by clay 91 Replies latest social relationships
The only reason that you, a JW, wants Clay to stick his foot in the KH, is so he can be love-bombed and offered that "free home bible study" routine.
gee, that home bible study sure sounds good. yup. just kidding.
Where did Clay say that this girl's love for her God is stronger than his?
I don't remember that part either.
find it very offensive that you think of JW's like that. You have obviously never met one. THe day you do.... you will realize that they are the most wonderful and truthful people out there
And as someone married to a jw that you have your head so far up your butt you can't see straight.
hi clay,
stop thinking about your dream girl being a jehovah's witness and start thinking about her as being a member of a destructive high control group. Don't worry about the specific beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses, don't worry about 1914, Rutherford,holidays and other JW details. Instead focus on the psychology behind what has linked her to this high-control group. Is it family and friends, is she attracted to the dogma, does she ned to have a controlling factor in her life?
What will she experience if she leaves her high-control group? Rejection? Isolation? Is she prone to depression? Is she manic? Co-dependent? What are her personality traits?
If she left, how would she put food on the table? Would she go to college? Where would she live? With you? At twenty years old, that's a tall order for you both.
Looking at it from her perspective, what are the benefits of her leaving (not the benefits for you, but the benefits for her)? For her perspective, what are the benefits of staying? Does she want to leave?
Write these things down so that you can make a better assessment of some of the factors that are contributing to her decision making process.
Then go to the library or the bookstore and look up steven hasan's books. He's an expert on cults. It's a must read if you are seriously considering attempting to get her to leave a cult.
it might be helpful to look at other books on sociology/psychology and cults.
Just some thoughts.
thx detective.
This thread goes on and on with lots of wise advice from people who know firsthand.
OK Clay, let me ask this: you're a Christian, right? What do you think GOD thinks about this relationship and where you would like it to go? Does this matter to you, more than what YOU want? You can't see all the behind-the-scenes details, or the future. How much have you prayed over this? Are you listening--not to your body or even your own heart? Maybe this is your test. It's one of those forks in the road of life. What you decide will affect not only both your lives, but also the lives of all others you interract with, and your future children (if it happens), and who they affect, and so on. Knowing you married the person God approved of can make all the difference in the world in your relationship, if God is important to you. Do you want Him involved? So far, all I've seen is what YOU want and what YOU feel.
That's my best advice, based on my personal experience and what I see in the Bible. It's different from the rest, but I think relevant in your case.
Clay,
It looks like it took 4 pages of posts before you got the best advice of them all. Good point Hmike.
CYP
hmike i've been praying about this for the past four months. i have known her for the last year and a half. yes i am a christian, and yes i do want god involved. thats why i'm praying about this situation. i came here to get as much info as possible and find out what i would be up against. before i tried to progress into trying to get her to leave her current organization. you know as well as i do if God does not approve of her nothing will happen.so far she is not letting anything happen. so if nothing else happens and my attempts are futile, then i know why. and i will accept that.
As long as she makes a clean break from the JWs, but then she may have pressure put on her and her mother by the JW. Be sure that's all resolved before taking it too far.
Continue to pray about the relationship and pray for all of them individually. Come back and let us know what happens.
definetly will. pray always,pray without ceasing,pray until the answer comes. doesanyone know how to get in touch with shaun?
actually i have known her since kindergarden. my interest in her started about a year and a half ago. me and my dad have been talking about her and i think she is scared and thats why we're not going anywhere. what makes me think this,is the fact that she has no prior experience dating or anything. i myself am scared. so we will just have to wait and see what happens.
clay ... you would be wise to listen to the advice here. I don't agree with the same reasoning but in the end you will likely suffer big time if you keep pursuing this girl.
If she has grown up in the beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses, it will likely stay with her for life. Even if she leaves her beliefs for you or any other reason there is a very good chance that somewhere down the road she will return to her beliefs. It is more than a religion .. it is a way of life.
Do yourself and her a favor and move on.
