It is finished, or is it just beginning? (page 3)

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(((Matt)))

oh hon...I know this isn't how you had hope it would all unfold. A lot of good people have given you fine words of wisdom. If you need us, we are here for you. You know that, don't you?

Count me in among those with tears for you.

Lisa

Flash

1. He gives us intelligence but makes it a sin to use it.
2. He was right in calling me a hypocrite for going so long in something I don't believe in.

It's domineering humans that do that, not God.
No, he wasn't right. The Witnesses (especialy the 'trained' Elders) deliberately use absolutes to condem and control as part of their guilt and fear mongering policy. It's very dishonest. The real hypocites are leaders of the WTS and those who blindly follow them, pretending to be true Christians.

I am sorry I could not come out and say what I had planned on my "faking it" thread a few last week or so. I think that we all have raw nerves when it comes to the "troof" now. I cant fault anyone for speaking their mind.

In no particular order.

Littletoe, you have been a great inspiration to me. Your wise thoughts have been very helpful. I'm a young guy and sometimes go off half cocked. Thank you for not pulling any punches with me in your advice. Washed out? Yes that is indeed the word.

Purpl, You are sweet. Love you too. Your story and strengh have helped me more than you know.

Blondie, Thanks for you words, I dont say it enough, but I really think a lot of you.

JH, you betcha and dang, I "lost" my flock book and the others I dont think I will ever open again.

Dave, after a brief period of introspection, I may take you up on that. (hopes to visit OH one day and find a long lost brother)

steve, yes I left 3 copies of my 13 pg da letter with the elder for the other brothers. Im sure they wont read it.

proph, you are a man of balance, you have also made me laugh often these past months. Thanks

Gill, I literally could not have lived the lie one more day without serious harm to my soul. Yes the free air is good.

Merry, Thank you

fairchild, I am not alone. You folk are my only friends now. Not a bad trade I say.

JamesThomas & talesin, I've never said this but I think of you as sorta spiritual advisors. I read everything yall say and it has influenced me greatly

Midwich, your brave story of counterwitnessing helped me a lot to make this choice.

luna2, It is a relief, I was about to explode.

Dan thanks man, I do too.

GBL, the name says it all your an upbeat guy I appreciate that.

Pole, showing them that apostates dont froth at the mouth is the greatest weapon we have, in my opinion.

God I hope I didnt miss anyone. Well the meeting with my mom was full of tears, but she listened. She made no promises other than she would love me no matter what. That was all I wanted. My wife... not ready to talk about that right now... sorry.

Thank you all again.

IP_SEC

Arrowstar, sweety thanks.

I know Flash, I know, Saying that is just a defense mechanism on my part to not feel mad at him right now. Thanks

ithinkisee

IP Sec,

You and I are almost exactly the same age and have many similarities. Your post gave me lots of encouragement because I have also been hesitant about announcing my decision to anyone.

Thanks for the update and I'll be watching your posts closely.

This will give me a lot to think about during the horrific meeting today on apostates.

-ithinkisee

Markfromcali

The end of one thing is always the beginning of another, congratulations. No doubt tough times are ahead for you, but you have the benefit of the experience of others here.

He just left, asking all of the questions you'd expect. 'Where will you go'? Telling me I'm full of myself. Asking why I didn't just come to him earlier when he could help. He refused to listen to a word.
The elder was the one I was closest to. He was heart broken that I did not come to him. He was right in calling me a hypocrite for going so long in something I don't believe in.

Him being heart broken is actually a symptom that he is full of himself, full of the JW self. It's not always a matter of pride, it's sometimes just being totally absorbed in that trance. With all the peer pressure involved, it takes a certain openness and vulnerability to leave.

I've posted this poem before, but I think it's appropriate here:

The Journey
by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

SixofNine

That's really great that your mom would say that. I'd really recommend pulling your punches with her; give her room to be herself (a witness AND mother). I know I had to back off from talking to my mother about it. I was lucky that I could talk to her at all about what I learned, but at some point, it was clear that she just wasn't ready to learn. She was/is walking a tightrope, and pushing from me was not going to help her, at this point.

Wish you the best with your wife. I'd say it's all really just beginning for you.

MerryMagdalene

...more much-deserved admiration and more hugs (((((Matt)))))...

"To be truly happy in this world is a revolutionary act because true happiness depends upon a revolution in ourselves. It is a radical change of view that liberates us so that we know who we are most deeply and can acknowledge our enormous ability to love."----Sharon Salzberg

"A mind once stretched by a great idea or new understanding will never fully return to its origial dimensions."----William James

"The Way is long----

let us go together.

The Way is difficult----

let us help each other.

The Way is joyful----

let us share it.

The Way is ours alone----

let us go in love.

The Way grows before us----

let us begin."

----Zen Invocation

~Merry

JAVA

Matt -- I want to add my support to you as others have already done. Your decision was the right decision for you at the right time. As already said by others, you have not left anyone down, and you are not the hypercritic--those titles belong to the Watchtower Society, not the people they lied to!

My very best to you friend.

IP_SEC

Ithink, I had felt that we were probably in the same boat from reading your posts. That lesson was the last straw. I knew I couldnt conduct it and maintain any human dignity.

Sixy you are right. She was, all-in-all receptive to me, but I dont want to push her over the wrong way.

Thanks yall for the poetry.

Thank you JAVA

It is finished, or is it just beginning?

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