It is finished, or is it just beginning?

by IP_SEC 183 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Assuming they get any potential visit out of the way this week, chances are they'll announce it on Thursday, with the new generic announcement.

    The congregation will be in an uproar, and will want to know what happened. Your wife will likely get the blunt end of this interrogation. Some love the attention, and retreat into a martyr complex to elongate it. Others are mortally embarrassed, and later are impacted when the love-bombing dies off.

    Taking walks, etc., for some fresh air and mental "space" is probably a great idea
    Hopefully you're walking a foot higher, today

    Take each day as it comes, as there can be highs and lows - it's different for everyone.

    As for now, I hope no-one will object if I present you with the "Brass Balls Award" for May 2005, and add your name to the list of nominees for this year's "Significant Acheivement in Furthering the Aims of Apostacy" peace prize

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    IPSEC,

    I sure didn't see this coming! I guess there is only so much that one person can take before they break. Yeah, things are probably gonna be shitty between you and your wife, hopefully for only a little while.

    Now that you're out, those meeting nights are gonna feel strangely empty for quite a while, but I'll tell you, it feels GREAT on those nights knowing you don't have to get ready to waste your evening at the Kingdom Hall! That's one feeling I will never forget when I left.

    Take those evenings and do the things that you enjoy while your wife is at the meeting. Make this quality YOU time. You've missed out on so much of it, and you've definately earned it! Quality YOU time is something everyone needs to relieve stress and get some personal enjoyment out of their lives that only they can fulfill. Indulge in your hobbies. If the WTS was the only hobby you had, take an interest in something you've been wanting to learn more about and experience. There's lots to do out there and enjoy!

    I wish you the best on your new path in life. You may end up going around a few sharp corners, but it feels refreshing being on the road you always wanted to be, doesn't it?

    Damn, reflecting on all of this makes me want to leave the WTS again just to re-experience that feeling of freedom :)

  • MegaDude
    MegaDude
    The congregation will be in an uproar, and will want to know what happened. Your wife will likely get the blunt end of this interrogation. Some love the attention, and retreat into a martyr complex to elongate it. Others are mortally embarrassed, and later are impacted when the love-bombing dies off.

    This is very true. My spouse fell into the mortally embarrassed class. We left town over it to get a new start.

    Taking walks, etc., for some fresh air and mental "space" is probably a great idea
    Hopefully you're walking a foot higher, today

    Agreed.

    Take each day as it comes, as there can be highs and lows - it's different for everyone.

    There can be an intial high in claiming your freedom from a cult and exercising your personal power. There are tough days also, because the structure of how you've lived your life for many years is demolished. Where do I go, what do I do, is there a God, is this part of his plan, do I stay married to a JW, do I get a divorce, if I stay married how do we live together with such opposing views, what about JW family members... and so on. I found it overwhelming at times and I concur with LT's one day at a time approach. All the issues work themselves out over time.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    The Award, Dude, the Award!
    Ya commented on everything but the Award!!!

    Maybe it's just because I knew about it, but I'm telling y'all, this guy has big brass ones. The diversion thread, earlier in the month, was excellent. It was probably at a time when he could have done without taking flak, but he handled himself extraordinarily well. I don't know how he kept a straight face when he was being berated and advised to "do a LT". If his wife hadn't grassed him out, he was all set to do it!

    Regardless, he DA'ed anyway and didn't back down before the Cong.Sec., presenting his letters for the Elders. I didn't know about the letter to Bethel, and can only imagine how it felt, posting that. I'm not saying that there aren't many that have gone out with a bang, or that take IMHO the harder route of fading, but what he did takes a certain kind of style

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Guys I'm doing well all things considered today. The more I think, the more I understand that, there is no more I can really do for anyone who isnt ready for it.

    These guys would change their whole perception of the universe at the drop of a hat, based on a paragraph in the watchtower, written by someone they've never met. They will not give me the time of day, listen to one word I have to say after knowing and trusting me all these years.

    They would respect a person they've only just met enough to listen to their 'false' beliefs before witnessing to them, yet will not afford me the same human dignity.

    Littletoe, thank you for your kind words. They make me feel good, but I only did what I should have. Gosh I think of folk that left like back in the 70s, 80s and early 90s when support like this was hard to come by. That was extraordinary. That took real bawls. This was something ordinary, which I hope, know will become more ordinary in the future.

    I want to say one thing. Those of you who stood up before me, made it easier for me to stand up.

    If we can stand up and stand together, it will make it easier for the faint of heart to do so.

    PS LT, Your new avi Raux man!!

  • lilbit
    lilbit

    (((((((((((MATT)))))))))))))))))

    I cant believe I missed this thread yesterday. Im so happy for you. Enjoy the freedom to just be who you are no more hiding.

    Lots of Love

    Lilbit

  • Seeker4
    Seeker4

    It's great reading all these responses to your actions yesterday. And your replys to them. I loved what you wrote about finally being rid of so many things that had become such a burden in life - the elder and committee meetings, and the field service, were such a relief for me to no longer be involved with. Considering I live in a rural area of southern Vermont, and have been here all my life, there isn't a road I drive down that doesn't remind me of when I was pioneering here - and how happy I am to not be knocking on doors and bothering people any more!

    There will be a lot of other changes ahead. I left quietly, not making an issue of things, mostly out of respect for my wife and daughter and other relatives and friends who were still JWs. When the brothers started chasing me down a few months ago for leaving my wife and living with another woman, I wrote the kind of letter to the body that you likely did, covering all the things that made me leave.

    A couple of things that I wrote to them you might appreciate. I told them that for decades I had been told how it was only the weak who left the Organization, but in reality it takes the greatest courage to make that step. You understand that, because you know the cost we pay for standing up for the truth - the loss of close friends, of family, of the respect of people that we've loved and helped and, to be truthful, people who have helped us.

    I also wrote that for years these brothers had respected me for my intelligence and thinking ability. Here's a quote from the letter to the Body of Elders that I wrote:

    "Part of the reason you say you’re pursuing me after all these years is because I had such a strong influence on so many Witnesses when I was a true believer. That influence was based on my sincerity, on the depth of my understanding of the Bible and WTS teachings, and on my intelligence. Do you think I left the Witnesses because I stopped thinking? Did I suddenly become insincere and stupid? I know that the standard procedure is to label anyone who leaves as full of pride, or they were stumbled, or they are arrogant, or they fell to the ways of the flesh. I’ve heard that a thousand times over the years, and heard it from that CO who came with you Matt. Again, it’s just a way of using labels so you don’t have to really think about things. It’s so easy to say, 'Oh, he’s full of pride,' 'He thinks he’s so much smarter than everyone else,' or 'Satan deceived him.' That way you don’t really have to think about why so many thoughtful, intelligent, sincere men and women have left the Witnesses. You see, it always has to be because of a weakness or lack on their part. It can never be for a good reason, a failure of the WTS, or that the teachings of the WTS simply don’t make sense to a genuinely thinking person."

    They did that to you as well. We don't need to fall for this. You'll be sooooo much happier now that you're out. Believe me. And some of these men will think about what you've done and why. A sister who left years ago once told me that she couldn't understand how I could remain a Witness, knowing what I did. I told her I was willing to give the WTS the benefit of the doubt, knowing it was an imperfect organization. When I was no longer willing to do that, I left, just like you did. That sister turned out to be right - and you may have that same affect on others.

    Glad you're doing OK, and I will be in touch.

    S4

  • bebu
    bebu

    Matt, my hat is off to you!

    It would have been wonderful if you could have pulled off a DA on the platform, but you did right by your wife.

    And it's so nice to see your face in your avatar. That's certainly a mark of freedom!

    bebu

  • ivy
    ivy

    IP_SEC, I can't say anything that hasn't already been said. I just wanted to add my kudos and support to the growing numbers here. Watching the breaking/freeing process is affecting. We are fortunate to have you here, and I'm happy to be part of such a brilliant support network.

  • evita
    evita

    Hi IP/Matt

    It's just the beginning. Yes, it will be difficult, but you did it. No more hiding! I really believe that good things are ahead for you after you get through the worst of it. There is so much beauty in the world and you have regained your connection to the rest of humanity. Enjoy your freedom!

    E.

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