It is finished, or is it just beginning?

by IP_SEC 183 Replies latest jw friends

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Well I am no longer one of Jehovah's witnesses.

    I had fully intentioned to disassociate myself from the platform today, but I decided that if I wanted a chance to save my marriage that I'd better tell my wife. She immediately went to to one of the elders.

    He just left, asking all of the questions you'd expect. 'Where will you go'? Telling me I'm full of myself. Asking why I didn't just come to him earlier when he could help. He refused to listen to a word.

    I feel fully confident that I've made the right decision. I know the witnesses are not right. Even if they were, I see their God as not a good person. He is one of procedure and wrath. He gives us intelligence but makes it a sin to use it. So be it.

    The elder was the one I was closest to. He was heart broken that I did not come to him. He was right in calling me a hypocrite for going so long in something I don't believe in.

    I only wish they would see. I only wish that their minds would not be closed to anything but what the Watchtower says. I feel empty for the moment, but I know it will get better.

    I will now go and visit my mom. She deserves to be told face to face by me first.

    If you are a lurker, or thinking about leaving, do not delay. It will be better, I promise.

    The writer Frank Yerby once said that maturity is reached the day we no longer need to be lied to about anything.

    I know this will be a hard row to hoe, but hey thats what growth is about. Truth is not always a comfortable thing. Children would rather hear things that make them feel good regardless of whether or not it is true. When we grow up we realize that life is about change and growth. With growth sometimes comes pain.

    Thank you to everyone, especially the ones who knew what I was planning and helped with word of comfort and advice. Thank you all for your help staying sane over the past few months.

    Matt

    (growth pain class)

  • luna2
    luna2

    Ah, Matt, I'm sorry that things did not go as well as you might have hoped. I'm sorry your wife couldn't give it some time before going straight to the elders. I'm sorry your elder-friend wouldn't listen to you at all.

    I hope your meeting with your mother isn't too painful.

    It has to be a relief to get it over and done with, though.

    ((Hugs)) to you.

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    IP_SEC, Matt - I wish you well - I suspect you have a dificullt time ahead. Thinking of you.

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    Dear Matt,

    Congratulations. This is a hard time. Be extra patient, gentle and caring to yourself and those around you. Take lots of walks out into nature if you can. Be present with the aliveness around and in you more than in the thoughts in your mind.

    You will find that living true to yourself and having the integrity to follow your heart brings you into a flow with life that can be very healing.

    Good luck to you.

    j

  • blondie
    blondie

    Hypocrite, I don't think so. You were waiting until it was safe for you to leave; till you were emotionally ready and had people who could support you. If he was such a good friend, shouldn't he have known your heart?

    The WTS says you only owe the truth to people who are entitled to it.

    Your heart will tell you that the WTS is not what it pretends to be. I don't think people have to jump right in telling everyone. Make a safe place for yourself first. Then just leave. You don't owe anyone a justification. They won't believe it anyway.

    IP I hope your wife didn't tell your mom already. I hope things work out with her if that is what you want.

    Love, Blondie

  • talesin
    talesin

    {{{{matt}}}}

    Take care, hun. I'm so sorry about your elder friend, he must feel betrayed ,,, but it's not your fault, it is the WTS that has betrayed him, not you. Fighting for our lives is never easy ... I will send prayers/energy/whatever in hopes that your wife will join you in your newfound freedom from thought-control.

    After all the abuse you took here last week, and hah, I bet those folks are eating their words now ...

    I just had to say that ---- anyone reading ,,, if this applies to you,,, try to have a little compassion for people the next time, then you won't feel like such an idiot ...

    tal

  • JH
    JH

    Now, you'll have plenty of time to go to all those apostofests...

    I guess that many in your congregation will be stunned by your departure.

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    Hey Matt,

    Love you,

    got a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

    Wish I was there to give you big hug, someone needs to.

    purps

  • Pole
    Pole
    Asking why I didn't just come to him earlier when he could help.



    It's funny that I was asked precisely the same question by a close friend of mine. Amazing how - as active dubs we subconsciously fool ourselves. Not knowing the full truth is supposed to save you from leaving the "Troof".


    She immediately went to to one of the elders




    This is sad. I hope it's just her initial reaction.

    Stay calm and positive. Hopefully she'll see the WTS vision of "aspostates" is a plain lie.

    Best,

    Pole

  • fairchild
    fairchild

    Dear matt,

    Hate to say it, but it probably is just beginning indeed. I'm sure you know that the next few miles of your journey aren't going to be the easiest ones to walk. I hope with all my heart that you won't have to walk them alone. Please keep my e-mail as well as my chatroom in mind, should you feel the need to talk. You have friends on JWD, people who care and people who know more or less in part what lies ahead of you. All I can do is send you much love from my little corner here. Now you don't have to act anymore, which will make you feel better about yourself.

    Hugs,

    Chris

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