relationship with jw's

by clay 91 Replies latest social relationships

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    Actually it was Nos that went off topic. But that is ok.

    Some things bear repeating.

    I wish someone told me, what I just told you about the knight in shining armor crap when I was 20.

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    the way she makes me feel is unexplainable.

    I know kid. We have all been there. And most of us have had our guts stomped on at one time or another. We listen to you and we see ourselves. We can't go back in time and yell at ourselves, so we yell at you. Just remember, we are the future you. We are saying the things that you will wish you could go back and tell yourself.

    You sound like a good kid Clay. Just remember the only woman that REALLY loves you is your momma. And she is the only one who deserves to be put on a pedestal. She wiped your ass and didn't kill you when you woke her up at 3am. That is a woman who you should be ready to slay some dragons for!

    The rest, never meet 'em more than half way. Anything more doesn't make them like you. It just makes you look like a pussy and lose respect for you... which is what actually makes them like you less.

    Take care of yourself.

  • clay
    clay

    alright guys ill come back later and update you. yall take care. i got to go to work.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Okay, clay. I hear you. I am also a Christian, married to a JW. I understand your desire to have your beloved "see the light", but, believe me, the task ahead of you is much harder than you can imagine. So I will lay out for you what is coming, assuming you cannot be dissuaded.

    1. The JW's view you as an "unbeliever" no matter how godly your lifestyle. I suggest you start attending the KH with your sweetheart, and hear how the speaker refers to "Christendom" and "Unbelievers". This is what they think of you.
    2. JW's live in a bubble of normalcy. This is the public image they use to attract new members. Inside that bubble, however, is a huge lists of do's and don'ts. My JW husband promised when we married that he would respect our differences in beliefs. He has not been able to honor that promise, due to the many rules he must follow. Ask your sweetheart if you will ever be able to enjoy Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Mother's Day, or Father's' Day together. Ask her if she would permit a blood transfusion for you if you were on your deathbed. Ask her if she would allow her future child a blood transfusion.
    3. Removing the cult mindset from a person is a herculean task, taking years. Read up on cognitive dissonance. Read Steve Hassan's book "Combatting Mind Control." before you attempt to reason with your sweetheart. A full-frontal attack of a cult member's belief system can set them permanently against you, trashing any hope of bringing them around. Ask the spouses of JW's here on the board, there are many, who later regretted their early, panicked efforts. Read their stories, all of them. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/32/77159/1.ashx
    4. A typical evangelical response to the JW beliefs is bible discourse on whether God is a trinity, the divinity if Jesus, heaven or hell, whether we have a soul, cross or stake, and the 144,000. Here is typical Christian advice. It is wrong. http://www.christiananswers.net/evangelism/beliefs/jehovahswitness.html. I have seen many of these battles, and all it results in is entrenched positions and two heated persons convinced their argument is better. The reason these arguments don't work is because it is a matter of interpretation, not proveable. Instead, I suggest you question how loving the organization is. Parents shun their own children. People die every year because of the blood policy. Is this how loving Christians are to act? There is plenty of evidence to be found that the JW's are not a very loving group.

    Oh, yes. Ask if your beloved will attend with you at family weddings and funerals, if they are in a CHURCH. This has probably been the most volatile subject in my short marriage.

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises

    ...and listen to jgnat. She is one of the people who whipped me into shape when I showed up here.

    She is definitely one worth slaying some dragons for!

  • AuntieJane
    AuntieJane

    Good luck to you, trying to reach a JW...it is a tough row to hoe. I have 2 family members who are IN and

    a friend who was in. DO NOT bring up the Trinity. It is difficult for some Christians to understand, I strongly suggest you avoid discussing it.

    You have some great suggestions here. One thing that worked for me was to prepare, just on one issue..., go over it and over it in your mind. Pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance. I believe that helped me more than anything.

    AuntieJ

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Why, thank you, C_Y_P. I may not always be public about it, but I am rooting for you on the sidelines. When you slay your dragon, let me know, OK?

  • youthinkyouknowitall
    youthinkyouknowitall

    I find it very offensive that you think of JW's like that. You have obviously never met one. THe day you do.... you will realize that they are the most wonderful and truthful people out there.

  • EvilForce
    EvilForce

    Welcome youthink....

    I have met thousands of Witnesses as most of the folks on this board have and can attest there have been some really nice Witnesses as well as some truly evil horrible ones.... Maybe you should spend a fair bit of time here researching the issues presented. You might learn some new things. Welcome.

  • youthinkyouknowitall
    youthinkyouknowitall

    Hi, I understand the situation that you are in. But unlike what everyone have said.... yes turn the other way....or look closely at what you have in front of you. You say this is a wonderful girl.... and if she abides by her religion... of course she is a wonderful lady... Jehovah instructs his followers to be close to perfect (not perfect humans are not capable of being). She must really stand out but because of her believes.... otherwise she would be like any other girl in the streets.... Consider studying the bible or attending the meetings... you will realize why her love to God is stronger to yours,.... and perhaps you will share this love.... don't make things complicated... Its her believes that make her act the way she does.... thats why you love her.... yet she is following Jesus's example and there you see what you really love.....

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