by Dansk 117 Replies latest members private
Due to the number of newbies that appear to be arriving more regularly I'm unashamedly bringing this thread back to the top. I know just how painful it can be to post one's story, but it's obvious from many posts here that they help others.
Thanks!
Ian
I'm seeing new people popping up at JWD and thought this thread needed to be brought back to the front.
bump
Well I don't come to this forum regularly, but since I'm checking it out lately and just not seeing this thread, I thought I'd add my input. I used to say I've moved on and it really doesn't bother me much, but the truth is it does hurt. I still think I can keep moving forward with my own life and I'll be ok if I have to die with relations the way they are, but it's good to acknowledge the way things are.
Fortunately, my parents still talk with me on limited basis, however, I have two sisters who refuse to speak with me at all whatsoever. I have another sister who still lives at home with my parents and speaks with me on a limited basis and I have a brother who never has been baptized so there's really not much change with him. However, I used to talk more with my two sisters as they were closer in age as well, but we haven't spoken for over three years now and I can see nothing but the years piling up in the future. I used to wonder how people could go 10, 20 years or so without speaking with their brothers or sisters. Now, I can see how easy it is when one person decides to shut down the relationship.
I do have a confession, however. I totally understand my sisters feelings. When I was a blindly-following JW, I followed the shunning rules just as strictly and coldly. In fact, I am surprised that my parents continue to talk to me as much as they do. I guess they do have some natural parental feelings that are overriding those strict JW shunning rules. But anyway, I was just as strict with the shunning rules when I was a JW and I shunned my cousin who used to be one of my best friends. When I was a JW, not only did I shun, but I felt hurt that he had left/DF and that no one had told me. It was like I didn't see him around anymore and then I found out why by overhearing a conversation. Then I saw him at a District Assembly. He walked while I was talking to a mutual family member and I said bye to the mutual family member, spun around and walked off without saying anything. I genuinely felt that he had "turned his back on Jehovah", and that hurt me as well. (Amazing the feelings one can assign to an intangible/imaginary being.) I'm sure my sisters are feeling the same as "good JW's" are supposed to feel. Unfortunately, I haven't worked up the nerver to contact him and apologize and talk with him again. I'm not quite sure what to expect, whether he'll be angry because of my shunning, whether he's working on going back to being a JW and it's his turn to shun me now or what. Both of our lives have taken their own paths since our late teens when we last hung out together a lot. But I guess I'll just have to call him up and find out. One of these days I will.
None of the few other extended family members who are JW follow the shunning rules as strictly. I have one family member who has been DF for years. I used to see him occasionally and speak with him on a limited basis, because like my parents, other JW family members did not follow the shunning rules to the letter. I have an aunt who was DF in recent years who I had a chance to see and speak with who doesn't seem to hold my shunning against me. I believe she is out for good. I have another aunt who was DF and then reinstated. She also seems fine with speaking with me. However, I was never as close with them as I was with my cousin, because they lived in another area and because they were closer to my mother's age. I haven't really observed much the changes in relationship between those aunts and my mother (they are all sisters). But I do know there is some awkwardness and tension on both sides of the family because of the situation at least among the former and current JW's. Fortunately, very few follow the shunning rules as coldly and as strictly as I did.
Have lost for daughters to the cult.
I've lost 2 sisters, all 3 of my now grown children and all of my maternal family members. They go back as JW's 4 generations...even meeting Rutherford.
I lost my Mom literally to this cult -- she died -- needing, but, not getting a simple blood transfusion.
I will not rest until I have done everything in my power to save my children and grand children from the deadly influence of this cult.
Rabbit
Mum, dad, brother and sister, all gone from the age of 17 thanks to the WTBTS.
I just found this thread for the first time and have read every post on every page. It's heartbreaking. I'm still fighting to avoid the pain and loss so many of you have described although in truth I know it's already starting. I always initiate contact, they never do - you know what I mean?
I have to say that of all the dozens of replies that I read here it is Kitty's that will haunt me for a long time. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/88460/1476675/post.ashx#1476675
they don't know how many nights my boyfriend has had to come into our room and hold me because i can't stop crying!!!!!!! they don't know how many times i've sat in the floor looking at pictures of kittens, flowers and powerpuff girls that my baby girl drew for me, wanting to scream and curse god for this wrenching pain in my heart.....they don't know how many tears i've shed for my nephew and his grubby little hands and his stinky little puppy dog smell in the summer. they don't know how bad it hurts to not be able to watch him build with his legos and play basketball with his little short legs....
****sob**** i just want my family and my babies back.....
Lot's of love Kitty
I could only get through part of the first page of this thread, Ian. It is so heartbreaking that it tears me up. The amount of pain and suffering that this book publishing company has inflicted on people is unbearable.
May God look down and correct this terrible situation.
In my case, my only brother died just weeks before we came to the realization of the lies of the organization. My mother died shortly after we left and was also unaware of our thinking. That was a blessing, that they did not have to be forced to decide how to treat us. And we did not have to deal with the pain of loosing them in that way [though of course the pain of their death was enormous, but I wonder if it would be as bad as having them treat you as dead while still alive - not sure on that]
I have lost one cousin who is in - though a month ago we had a little contact for the first time in over a year. Wifey has been spared much of it due to the 'weak' family she has in who have not bothered to shun her.
We have been pretty lucky compared to what I have read here.
Jeff
Dansk this was a really great idea bro, really helps to put into better perspective the lives of all our friends on here...
For me personally, I was cut off from any contact with my eldest sister & her husband just over 4years ago now.
My mother wasn't quick to cut me off, but after very limited phone contact, my mother formally cut me off in late 2003...I haven't seen her now around the same period of time, about 4years.
My other older sister, I have had limited phone/email contact with since leaving the org in late 2003, although it's been in spits and spirts. I haven't seen her for just over 3years now.
My aunt and uncle, active witnesses, welcomed me back into their home after some years, and continue to be willing to maintain some contact.
3 of my 4 younger siblings still live under my mothers care, and are also active witnesses (at this stage). I have very limited contact with them, and don't really know the young adults they've become. But I hold out hope that they too will one day see the truth about the troof...not that I'd want them to go through what myself, and my close cousin have gone through in leaving the org...but at least they will always have us if they do :)
My heart goes out to all who have posted on this thread. We have so much in common, and that's why we come here, to support each other.
Much luv froggy, x
