by Buck 62 Replies latest jw friends
Actually she may not be status seeking. She may really believe that if you are dunked then you will both survive the big A and live happily everafter. I'd guess that she is also getting pressure from family and "friends" about your status.
Like others have said, though, you'd best be convinced 100% now that all the kooky doctrins and social practices are "from God" or you will be caugth in a downward vortext of misery for years to come.
Wish you the best.
carmel
5
Our family name is I am who I am, and everyone gets along - it's Love. Some people describe it as 'unconditional love' due to language issues.
It isn't the name she chooses for you - t he name of the jw family is "I am who they want me to be"
the consensus here seems to tell me to run. it would be very difficult destroying something youve built. Many happy times, wonderful memories. I understand people's hurt and anguish on this board.
there is things I dont like about the organization. Things Iam not sure how they make arbitrary rules about (birthdays, beards).
But I guess its my decision in the end.
Thanks for all your comments. Even the guy that called me a spineless wimp.
Buck, What have you 'built'? I'd really like to know more specifics here...this relationship? Or just what are you referring to? I hope you are still on the board and will reply.
Life is full of bumps in the road. It is how we learn,
AuntieJane
Well if your girlfriend said she wasnt sure if she loved you 100% what % of unsureness would you tolerate before you thought you'd better not get married?
Personally Id want 100%. If my partner said he was 'mostly sure' he loved me, it want him to be pretty damn sure before I married him.
Why would Jehovah want less than 100% from you? If you get baptised he, your g'f and the cong will be demanding 110% from you 110% of the time. So you'd better be AT LEAST 100% sure you can deliver.
PLEASE think VERY carefully about this, and if you are even 1/2% unsure - DONT DO IT.
it would be very difficult destroying something youve built. Many happy times, wonderful memories.
Yes, it would be very difficult. But it will be even more difficult if you make the decision to get baptized FOR HER and then some years down the road realize it was a big mistake. By then things will be built even higher, and will come crashing down even harder.
I don't know anything about your situation, but what's been built can't be that strong if she will ultimately give you an ultimatum to be baptized or that's it. I've seen from experience that if relationships are built with the idea in mind that someone will do something eventually, then it is not a good relationship. Because either the one person will eventually do what the other has always wanted and not be happy about it, or the one doing the pushing will eventually say that's it, you didn't do what i wanted, it's over.
Trust me, getting involved with the Jehovah's Witness religion is a huge step with life altering consequences. You have to be 100% sure it's what you want to do if you decide to do. You can't do it for her, because eventually you will get to a point where either she realizes you didn't want to do it, or you will resent her for making you do it.
Relationships should not be built on any sort of conditions. If they are built on an unsteady foundation, they will eventually crumble. If both people do not have the same things in mind, or the same goals, it will not work.
Think long and hard about this decision, and do not be forced to make one. If she really loves you, she will understand that you have to be ready to make this decision yourself.
I understand people's hurt and anguish on this board.
Dude! Who the hell is hurting here? It's called "been there done that". If you want to knowingly be duped then go for it. Maybe you spine hasn't fully developed yet.
there is things I dont like about the organization. Things Iam not sure how they make arbitrary rules about (birthdays, beards).But I guess its my decision in the end.
What are the things you do like about the organization? Do they outweigh what you don't like about the organization? Maybe this will help you in your decision.
Dams
it would be very difficult destroying something youve built.
Buck,
It will be one hell of a LOT more difficult after you have said your "I will's" at the baptism, and even worse when you say your "I do's" at the Kingdom Hall at your wedding with all the onlookers wishing you well, IF your heart isn't in it! The marriage is not the "end" of all this, it is only the beginning.
Trying to live up to your vows in both cases will have a tremendous impact on you (and the marriage) if you aren't absolutley sure of your dedication. Both will be severely affected.
I don't really know what it is that you have been looking for here, to be told yes go ahead, or no, don't do this! I haven't quite figured that out yet. Whatever the case, you are definitely headed for big trouble IF your heart is NOT 100% in believing everything the WTS teaches! You will never be happy just getting baptized so you don't make waves, or if you feel that you've gone to far to bail out of baptism.
It is YOUR life and it is far too short to waste it messing around pretending to be something you are not.
Take it from an old lady.
Annie
