First, DON'T commit suicide.
If those thoughts recur, get professional help.
The USA has suicide hot lines you can call to talk with someone and get help. I don't know about other countries.
Second, your life has NOT been wasted. You've accomplished a lot and learned a lot.
Third, even if your whole life HAD been wasted so far, you're only in your mid-twenties and you have a college degree. You probably have 55 or more years ahead of you during which you will be free from WT control.
Fourth, cultivate non-JW friendships. Stop thinking of them as worldly. Use discernment in developing friendships. Focus on people who will build you up instead of tearing you down.
If you would like to discuss anything privately, feel free to PM me. I'll let you set the agenda. If you don't want to... no problem.