Hello, new here. I did not see a Newbs thread to introduce myself, so my apologies if I'm in the wrong place.
was a 3rd generation born in witness for 30 years until I was
disfellowshipped back in 2007 for making a mistake. My entire life up
until that point was based on and circled around the society, and even
though at first I really enjoyed my freedom (I still do), the fact is
that I'm still struggling with cognitive dissonance, resentment, and
I miss my family all the time. We were always together before I got kicked out. I had lots of friends and we were always doing things together. My family is Hispanic, and family is a HUGE deal to us.
I am now married to a nonbeliever who tries to be supportive. Unfortunately he has been a little possessive and has caused me to lose some of the friends I did make when I left. I count myself lucky to have him, but sometimes I resent him. Other friends I made since 2007 have simply stopped being friends with me for various reasons, usually involving their own possessive and jealous partners.
have tried to go back to the organization several times. The problem is
that when you read as much as I do, you invariably come across things
that make you THINK, and then you see the the organization for what it
Nowadays I feel like an orphan. I feel awful for saying that because I do have a teenage son who
is still close to me (for now), and my husband and his family are great even though they are tRump supporters (that is another subject altogether) . But
something is still missing. I don't even feel like I can have a personal
connection with god because if Jehovah wants "his people" to behave the
way they do, then I don't want to know or love Jehovah. In fact, I
think he's a bit of an asshole. I'm sorry if that is offensive to some of you.
So having said all that... I'm not looking to focus on negativity... just looking to connect with others who can relate because well, like I said, I feel alone lol.