and beauty did not matter so much to people

    cab

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    Robdar

    I don't want those things without being married. Living together is not the same as being married. For me the sex was even better when married. There is a sense of deep trust when you know that the person you are with is not afraid to commit to you legally. I've lived with men and married men. Married is better.

    That is the part I am having trouble understanding. Why can't you have that deep trust without that legally binding marriage certificate? IMO that deep trust is there or its not. You would think it would be there before the marriage hopefully? I have never been married (no plans to be) but I have been in love twice. I experienced that deep trust you speak of. I don't think marriage would have made any difference. That trust was already there.

    Feelings change, people change. Someone you have loved more than life itself could be your mortal enemy 10 years down the road. If they were on fire you would not piss on them to put it out. That's why i really don't see the point of marriage. If you are going to stay together you will stay together no matter what a peice of paper says. I swear I am not trying to fan the flames but if you think about it marriage is really a form of ownership.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa
    Wished that age and beauty did not matter so much to people

    this can really be tested when you meet someone online and click........then meet in person and it all goes down the drain. I've learned alot going through this process. about myself and others.

    purps

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