relationship with jw's (page 4)

Seeking Knowledge

Hi Clay:

Let me ask you a question...if this girl was interested in you, your mom liked her and everyone was happy & joyful, but the only thing she was interested in doing with you was discussing your religion and how wrong it was to her and why you should leave it, would you still be interested??

We all want what we cannot have, and it seems to me you have an interest in her and there is a challenge before you that you feel the need to try. I can attest that having a relationship with someone in the JW's is not an easy task. I can take it a step further & say that even if you get over the hump, you fall in love and get married, you have children. Prepare for the battle to really begin there.

I think you should take things slow, don't try to change her mind on what she knows, but show her other things in life. Show her that you are her friend first, not someone who is trying to take away her religion. She will resist that more than anything, and they are prepared for that as well. If she's saying that you can't go any further, then you have to accept that. You can still show interest, just make sure you get out there & date other people, you are young.

Sometimes the catch isn't worth the chase. Good Luck

SK

clay

changing her faith is no all im interested in. im interested in her.but i do want to get her away from that false religion.

Nosferatu

does anyone have any advice for me to tell her to get her to start doubting her faith? or re-examining it?

If her interest in you is much higher than her interest in the JW religion, then she may be worth something. However, if all (or most) of the interest is coming from your part, the decision will be a no-brainer for her.

It takes two people to make a relationship, but it only takes one person to end it. It really sounds like you don't have a relationship with this chick.

I shall repeat myself:

Tell her "I can't be in a relationship where your religion will always be more important than me." Then leave her. If she follows you, you gained something. If she stays with her religion, you've gained nothing but lost nothing.

Chia

Perhaps people will gang up on me for this one: but don't you think the girl will resent you just trying to barge in and change her faith? Like, "You're perfect for me except your religion is kooky"? I'm not saying that's what you're trying to do. I'm not saying that you don't respect her or care about her. But that's what it may seem like, and it'll probably turn her off even more if that's what you do. How would you feel if she told you that your religion was a crock and you should join hers? (Which she very well might do by the way?) If she wants to change her religion, it has to be her decision. She has to get there on her own. I don't necessarily think you should run, but just be a friend to her and be there for her when she needs you. Someday, she may really need your support, and then maybe it can go somewhere. But for now, I think you'll only alienate her by trying to nudge her out of her religion if she isn't ready to leave already.

Honesty

Damned if you do and damned if you don't. You are on a one-way trip to emotional hell if you keep seeing this girl because unless she has doubts about the JW cult you are doomed from the beginning. JW's are raised from birth to accept that everything the WTBTS says is from God. As a matter of fact they believe the WTBTS is God's wife on earth and they listen to her like she is God. If she is smart and can really think for herself she may eventually realise the WTBTS is not from God but don't go getting your hopes built up about that, yet because the indoctrination has been going on for 20 years of her life. Another issue to consider is even if she leaves the WT/JW religion her family and friends will view her as dead and will shun her to the nth degree because they believe God has cut her off from life unless she returns to the religion which in itself causes returnees tremendous emotional and mental harm because of the manner which the WTBTS uses to make sure strays never stray again.

you got out didn't you. so tell me WHAT MADE YOU LEAVE???

Yes, I got out after 15 years of abuse by the WTBTS that I thought was love. Only after reading bibles without the WT propaganda literature directing me was I able to see how corrupt the religion is and how far removed from Jesus they really are.

You mentioned that you are a Christian. I became a Christian within months after I left the JW cult. The cost was more than I ever dreamed it would be. I have children, an ex-wife, other family members and dear friends who are still trapped by the WTBTS that I think about every day. If they continue to be mislead I can only feel about them as a 19th century pastor, Charles Spurgeon, so aptly stated:

"Love your fellowmen, and cry about them if you cannot lead them to Christ. If you cannot save them, you can weep over them. If you cannot give them a drop of water in hell, you can give them your heart's tears while they are still in this body."

Ask yourself if it is really worth it to pursue a relationship with this woman with the prospect of her always believing in the WT instead of Jesus. Even if she were to physically remove herself from the control the WTBTS has over her can she ever be spiritually free from them? The WT leaders don't care if she stays or leaves because their ultimate goal is to either keep a person trapped in the cult or, should one leave make sure they never accept Christ as their personal Savior because of the years of indoctrination they have received from the WT doctrines.

Check_Your_Premises

You have to understand that jws are very good at implanting fears in their members. Even if she doesn't seem interested now, or even if you get her to leave (her mother won't talk to her anymore if she is baptized),

it is very likely that once she has children she will have all her phobias rear their ugly head, and you my friend will be that most unfortunate of creatures....

an unbeleiving mate.

That is one of the most common stories you will find.

Check_Your_Premises

sex is'nt the only thing i look forward to in life

You have a pulse right? I think it is very common for Christians to marry to young (societal standards) because they are to damn horny to think straight.

I am not saying there is a better alternative, I am just saying no matter what you say, no matter how much you love the Lord, you are still a young man, and by definition your little head does more thinking than the big one.

Check_Your_Premises

Ok Clay, you want to know how to get her out.

As everyone else here has told you, you have better things to do with your time.

I am an unbeleiving mate. I have children with my wife. I don't have any choice. You are a young man. You are full of idealistic ideas. You still haven't learned that there isn't much point to trying to change people. You still haven't learned that you don't have a lot of time here, and you shouldn't waste it on futile efforts. It's ok. We all have been there.

But if you really are interested in doing this, and you aren't like all the other guys just like you we have seen come with all this enthusiasm, and then go after a few weeks of mind boggling interaction with a jw robot, then I will talk to you about it. Sorry dude but you are a cliche.

Myself and other ubm's (again we are married, we have no choice) are using a book by Steven Hassan called Releasing the Bonds. It is a "how to get your loved one out of a cult" manual.

Don't do anything else until you get this book and read it.

When you talk to her, talk about baseball, the weather, whatever. Don't talk religion!

There was a guy here about a month ago named shawn. Look up his name. Read his posts. He lived on this site. He was basically your twin brother. He didn't listen to anyone here, and ended up making a bunch of dumb, rookie mistakes, and chasing away his jw love interest. Now she won't even talk to the guy.

The reason I am telling you to read this book is because you don't know what you are doing. Your little love interest does not have to talk to you. If you start talking bad about her religion she will stop talking to you. We ubm's have spouses who are stuck with us. My wife has to take my ass to court and get a full time job if she wants to leave me! We can make mistakes. You don't have that luxury.

In closing, trust me. You seriously have better things to do. She can't be that hot!

A guy told me something once.

Take a look at who you think is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Somewhere there is a guy who is totally sick of her crap.

Don't be that guy.

clay

She can't be that hot!

pal you just don't know

Take a look at who you think is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Somewhere there is a guy who is totally sick of her crap.

Don't be that guy. that is a nice saying.

i will try to find that book.

Nosferatu

pal you just don't know

Have you seen her naked?

Take a look at who you think is the most beautiful woman in the world.
Somewhere there is a guy who is totally sick of her crap.

That is so true.
Here's something someone told me once. Take this "hot woman" and picture her sitting on the can taking a smelly shit. Listen to her grunt and fart, trying to push that turd out. Then she wipes her ass. How hot is she now?

relationship with jw's

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