by Gary1914 128 Replies latest jw friends
Have to ask this, are there any other young children at the Hall or are your's the only ones there around that age ?
I have been in some Halls where it seems that everyone's forgotten HOW young children act. Personally I have no problem with fidgety children nor with children that make a little noise. They ARE children after all !
""Most witless kids only sit still because of the constant physical abuse they receive in the back room.""
Not true at least not in my personal experience. There is no need for such action, young children do not learn anything by such action.
And PLEASE "constant physical abuse". Get real !
Oh oh why cant the jws have a seperate progarm for the kids. It is so much easier and nicer for me and my children when I drop them off at sunday school (which they love) and I can go and enjoy and pay attention to the sermon. I see no good reason for the jws to look down on churches who do so. It shows a genuine love for children to have sunday school or something that is on their level. I see none of that in the bOrg.
Once my parents asked if they could take my children to a district convention (at that time I only had 3 and they were 1, 4, and 7). I said sure but be forwarned that the children have never gone to something like that and are not accustumed to sitting still for long periods of time. My perents thought about it and decided not to do it.
Josie
Hello Everybody. Thank you so much for the responses. I rested a little and I feel better now.
Yes, there are other small children in the Kingdom Hall. But I am the only elder who has young children. I am supposed to be the example that the publishers with children follow. I don't want to be an example, but there it is.
I used to bring coloring books and crayons to the Hall for the kids and that kept them quiet. But the PO said this was no good because the kids should be "clutching" (his word) their Bibles and starring at the speaker.
I did try to sit in the Back Room with them for a while and was told that elders should be a part of the audiences so that the brothers could see them and be encouraged.
I sometimes wish I had the courage to just get up and leave. Especially since I no longer believe the majority of stuff they teach. However, I have too much family tied up in this organization and I just cannot extricate myself from the witnesses now.
I could not believe what he was saying. We have three children, ages 3, 4 and 6. It is true that they do not sit during still meetings holding their Bibles like little robots.
You know, the control only gets worse. After a while, they'll be wanting you to get thembaptized before they are 18 or else there's something "wrong" with them or you and your wifes "Parenting Skills."
Then if your children choose a different religion or none at all--- the Elder Group Mentality ruled by the self-proclaimed "governing body' in Brooklyn will say you can't be an elder and that you are condemned for not following their Non-Biblical commands of "early Baptism." There's no end to it... only you can end the non-sense.
YC
Gary,
Elders are cowards. Ignore their "counsel" and keep dealing with your kids the way you see fit. If they confront you again, tell them they can mind their own business, and that if they have a problem with that, you are more than ready to "step down". Odds are they will back off, and if they do remove you from the elder body, hey, thats a win for you too.
No Apologies.
Hi Gary, you must be a young man to have so young a family.....I am sorry you were put under undue stress by the other Elders in your cong....Is it worth the stress you are going through to stay in? I would leave now before you and your family are subjected to much worse stress. Being young helps your recovery from leaving the cult of the WTS, to go much better than you think.
Gary1914, I don't have children but I was a child growing up in the KH. My mother had her hands full since my father was not a JW. I was a naturally quiet child but my siblings never could sit still even at home. One brother suggested that a good beating was what they needed. My mother told him that "spankings" didn't work. So she went to the back room with them and left me on my own in the main hall.
The key to this is they don't have children.
Why not see this as an opportunity to leave. Not abruptly, but gradually.
Tell them you and your wife have decided that you should step down (aside?) so you can concentrate on helping her raise your 3 children, your first responsibility before God. I know of an elder who did that who had more than 3 children. His children were entering the pre-teen stage and having serious problems. He was criticized for it, but they all turned out fairly well and the ones who criticized have children who are now drug addicts, in and out of jail, on their 3rd marriage, you get the picture.
Then gradually just start missing a meeting here and there, be out of town for the weekend, have to work late, be sick, one of the kids are sick, etc.
Then change congregations if you can and slow down more. Be prepared to be labeled weak, but aren't you being labeled now?
I agree with No Apologies, most elders are cowards. This technique of jumping on one elder as a group and speaking their mind is "freeness of speech." My husband had a few experiences with it. It made him step down and 2 other elders in the same congregation.
Love, Blondie
So the other elders' children are grown up ? It would seem as if they have forgotten how their children behaved when they were that age. It's something they all do, we have three of our own. they are all older now, youngest is 14.
We had some interesting times with them,middle one simply refused to be affected by a good swat on the behind, even when it was called for !
Never was an elder but I think these ones have to think back to their own kids behavior at that age.
I still wonder about your wife...
Would it be beneficial to speak candidly with her about her feelings and about what she thinks the proper action(s) should be??
It's her life and her children, too.
-Aude.
