Hey all! I recieved an email from a Nigerian Scammer and thought I'd have some fun with it. I'm already dying of laughter!! His emails will be in italics, while mine are in bold. His name is Yusuf Ali, and my name is Pennis Grabur. Enjoy, and I'll give updates as it progresses! Remember, these bastards have ruined people's lives, so don't feel sorry for them.
From Pennis to Yusuf:
Hello Yusuf. Sorry it took me so long to reply, but I've been on vacation. Your business sounds very interesting. Please tell me what I have to do.
From Yusuf to Pennis
Dear Grabur,
Thanks for your response. What I need from you at the
moment is your full name, address, telephone and fax
numbers. This will enable me commence with securing
the necessary documents that will make you the
beneficiary of the funds before it can be transferred
into your account.
I'll have to obtain Incorporation certificate from the
Corporate Affairs Commission of Nigeria and also get a
registration certificate as a contractor with FMW&H,
after which an application will be filed for the
release of the funds to your account.
Please send the above information to me immediately
for us to commence. I want to do everything fast so
that the payment will be among the last quarter
payment of the year.
Awaiting your prompt response.
From Pennis to Yusuf
Hello Yusuf! I'll do whatever it takes to help you. My full name is Pennis Grabur and I program software for a living. I haven't seen a fax machine since 1997 when I worked for Noxinal Nine, so Email will be the best way to transfer any documents.
Also my phone has been temporarily disconnected because my bitch girlfriend Penny jacked up the phone bill from phoning her mother in Australia. If you pass me your phone number, I'll see if I can phone you from my friend Willdrop's place.
Also, I've attached a picture of myself and Penny. I'd also like to put a face to your name. Please send me a picture of yourself. I'm hoping we can become friends as well, and we can celebrate after this transaction is all done! I'll even buy you a beer. Hope to hear back,
(Good ol' Gene Simmons! I hope Yusuf isn't a KISS fan.)
From Yusuf to Pennis:
Hi Grabur,
I appreciate your prompt response but I'm not
completely satisfied with the contents of your email.
Phone and fax number is very important in this
transaction, as you will be contacted by the bank for
the actual transfer once I secure all relevant
documents.
Officialy, the bank will contact you through phone or
fax. So you have to get a fax machine and get your
phone working.
Thanks for the photograph. You and Penny look
mavellous and you seem to be enjoying each other. May
be when this is over you can link me with a sweet
white lady to share the fun with me.
By the way, you do not look anything close to your
first name... cracks, hope you do not mind.
I will scan my picture and send to you tomorrow. My
number is 234 803 332 1710.
From Pennis to Yusuf:
Dear Yusuf,
Please do not make fun of my German background. I've had to put up with the ridicule for all 49 years of my life. I'm proud of my heritage, and I don't need any jokes about it.
Fax machines here are rare as dog shit on the ceiling. Everything here is done by email, so I can't see it being a problem transferring documents using this method.
As far as a single white lady for you, my friend Willdrop has a sister who's young, single, and hot for a good man. Once I recieve your picture, I will foreward it to her and hopefully the two of you will be able to hook up in the near future!
I can't get down to the phone company until Monday to straighten out my phone problem, but I will try to phone you tonight from Willdrop's phone. I really would like to get this done.
Stay tuned for more...