My Mother reach out to me AGAIN!

by HereIgo 11 Replies latest jw experiences

  • HereIgo

    Hello all,

    About 3 weeks ago I created a thread due to my mom reaching out to me (we hadn't talked in over 2 years due to typical JW politics). Well, today she reached out again thought facebook messenger saying " I'm so sorry I hurt you my beautiful baby boy. I'm hurting very much also. No matter what I love you, always remember that."

    I asked why are you hurting?

    She said " Because I love you, but our difference keep us apart"

    I replied,

    "They only will if you let them. Because I could be the most sinful person on planet earth and yet you would still talk to me if I was never baptized. But, because I made the decision to get baptized at age 16, barely old enough to drive, I am being responsible for it. At the end of the day, I believe we have to walk our own path and be responsible to God directly and I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is being accountable to imperfect men. Men, who I have seen say and do things that are not so Christian. Being "imperfect" is an excuse you can only use so far when you claim to be God's mouthpiece. I'm not the only one. I believe half of witness have doubts. The question is, who is afraid to speak up? Who is afraid to lose family? I've never been a follower."

    She never responded back.

    Did I come across too strong? Do you think what I said was thought provoking enough? Thoughts?

  • stuckinarut2


    Honestly? Perhaps too strong and too much for that first response.

    Perhaps if you had eased in it may have been more beneficial?

    Still, what is done is done. She knows you are willing to have the relationship. It is up to her.

  • Alostpuppydog

    Nice man. Couldn't have said it better imo.

  • steve2

    Sounds like your mother is facing the kind of dilemma no loving parent wants to ever face: Choosing between her beliefs and her children. She has her moments when it gets too much to bear - so she reaches out to you. Then she reads what you've written and realises why she was directed to shun you - and it starts all over again.

    It's a shame you can't "meet" your mother where she is by trying to see if she will agree to maintain some contact if you both agree not to "preach" to each other about your respective views.

    I suspect you have come across too strong. Try reaching out to her with love and a preparedness to just meet with her for a pleasant get-together without bringing "it" up.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    I understand, HerIgo...

    I keep hearing myself say the same things in my head that I wonder if I will say to my mom... I just may.

    However, I never heard my mom say "Sorry, I love you" either.

    Now that you have said it.... Maybe it will make her think? Perhaps it will weigh on her mind when she hears of a pedophile that walks around, shaking hands and smiling with everyone in the congregation, when she must shun you? Maybe?

    Now that your 'conscience is clear', if she does reach out to you in the future, maybe you can both agree to keep religion out of the conversation...

    best wishes, cha ching

  • smiddy

    Sometimes being blunt and forthright is the only way to get through to some people .

    I hope in your case it was a success.

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Why would she shun you then contact you just to rub it in and say that it's your fault that you're being shunned? That's not loving....that's just messed up. I think what you said was spot on.


    You did not overcook it at all - Good logic - But CD [Cognitive Dissonance] is a powerful psychological device in the human psyche ! Just let it be for now - And KEEP showing Her love ....

    Don't forget .....she is just a victim too !

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Herelgo - I truly empathise with you.

    As a "devout fader", I'm experiencing similar treatment. Trying to have a discussion about doctrines with J.W.'s can be very precarious - especially so with loved ones - because the truth is that they don't want to hear the truth about their revered organization and its leadership.

  • tiki

    Her silence could very well be because you struck a chord and her gut feeling is that you are dead right. Keep communication, text whatever about mundane things...nothing religious. Just everyday stuff. She may be waking up.

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