Exposing one's identity. When?

by kairos 100 Replies latest jw friends

  • 3rdgen

    "My wife is seeking professional help with the goal of saving our marriage."

    I am so glad to know that, Kairos. This is exactly what she needs right now. It wouldn't be a bad idea if you went too. Your life can't get better until you can work through the anger. The counselor can give you tools to help with that as well as strategies to handle your in-law problems and religious differences.

  • jws

    What's happening with you karios? You went from thinking of posting your identity, to saying you wouldn't for your wife's sake to posting your name, location, and pictures.

    To me it sounds like a spur of the moment thing based on emotions. It's all up to you. But know that you need to think of your wife too. The JWs can all be a-holes, but maybe your wife can escape with you if you keep her on your side.

    Calm down, take a breath, and then decide what's best. Don't just act rashly out of anger. It also makes you look like a crazy apostate and makes all the JWs watching feel they are correct in their assessment of apostates.

    I'm concerned for you and your wife. Do what you think is best, but please do it calmly.

  • Bonsai

    Sorry to hear about such a difficult situation. All is not lost. The first thing to do is calm down. Be better than the people around you by being respectful and avoiding rage. The white hot emotional part to all this will pass. You seem to really love your wife so maybe it's time to set up boundaries and at least from your part try to avoid talking about the JW religion and ongoing news with her.

    JW robots always use the apostate card to defend themselves. I was (and still am) worried about a family member being suicidal because of the way they treat df'd ones. I tried to talk about a better way to handle her at the kingdom hall with the COBE in her hall. It didn't take him long to attack my loyalty to the organization and start telling others I had apostate leanings. You can't reason with these stupid zombies. For your own sake try to temporarily ignore them and focus on other positive team oriented, constructive projects, hobbies you can do with your wife. Currently the wife and I planted a butterfly garden. We also go for short nature walks and hikes. These little things have been a great distraction from all the noise.

  • RedPillPopper

    I've known Trekkor for over 20 years and went to that same KH. I work in Napa everyday but live 60mi to the north. Having done my little local radio interview this last Saturday about JW's and the host saying my full name on the air and the fact that my two adult children fully shun me I have very little to lose with saying in the open who I am also. I just took off all privacy settings on my FB page (where my real name is) and have been posting all the stuff about the AUS RC hearings. So I'm 99% fully out there too.

    Trekkor does not have children and no other family except wife who are JW's so I understand why he has done this and I support him.

    Trekkor, the only advise I would offer (other than what we've already talked about) is that your wife divulge to the therapist that her stress is JW related. That is THE most important thing for her to tell them. If she will........

  • kairos

    Yes. Thanks Jeff.

    Things are moving fast.
    I don't care at all if they call me apostate or whatever.
    I'll admit it to their face. Then I'll ask them to help me understand how the two witness rule protects children from pedophiles.

    My wife and I are doing this together.
    All the way.

    She is vowing to remain a JW.
    I'm vowing to stay with her.

    I just REFUSE to be walked on.

  • Twitch


    Kudos to you sir. Go easy...

  • kairos

    Got a call from an elder today.

    Oak Knoll WT conductor...

    I asked why he hasn't spoken to me in two years.
    He ignored that and said that I hadn't spoken to him in two years either.

    Very clearly stated that I do not acknowledge their authority and gave him three options after admitting apostasy:

    Come meet me in person alone as a friend, in writing or good-bye.

    ( just to be a bit of dick, I said you can even come over here and watch me smoke a cigarette )

    I explained that if they disrupt my life or my basic human rights, I will pursue legal action.

    He selected good-bye.

    There is so much more, but isn't that enough?

    Told him to expect my e-mail tonight.

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Man, it's screwed up how much they mess with families then try to blame the 'apostate' .

    Best of luck matey, they'll be on the blower to legal as we speak..

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Hi Kairos, my hubby & I say 'hi' and send you hugs... I understand how you feel, wanting to be free, and prevented by the evil organization.... This Aussie thing will open many eyes as to the workings of the org, and perhaps be the crack in the dam that will get things streaming, right?

    Hang in there, breathe.... hugs.......

  • kairos

    A third elder had the nerve to call me again.

    He is treading on very thin ice with me.

    Elders playing along at home:

    This guy actually thought he was going to convince me to meet with them.

    I carefully explained that I will never meet with them, however I will cover all topics in writing. He didn't want to do that.

    I said:

    "If I call the Watchtower Service Desk and ask them a question they require a letter. I'm asking that you do the same"...

    His response. And I promise this true...

    "That's not fair".


    So, another holy one has decided instead of taking an interest in my spiritual welfare and communicating in a way that I can tolerate ( writing only ), it would be better to end communication.

    I'm thinking a visit to city hall inquiring of the process to execute a restraining order against the Oak Knoll Congregation Corporation.

    Name the entire body of elders and have it served on Sunday morning before the meeting.

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