It Seems That My Children Are Not Trained

by Gary1914 128 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    I think cyber-sista said this:

    If you sat down and told this story to someone who was not a JW or had no knowledge of how they operate they would be astounded by this story.

    That is very true. I am astounded. You are in a voluntary position. You can leave any time. They called you on the carpet. They gave you your excuse. Now take it, it's a gift!

    If you have to, use intentional incompetence. Don't show up for your responsibilities. Be sure you can't be counted on. Every time they complain, tell them you are busy training your children.

    You are now ALWAYS busy training your children.

  • sass_my_frass

    Bro, this is appalling, how you're being treated!

    Take a rest from it, you're going to burn yourself out. Give your children fatherhood, and enjoyment of you and their family life. My family has been utterly destroyed by the organisation; there's just too much to do, let alone think about.

    Insist that you need to step down as an elder because you no longer have the time. If you have to be an elder, be a failure of an elder. Cancel meeting parts at the last minute. Don't put in a field service report. Give your kids a damn colouring book. How much of your life do you want to spend this exhausted? There's a whole lot of happiness out there you know!

  • sass_my_frass

    Best way to get out of the meeting with the CO is to not be at any meetings next week during his visit! Are you feeling okay? You look like you might be coming down with a serious flu...

    I love this... it would need balls of steel though

    If they still refuse to accept it, make a comment the next time you have your hands on a microphone stating that you are resigning as an elder.

    You could at least tell the bully chief that you will do that if they don't accept that you're no longer an elder. This is stupid of him, it's not a contract! You don't 'wish to resign', you 'have resigned'!

  • scotsman

    I have to ask... if you're such a laid-back guy, how did you get to be an elder at 20? You normally have to be a fascist little zealot to achieve that so young!

  • LittleToe
    I have to ask... if you're such a laid-back guy, how did you get to be an elder at 20? You normally have to be a fascist little zealot to achieve that so young!

    And we should know


    How ya doing? I haven't seen ya in ages!

  • scotsman

    Hi LT

    Typically I'm back here posting because I have two uni assignments to do.. anything to procrastinate. Looks like I've picked the right week to surf back in. How are the Isles? Coming down here over the hols at all?

    I'm well, but my man still hasn't asked me to marry him even though he could have for the past 8 days - what am I doing wrong?

  • Billygoat

    What about that scripture in Timothy that says an elder (or MS) must manage his household well? When my dad stepped down as an MS, it was so he could "control" me. When he presented that scripture, the elders backed off. I don't think it's so much that you are showing more loyalty to your family (which is their fear), but that you are prioritizing your life scripturally. How can they dispute that? How can the CO dispute that?

  • Abaddon


    First of all, I think you are fabulous. You have been raised in a religion that you are begining to realise is... well.... not condusive to a happy life is the mildest thing I can say without getting into details, but you know what I mean. But you're a decent man. Good job!

    Second, there are two alternatives to leaving. Honestly with all the osracism that will generate, and dishonestly. Please don't think I am loading those terms morally; I chose the dishonest route and would do the same again; as they don't play fair why should YOU play fair??

    If new working hours mean your current meeting times are impossible, you chnage congregations. If you bump into ex-members of your Cong at times that clash with your cover story, you're going to the doctor/dentist/vet, whatever.

    Of course, you don't start going to the meetings at the new Congregation. Your cards will be sent to them, as they share a hall there will probably ne a discussion about you. The new Elders will pay a call when you don't show. Tell them about the overtime you work, the terrible insomnia your partner is suffering, the constant colds and coughs the kids get, complain moan and bitch. Don't touch anything doctrinal or fall for them asking trigger questions.

    If you can keep this up, the visits could tail off quite quickly. If you don't give them anything doctrinal to get interested in, they'll get bored with you, especially if you make their visits as unpleasent, tedious and annoying as possible. You'll be classed as an inactive Witness. Your contacts with family still in will still be allowable by their doctrine.

    You can then learn, think, plan decide what you want to do without being under the constant pressure they keep you under to stop you learning, thinking, planning and deciding things for yourself.

    If you decide honesty is the best course, hold on for a few days and see what the BIG NEWS is, and if it is as BIG as it is made out to be, maybe you get to really stick cats amongst pigeons and take other people with you. Maybe it'd be worth hanging on until your next talk to give you the platform (hoho) from which to give other JW's the heads-up?

    But all the best to you and your family.

  • Undecided

    Hi Gary,

    I can understand how you feel over burdened with all the responsibilites. I didn't have children when I was a JW PO and I finally left because of the pressure. I finally had a life of my own to live and I had a daughter of my own to raise and enjoy later. I have never regretted leaving and still enjoy my life and family. Don't let the religion take away your enjoyment of life now with a false promise of a perfect life real soon.

    I hope you and your wife can find a solution that will bring happiness and enjoyment of life now, it may be the only one you will ever have.

    Ken P.

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