It Seems That My Children Are Not Trained

by Gary1914 128 Replies latest jw friends

  • sf

    Be a responsible parent and make that your last meeting. For your childrens sake. Put yourSELF aside, for now.


  • lonelysheep
    I am so mentally exhausted that I don't know what to do.

    I agree w/Garybuss and really feel for you. You can't keep training them as they want you to without beating the mess out of them. They're normal kids, especially at those ages! This really impacted my feelings toward the meetings..being told to train my kids, even when they were only a few months old! Who the hell condones spanking a 6 month old for fidgeting??!!

    Please don't let your mental exhaustion get to you much longer. I understand there's mucho pressure.

  • cyber-sista

    this is creapy stuff. I raised my daughter up in the "truth." She was a good kid--never caused any problems. I was married to an unbeliever and thinking that since I would not have my mate to help me raise my kids in the "truth" I limited the size of my family and had only have one child, because then I would be able to give her my best (training her in the "truth"). She grew up to be a smart kid and when she got to the age where she was expected to make her decision and "make the truth her own" the pressure by the elders was on) but she decided she could not and wanted to go to college, marry someone who was not a JW, etc.( the brothers her age at our hall were dumb as rocks and the two her age had already been to the mental institution (seriously)

    I respected her decisions, but then was hauled into the back room and told that this was not the way it goes. Because I was the believing parents she should be expected to be obiedient to me and because I was not demanding that she serve the Org I was not being a good parent or example and that I should put my foot down and show my disappoval of her. Also when she did marry I should then treat her as an unbeliever and worldly association to me, or in otherwords treat her and her husband like crap. Of course my unbelieving husband had no say in any matter and they even wanted to come over and talk to him about our daughter. I said NO! and put my foot down. After 20 years of being a JW-bot I got out of there quick and preserved my family--I could not allow the ones I love to be abused by the WT. My sister has lost 3 of her sons now (they are no longer JW) so she can't communicate with them. Too many people have lost their kids because of this religion. I would advice to get out quick. Your kids are young--and believe me they won't miss it a bit.

    Sorry if I am sounding a bit heavy here. I can only give advice from the standpoint of my own experience. I hope you can find your way. Love your kids unconditionally and treat them with respect--this is the best gift you can give them.

    The best to you,


  • LDH

    Dear Gary,

    I'm very sorry. Just this morning when I woke up, I was thinking, OHMIGOD what if I had to force my very active 4 year old boy to sit still for two hours? I would no doubt be following the example of the elders and whipping him for acting completely normal.

    Only you know when it is time. Only you know when the 'burden' that was supposed to be light has become oppresively heavy.

    Only you.

  • misspeaches

    How horribly mean of that body of elders.

    I was wondering - Gary were you raised as a witness child? From first hand experience I can tell you meetings are nothing less then awful.

    You sit there and are expected to absorb information that even some adults have trouble comprehending. Listen to a lot of repetitive and boring talks and not move a muscle. And if you do you have the fear of being smacked by your parents. Yeah its great.

    This will be something you really need to think about. Think about your children Gary.

    Miss Peaches

  • belbab


    You say that your wife was crying, you observed it and took notice of it, and I am sure you comforted her.

    You say you are tired and exhausted and have to lie down.

    You listen to your own body, and take action and lie down.

    Listen please,

    If God , the universe, pays attention to each little sparrow that falls to the ground, do you think he is not observant of the little children? You listen and observe the feelings, emotions and state of your own body as well as you wife's. What about the agitation of your children? The message coming from them is loud and clear!

    Who in hell has the audacity to claim that the sound of the babble coming from the platform of the sterile environment of a Kingdom hall, takes an overwhelming precedence over the cry and figiting of little children?

    Listen and pay attention to WHAT IS SO, not to the what someone says should be.

    Take this as a loving clout on the back of the head to wake you up to reality.

    Take it also as an angry swift kick in the ass to the so called arrogant "glorious ones" who subject you and your family to the third degree.


  • hamsterbait

    There was a case where one of the Chipperfields (of Circus fame) was put on trial for extreme cruelty to the performing chimps.

    It was pointed out by an animal psychologist that a young chimp will only sit still looking cute, if it has been PHYSICALLY BRUTALIZED. Most witless kids only sit still because of the constant physical abuse they receive in the back room.

    You should get the social services to plant an agent in the meeting and note how often children are taken out and beaten for being, well, children.

    We had a CO who the young elders with toddlers dreaded because he had never had kids, but wanted total still silence from them, and told the elders to sit at the back and take them out for a spanking if they so much as squeaked.

    "Suffer the little children indeed..."


    On reflection, I agree with the above poster who thinks they are looking for an excuse to delete you. God's spirit directed organization is giving you the spirit direction to walk out the door and never go back for your childrens' sake.


    Hi Gary,

    I was raised a witness and I can tell you it was the most horrible thing to go and try to sit still every week. It was torture to me and I wasn't even as hyper as some kids. I got my share of beatings!!! It still makes me so angry that there is no provision, such as Sunday school, for the kids to be able to go to. There they could color and do other fun stuff, instead of sitting and listening to 2 hours of information they can't even begin to understand. It's really not fair to put children through this form of abuse. I sat in the library for several years with both my sons and brought them stuff to play one got on to me for that. I understand that you are an elder and have to set any example, so you are going to have to make up your mind what is more important to you....You/elder or your family. One of my brothers had 3 small children and he stepped down, telling them that his family needed his attention first and foremost. I admire his decision to this day for doing that.

    Your kids are never going to be this age again, enjoy them while you can.


  • Buhdee

    Sorry that happened to you. Having little kids sit still for that long for any reason is an ordeal. But to be blind sided is not right.

    My father was an elder. Being an elder's kid stinks. Now as an adult, I would suggest that you spend that time with your family, resign the position and enjoy the kids while you can. If you have a book study in your house, have it moved too. That is murder on a wife too. Enjoy your family while they are young because they aren't young forever.

  • nilfun

    Excellent post, Buhdee.

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