THE ESTRANGED FAMILIES LIST (page 5)

squinks

I never had much family to begin with, but I lost my sister, (miss you seeester) and one niece and nephew and their spouses.

And of course all my friends. Its like having amnesia-no past.

But my heart goes out to those who have lost so much more.

This post is one of the most tragic things I have ever seen.

I am going to print it out for use when I might need it, Witnesses at my door, or a neighbor or aquaintance who may begin to study.

Crumpet, Jeanie B. Ozzie, my heart truly goes out to you and all the rest who have posted.

Dansk

Sirona:

ALL of the JW friends I had do not want to know me.

There were over 130 people in our congregation, many of whom we'd known for nigh on 20 years, and we were considered a wonderful (THE model) family. We had many brothers and sisters round for meals, even though we weren't nor ever expected to be invited round to their homes in return. We've helped many a family - and yet since we exited we have not had a single telephone call or visit from any of our so-called 'friends'. As you also know I have a serious illness, but even that hasn't elicited any sympathy - not even in our daughters - to telephone or visit.

Also, have you noticed that some of the most hypocritical JWs are the worst at putting the knife in? They're so quick to jump on the apostate-bashing bandwagon but are blind to their own dastardly deeds.

Friends? You're far better off without them. We now have true friends - those that take us for our warts and all.

Love,

Ian

x

Fleur

I find knowing what others have been through makes me stronger, more resolved to save my child from going through it later in life by being drawn into the cult. I didn't have that choice, she will, in fact, does.

I actually consider the pain I have from losing my family to be a worthwhile price to pay to keep her safe from their influence. They don't realize it, by shunning her along with me, they are doing me, and her, a gigantic favor in the long run.

I only listed those in what I consider my immediate family, people that I interacted with daily. But in my family, there are so many more in total. This is because my grandmother who was the first to convert to JW in the 40's, literally has more than a dozen siblings and all but two of them became and still are JW. So I have hundreds, literally, hundreds of aunts, uncles, cousins, spread out nationwide, at bethel, some have been circuit overseers...hundreds of pioneers...

Hundreds and hundreds of people.

Gary, your quote about it being a social holocaust with smiles and religious love...has to be my leading contender for quote of the year. It's exactly right. And we shouldn't suffer in silence, either. The world should know how destructive this cult is.

hugs,

essie

kittyeatzjdubs

i was born into the jw religion in 1985. i got baptized at the age of 13. the first time i got disfellowshipped was so painful that i was back after only 9 months. losing the congregation wasn't painful, it was losing my family.....mother, both sisters (one who is also dsf'd too) my brother, niece & nephew. when i got dsf'd again last year, i made no effort to come back b/c i knew my heart wasn't in it. but the night i decided that, was the most painful in my life. i stayed up for hours sobbing and looking through pictures of us. what tore my heart to pieces the most was leaving my niece and nephew....they were only 6 & 7 yrs old at the time and they didn't understand. ***trying not to cry***..............it ANGERED me SO BAD when i found out that their parents had told them "she doesn't love Jehovah or you anymore...." HOW DARE THEY!!!!! HOW DARE THEY!!!!! they don't know how many nights my boyfriend has had to come into our room and hold me because i can't stop crying!!!!!!! they don't know how many times i've sat in the floor looking at pictures of kittens, flowers and powerpuff girls that my baby girl drew for me, wanting to scream and curse god for this wrenching pain in my heart.....they don't know how many tears i've shed for my nephew and his grubby little hands and his stinky little puppy dog smell in the summer. they don't know how bad it hurts to not be able to watch him build with his legos and play basketball with his little short legs....

and to any self serving jw who may stumble upon this and say to themselves, "we dsf'd you for your own good."...........HELL!!!!!!!! THIS PAIN AND HEARTACHE IS FOR MY OWN GOOD???!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!! YOU CUT YOURSELF OFF FROM YOUR FAMILY AND SEE WHAT GOOD IT DOES FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

****sob**** i just want my family and my babies back.....

i just thank god everyday for my wonderful loving boyfriend and his compassionate and understanding family and friends. bless my other sister for the pain she suffered at the hand of her abusive jw husband. power to you girl for l..... i love you all thank you to everyone in the JWD. thank you for sharing your pain...and if i could heal mine and everyone else's pain i would do it in a heartbeat.....

<3 kitty

Dansk

I'm unashamedly bringing this BTTT for those who missed it. This is, I feel, an extremely important healing thread. Painful, yes - but it needs saying. Writing our heartfelt feelings down is good therapy.

Ian

Sirona

Ian,

Friends? You're far better off without them. We now have true friends - those that take us for our warts and all.

Exactly. It took a while to build up some friendships outside of the JWs but it was well worth it. I've found it difficult but overall at least now I know that I've got friends who stick around no matter what For instance, I know we don't talk much, but I know that if I had a problem and I rang you up, you'd be there for me

Sirona

ivy

I still speak to my parents and my brother, but the wall is there. I am no longer one of them. I can't list what was lost. I don't think it is possible. It's not just the actual blood relatives. When you are raised as a JW, that is your family. You are all calling each other brother and sister. You know that your loving family is all over the world. I don't know if it sinks in as much if you didn't grow up with it, but that was what I knew. On the positive flip side, the experience taught me that blood isn't always what makes a family, and like so many of you, I would never give up the "worldly" family I have now.

Country_Woman

I think that I am one of the "lucky" exceptions: I did'nt lost a single member of the family to the borg (being the last one of three who left - the first DF-ed, the second died and I just vanished)

I not even lost all of the JW acquintances - a few of them stil gives me telephone calls and one copple did invite me for diner a few times (never officially -always when they saw me occasionally).

When I meet some in shops or on the street, they will talk to me. That was making Viv so angry: they completely ignored her - even while she was standing at my side. At first I not even noticed that she was shunned. When I finally saw it, I have asked the members of the congregation when they weren't able for normal civility, they don't talk to me either. Wich shocked them: it was Jehovah who ordered them, what I countered with: no it is Brooklyn who said that. I don't ask friendly words, just normal civility.... cos this is an insulting me.

bem

Good for you! Country_woman I'm proud of you for sticking up for Viv. I had similar expierience's with my daughter. so-called friends would ignore her & she was in good standing.

Sorry Ian I was gonna bttt the thread but had to give C_W a thumbs up.

heatherg

I lost my mom,dad,and 3 brothers. Along with all of my "friends". For me time has stopped since I left, I will always think of them as how they were when I left 10 yrs ago. I have no idea who they are today. It's sad to think that all you knew growing up is now gone, it's almost as if they had died. hg

THE ESTRANGED FAMILIES LIST

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