HereIgo

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Posts by HereIgo

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  28

  Fading or Disassociating

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hello, i'm new here.. i'm a college student who has been raised in the "truth" for my entire life.

  i was baptized at 10 years old, and looking back now i know i didn't fully grasp everything involved, for one thing i don't even recall ever going to jehovah in a special prayer to dedicate myself to him, but anyway that's the past and my focus is really on the present.

  i'm currently pursuing an associates degree, but i find myself desiring to pursue a bachelors in my chosen field so that i may have a somewhat more secure future.

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  HereIgo

  Hello Saethydd, first of all welcome. I can relate to the example you mentioned about getting reinstated then fading. I personally was never DF so I can't relate to the reinstatement part, but I can relate to fading. I chose to fade and never look back. Hell, I'm sure by now half of my old congregation has forgot about me and I like it that way. There are a few though, mainly family members that are constantly telling me to come back to the "truth". So yes, if you pursue that route, expect that type of begging from your JW relatives. I noticed in your post that you still live at home with your parents. My only suggestion to you is be wise about your decision and don't do anything that would cause them to put you out of the house and cause financial strain. Play the game for as long as you can while you share the same roof, unless you are able to live on your own, then you will have more control over your life and fading will be much easier. Hope this helps.
  
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  19

  Jeremiah 10:23 - "...It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step."

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been accused recently of "trying to direct my own step" because of my questioning the org and refusing to come back to the "truth" for the past 6 years.

  i personally still believe in god, i just doubt that he is behind the jw org, that's all.

  why is that so hard for jw's to understand?

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  HereIgo

  I have been accused recently of "trying to direct my own step" because of my questioning the Org and refusing to come back to the "truth" for the past 6 years. I personally still believe in God, I just doubt that he is behind the JW org, that's all. Why is that so hard for jw's to understand? God does not = the org. Period. It dawned on me at that point just how powerful brainwashing is. One cannot even question the org without being accused of directing his own step. Doesn't the bible encourage us to challenge what we are learning? Anyone remember that scripture...thoughts?
  
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  20

  The Great Watchtower Guilt Trip

  by pale.emperor in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  as im sure almost all of us on here are ex-jw, we all know first hand how well the watchtower used the power of guilt to manipulate our thoughts and actions for the entire time we were active witnesses.

  guilty for not going on the ministry enough.. guilty for not trying harder while on the ministry.. guilty for not turning up for hall cleaning that time.. guilty for saying a swearword.. guilty for looking at a porno mag.. guilty for masturbating through my teens (i thought i was the only one who did!).

  guilty for thinking the gb is wrong on a certain thing.. guilty for touching my girlfriend there... even though we've been dating for 3 freakin years and not had sex (thats not natural imo).. guilty for not following along in the watchtower magazine on sunday.. guilty for not studying.. guilty for nodding off during the 8 hour convention.. guilty for my mind wandering during the talks.. guilty for thinking of sister so-and-so.. the list goes on.

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  HereIgo

  FOG = Fear, Obligation, Guilt. All of that basically sums up the watchtower mindset. I have loved ones that are still in and they feel guilt about not doing enough and afraid of Armageddon, wondering if they will die or not. I feel sorry for those ones, I used to be one. That is no way to live.
  
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  10

  KH has been sold in Taiwan

  by yoko N in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

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  HereIgo

  Nice. Another KH sold to Babylon the great. I guess they deal with the world when it means making money.
  
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  30

  New member

  by NinaCee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did not see a newbs thread to introduce myself, so my apologies if i'm in the wrong place.

  i was a 3rd generation born in witness for 30 years until i was disfellowshipped back in 2007 for making a mistake.

  my entire life up until that point was based on and circled around the society, and even though at first i really enjoyed my freedom (i still do), the fact is that i'm still struggling with cognitive dissonance, resentment, and loneliness.. i miss my family all the time.

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  HereIgo

  Welcome Ninacee, most if not everyone here can relate to your feelings. I have been out now for about 6 years and will never go back for the same reasons you listed in your post. You have made the right decision, just continue to stay strong although you feel lonely, in time it will get better.
  
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  11

  My Mother reach out to me AGAIN!

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  about 3 weeks ago i created a thread due to my mom reaching out to me (we hadn't talked in over 2 years due to typical jw politics).

  well, today she reached out again thought facebook messenger saying " i'm so sorry i hurt you my beautiful baby boy.

  i'm hurting very much also.

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  HereIgo

  Hello all,

  About 3 weeks ago I created a thread due to my mom reaching out to me (we hadn't talked in over 2 years due to typical JW politics). Well, today she reached out again thought facebook messenger saying " I'm so sorry I hurt you my beautiful baby boy. I'm hurting very much also. No matter what I love you, always remember that."

  I asked why are you hurting?

  She said " Because I love you, but our difference keep us apart"

  I replied,

  "They only will if you let them. Because I could be the most sinful person on planet earth and yet you would still talk to me if I was never baptized. But, because I made the decision to get baptized at age 16, barely old enough to drive, I am being responsible for it. At the end of the day, I believe we have to walk our own path and be responsible to God directly and I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is being accountable to imperfect men. Men, who I have seen say and do things that are not so Christian. Being "imperfect" is an excuse you can only use so far when you claim to be God's mouthpiece. I'm not the only one. I believe half of witness have doubts. The question is, who is afraid to speak up? Who is afraid to lose family? I've never been a follower."

  She never responded back.
  

  Did I come across too strong? Do you think what I said was thought provoking enough? Thoughts?
  
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  28

  Did you ever experience true kindness in the Org?

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember when i was about 17, i started shunning an older brother because he was disfellowshipped.

  when i graduated high school, he pulled me aside and said " i know you are not supposed to talk to me, but i want you to have this" it was a gift that he had custom made for me.

  i was so blown away, we never even had a real conversation before.

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  HereIgo

  I agree, the ones that showed genuine kindness and compassion were ones that did not have titles or privileges. The ones that struggled to make the meetings and had real life problems. These ones always treated me the best and the ones I was most close to.
  
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  29

  JW's arrogant as f...?!

  by Alostpuppydog in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  has anybody else noticed that almost all the jdubs are super arrogant?

  i mean even from just the basic ones to especially the elders and the overseers omg.

  they act like they are so high and mighty that you should just worship them.

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  HereIgo

  oh yes, arrogance is part of JW life. I hate to say it but I was guilty of it at one point, I think most of us were. The org brainwashes you to think you are better than the world and if you have a position in the org, then you are better than some of the friends who don't have privileges. It's all about appearance as a jdub.
  
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  15

  A Brother refusing to pray?

  by HereIgo in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i remember there was a brother in my congregation while i was in who would comment at all meetings but if asked to pray at a meeting or meeting for service he would always politely refuse.

  i always found it odd, i assumed as a young bro, that a bro was kind of obligated to pray if asked.

  knowing what i know now, it could have been a guilty conscience or maybe he just wanted to be lowkey.

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  HereIgo

  Wasenelderonce, that also is a very likely reason. Just not into it
  
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  20

  How many times did you see a JW start a business

  by karter in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with the intention of spending less time working and more time in f.s i saw this many times.

  an ex c.o started a carpet cleaning business with the charter being spending less time working more time in f.s.

  he has long since passed away and the company is now huge being the major player in flood resteration and employing 100's of people one of the owners i spoke to recently was sick due to using to many chemicals but carries on becouse he loves the money even though he's worth millions.

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  HereIgo

  I personally only have known of a just a few brothers to start their own business. One brother was an architect and had a business in that industry. A few other brothers had small window cleaning business etc, nothing to get rich off of, just enough to maintain.