It Seems That My Children Are Not Trained

by Gary1914 128 Replies latest jw friends

  • loosie

    Leftbehind Gary said

    like little robots, but they are not loud or anything like that. They are just fidgety like some small children are

    They aren't being loud.

    Gary you shouldn't have to change your seating arrangment to please them. They need a reality check, kids wiggle and squirm. They are kids that is their job. I think those elders should provide some sort of childrens bible class. The meetings are too dull for a small child.

    Any if anybody should be taken to the back room and spanked it should be those elders not your kids.

  • Satanus
    if anybody should be taken to the back room and spanked it should be those elders

    Loosie, loosie. What are we going to do w you? Ok, maybe if all the sis's got together, they could get this going.


  • blondie
    Any if anybody should be taken to the back room and spanked it should be those elders not your kids.

    They probably would like it.


  • ChrisVance
    I used to bring coloring books and crayons to the Hall for the kids and that kept them quiet. But the PO said this was no good because the kids should be "clutching" (his word) their Bibles and starring at the speaker.

    That makes my blood boil. Even coloring books are a sin.

  • cyber-sista
    I sometimes wish I had the courage to just get up and leave. Especially since I no longer believe the majority of stuff they teach. However, I have too much family tied up in this organization and I just cannot extricate myself from the witnesses now

    Gary, this is the most touching post I have read in a long time and one that is close to my heart. I think a lot of us can understand what you are saying here, but please,please listen to your natural instincts as a parent and a father and protect your children and your wife--put them first and foremost in your life--you may give others the courage to do the same. Think about the witness families you know today. Very few of the children my daugher grew up with remained witnesses. We attended 2 different congos over the years in 2 states and knew JW families in nearby communities also. Many have serious mental problems--many families are torn apart by the WT Dfing policy. The WT serioulsy affected my family. My relationship with my unbelieving parents, brother, husband and brother was strained. I have had to apologize to them all--too late for my mother though, as she has passed away. I apologized to my daughter in tears for raising her as a witness--and for all the things she lost out on during her childhood because of it. I had to leave the WT org because I loved her and wanted to keep her in my life. So many have allowed the WT to take their children from them. Gary and this has caused tremendous suffering by all. My sister had a breakdown after her first son left the Org and went on medication. She seems rather numb now after her next 2 sons have left. The kids are all suffering too--being rejected by your parents is a very deep hurt and they cover it by drinking a lot of alcohol. Do you really want to keep training your kids and then have to pressure them into baptism into a religious organization that you don't really believe in yourself? It only gets harder with time and the decisions become more complicated as they grow up. You are not alone.


  • hubert
    They complain that children are noisy at meetings, but do nothing to offer them a place of their own.

    We have a "cry room" for parents to take their young children into if they want to. It has a glass window and speakers, so the parents can still see and hear the mass while attending to their children. Many churches have these rooms.

    Don't let these elders run your life. Step down as an elder, and start fading. Do this for your family and yourself.


  • Enigma One
    Enigma One

    Someone said the meetings were too dull and boring for kids. Heck, they were too dull and boring for adults too!!!!

  • Gary1914

    I am going to tell you all something that I have never admitted to anyone before, except my wife.

    It is just so demanding being a witness. So freaking demanding. Besides the meetings, the family studies and the field service, both my wife and I have full time jobs and we have the children to care for. If I miss even one weekend of field service I have to answer an to an interrogation. Since becoming an elder it has just become worse. There is so much to do that I have absolutely no time for myself. No time at all.

    I just came back from Elders School where we were chided that we were not doing enough and that we should have a fuller share in Jehovah's service. I was so keyed up and felt so guilty that I went to the doctor and told him about the anxiety I was feeling and the pressures that were upon me and he gave me an anti-anxiety pill. He said that I was suffering from depression. The pill is Zoloft and it does help a bit. It helps to calm me down some. Please don't think ill of me for having to take this drug. I need help.

    I am a relatively young man, 29 years old. I feel old and tired and without energy, listless, lethargic. Sometimes I look in the faces of the brothers and sisters around me and they look like I feel.

    The other elders do not understand my plight. They have their own circle and I am on the outside, I guess because I am the youngest. I don't really know. I was doing all that I could possibly do and now I have to be concerned about training my kids. Does it ever end?????

    You are all right. In order to save my santity I have to leave this religion. I have to get out and quick. It feels good just to tell someone about this.

  • Satanus

    The funny thing will be, if you step down, they will probably beg you not to. Change of tune. Let us know.


  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Dear Gary,
    I really feel for you. You said, "Please don't think ill of me for having to take this drug. I need help." I was on Zoloft at one point too as a jw. There's no reason to be ashamed. You're doing what you need to do to survive. It's understandable.
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Know that there are many here who are behind you and will support you through this time in your life. The decisions you face aren't easy ones. But your body is telling you quite clearly that serious changes need to be made, for the sake of your health and your family's health.
    I wish you all the best.
    tall penguin

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